Working mom and having time to keep house clean.?

Question

I'm a working mother with a 1 year old. On the weekends I clean my house really good and by the middle of the week it is a disaster again. I get home about 5pm. and am constantly going with my son until his bed time about 8pm. After I put him to bed I just want to go to bed myself and forget about everything, but when I wake up in the morning everything is a disaster. Does anyone have any suggestions or tips on how to balance work, son, cleaning house, cooking dinner for my husband.

Answer 1

I have a 3 month old and I'm having a similar problem. My mother-in-law watches my daughter during the day and 3 days out of the week she does it at her home. The other two days she INSISTS on coming to our house. At first it was only going to be one day at our house, but she changed her mind and now insists on coming twice a week. It wouldn't be quite so bad if she would come two days in a row, but she won't. She wants to come over on Tuesdays and Fridays. My husband and I have both told her that one day a week was more than enough, but she just refuses to listen. I know she thinks she's being helpful, but it's more stress on me to try to get the house presentable the night before she comes over and now I have to do it twice a week instead of just once a week. If it were my mom coming over I wouldn't stress at all, but my mother-in-law and all three of my sisters-in-law are the type of people that you could drop by their home at any time unannounced and there is never anything dusty, dirty cluttered, or out of place.

It's hard for me to give advice to you when I can't let go of some things myself. My husband will at least vacuum, take the trash out and cook dinner sometimes, but the rest is pretty much up to me. On top of working full time, I'm responsible for washing and preparing all of the bottles (boiling water and pouring it into bottles, measuring formula), washing the rest of the dishes, giving our daughter her Zantac and a bath, getting her clothes ready for the next day (depending on if she is going to Grandma's or staying home), doing all the laundry (although I definitely won't let anyone else do my laundry), cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, dusting, straightening and going through stacks of mail and papers, paying bills, grocery shopping for us and to make sure there's plenty of food for my mother-in-law to eat.

I completely understand how you feel about just wanting to go to bed after you get your son into bed. Do you not ask your husband for help, or does he just not want to help? I know I could ask my husband for more help, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist and it's hard for me to give up that control. I know I'd be going behind him redoing everything anyways if it wasn't up to my standard. We also have a very messy basset hound who slings slobber everywhere and sheds terribly - I wouldn't give him up for the world, but he is a mess.

What about trying to prepare some extra meals on the weekend to stick in the freezer to make it easier during the week. All in all, I guess we need to remember that it won't be how clean the house is, etc. that our children remember when they get older, it will be the time that we spend with them.

Answer 2

Sounds like you need your husband to help out more. We have a very active 3.5 year old son who is always pining for my attention because I am constantly busy with our 2 month old daughter or the 4 other kids I have in my in-home daycare. In the evenings I try to set aside at least half an hour to spend with my son where he can have my full attention...so between this, cleaning, cooking and taking care of the baby there is little time for rest. Thankfully my husband is the best in the world and takes the initiative to clean up dinner if I cook or if I'm busy with the baby he'll start dinner or whatever needs to be done. We are a team and we operate as such so that everything gets done (at least most nights) and we still spend time with the kids.
If you are thinking that since I have an in-home daycare I can get stuff done during the day that is sorely un-true, my day is spent serving breakfast, two snacks and lunch, cleaning up from them, planning and doing activities, reading stories, and by the end of the day (6:30am to 5:30pm) I try to make sure my house doesn't look like I had 5 kids running around it all day.
Pick stuff up as you go about your business and things won't get out of control as quickly, take an extra 5 minutes before be no matter how tired you are to just pick up a few more things. Good luck to you, it is doable, you just have to get into a routine and don't be afraid to ask your husband for help!

Answer 3

You keep on putting and cleaning while your cooking dinner.
Your husband can take some of the slack and look after the little one while your doing that. I wash the dishes I use to prepare the meal by hand while I am cooking. Another thing is, you keep the house tidy and it will automatically look clean. Keep a box for his toys, which he can pick up and drop everything in. Throw the newspaper, magazine etc in the recycle box and put the dishes away. All you need is a 1/2 hour after he goes to bed. Its demoralizing if you wake up to the disaster, so an 1/2 hour of your time can make you feel better for the whole day.
I am a feminist but I like to clean and dust, because I am very particular where everything goes and therefore I rather have him entertain my kids. When someone came to visit they always said, you're house looks so clean with three kids and a job. It wasn't clean it was just tidy.

Answer 4

Negotiate and communicate w/hubby.

If you're both working all day his "job" doesn't end when he gets home either. Tell him... clean the bathroom or cook the dinner which do you want? Play with the baby or tidy the bedroom? Load the dishwasher or make the lunches? Feed the baby or bathe him later?

You can even start smaller if you like. I notice that you said "cooking dinner for my husband." Maybe you can cook dinner WITH your husband. Try a conviently placed "slice the mushrooms or cook the noodles?"

You'll get the hang of it... and it's actually kind of fun figuring out which he thinks are the WORST chores :-)

Hang in there!

Answer 5

MY answer would be, you cant be expected to work, play with your son in the evenings, cook dinner for your husband, and clean the house. Sorry, it cant be done! What are your husband's responsibilties? I've gotten it so that in the evenings my husband and I take turns with preparing dinner and playing/feeding our daughter. The house is usually messy, I'll give you that, but I am NOT going to spend every second of my day stressed out trying to get everything done. I need some relax time (like now, when my daughter is napping, I come online and answer ?'s!). I used to see my husband come home, sit his butt down on the couch, and flip on the TV while I ran around with my head cut off trying to tidy, fix dinner, nurse my daughter, put her in bed, set the table, finish dinner, put it away, etc etc. He just let me too, he didnt offer to help! I put my foot down, and he realises now I'm not about to do it all so that he can relax. That isnt fair. I let him have a choice on what activity he wants to do, and he usually gets to watch TV while he does it so he doesnt lose out entirely. Call me a feminist....

Answer 6

I have four kids ages 6-16 and am a single mom. I realize your delima and sometimes I would be doing the dishes and crying, but hang in there. I suggest hiring someone to clean at least once per month if you can afford it. If not, muti-task (do laundry while washing the dishes, put baby in walker, and always remember that there are alot of people in your shoes and it can be done. A clean house is not everything either. Your priorities now are your baby, yourself, husband, and then house. Remember that.

Answer 7

I too work FT and had 3 children I mean 4(thats my husband) I try to do a bit every night. Usually I try to get dinner prepared the night before for the next day, do a load or two of laundry , pick up and vacuum. Then on saturday mornings all I really have to do is wiping things down. Also you don't have to live in a perfectly spotless house, it has taken me along time to realize that (I am a neatness freak)

Answer 8

Hubby definately sounds like he needs to help out more and all i can say is try to keep the mess under control but not perfect during the week. You need time for you too. When you think back on this time, do you want to remember all you did was clean? or do you want to remember the precious moments you should be having as a family. The mess will always be there, but you child will not be little forever....So don't try to hold yourself to this ideal working mother, it doesn't exist and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to meet a standard that no one can possibly live up to. And if your husband has a problem with it, tell him to suck it up and help out then.

Answer 9

Hi there,

I operate a cleaning service and a lot of our clients have a similar problem. We regularly help them out by offering a house cleaning checklist. The premise is that you should focus on doing a few small things each day in the key areas of your home. Here is an example we placed on our blog.

Hope it's helpful!

Answer 10

I just do what I need to do during the week like dishes and laundry and then I just keep things picked up. I'm like you I wanna go to bed when my son does but usually I just take 30 minutes after he goes to bed to do dishes and pick up.

Ask your husband to help out too. My fiance does. He helps out a lot just to keep things in order. Then on the weekends I can focus on really cleaning like dusting.

Good luck.

Answer 11

I use to stress out over my house so much. I am a neat freak too. I hate having a messy house but with a one and three year old it's almost impossible to have a **** and span house. I try to make sure the main things are done (dishes, laundry, bathrooms,floors,) and do the rest when I get a chance. It will get so much easier the older your child gets. And you have to take out time for yourself too. It's kinda hard when your a working mom because something is going to suffer and it's usually not your job. but you gotta make a living.