Whats your view of IVF?

Question

I know a lot of people aren't going to like that I've got to say but I'm saying it anyway!

IMHO if someone isn't able to have kids then its meant to be that way for whatever reason. If your body is saying no to having kids then it should be left at that. All this meddling with nature is no good and its worrying to think where or when it will end.

I also strongly object to people getting it for free on the NHS. Also its turning into a lifestyle choice. 'I want a career before kids so I'll wait till I'm almost to old then get IVF done - problem solved'.

Nature should be left alone.

I just think having a child is a privilige - not a right!

The refernces being made to having cancer aren't relevant. Not having a baby won't kill you.

Answer 1

Do you also agree then that if you have cancer it's meant to be that way? You seem to think it's an easy option - it's not. It is an intrusive medical procedure and people do not take it lightly. I think you would feel differently if you yourself could not get pregnant without intervention - and talking of intervention, I bet you don't feel that if your body can get pregnant at any time, then it should be allowed to follow the natural course of things. You seem like a selfish and immature individual who hasn't thought this through - I hope you're just young and stupid rather than mature and ignorant.

Answer 2

I agree with you along the lines especially when I have heard that women over the age of 50/ 60 are getting it. What have they been doing for the last 20 years when they could easily have had children then? They should be welcoming their grandchildren into the world at that stage of their life.
As much as the NHS is in crisis why should they be getting it for free from my taxes... hello? Shouldn't the money be put into getting more staff and equipment to save the lives of people in the health care service.
As I studied how IVF works it is a really hard process which puts so many couples at the breaking point of their relationship. IVF is not easy as the media make it out to be, women have to do alot of hormone therapy stuff to release eggs and if you are in your 60's its difficult as you would have through menopause!
I agree that people should be allowed to recieve IVF if their fertility has been affected when they are not old ebough to have children.

Answer 3

My sister in law had ivf to conceive my nephew who is gorgeous and a lovely healthy little boy but at the time I didn't agree with the circumstances. She already had three children naturally but due to an operation she had when they were older she couldn't conceive naturally. She had been with my brother in law for about ten years and they decided they wanted a child together but discovered that they couldn't do it without help so they went ahead with an NHS scheme which allowed free treatment for couples if the woman was prepared to donate some of her eggs in return. They did this and everything worked out successfully and they now have a lovely , healthy one year old boy.
I can see their side because this will be my brother in laws only child and he is such a devoted father but I can't help thinking about my sister in laws other children who will be out there in the world being raised by strangers and because of the new laws they could turn up on her doorstep in 18 years time! Their argument was that the other kids will have happy lives because they will be so wanted but I think this is rather naive because even wanted kids get abused. I know that sounds very sentimental but I view my own eggs as potential children MY children so therefore to casually give them away just seems so callous to me. I do understand that if I have no more children then I am wasting eggs which could be given life if I donated them and some woman who was desperate to have a baby could do so but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I think sometimes women get so desperate for a child they will do anything. I just hope that my sister in law doesn't ever have any regrets but then I'm sure when she looks at her little boy it all seems worthwhile.

Answer 4

Have you ever taken a pill or any medication, prescribed or over-the-counter? How about a shot? How about a vaccination? That is also messing with nature. They are foreign to your body. And some of us were unable to have children without IVF because of pills or shots that had been given to us over our lifetime by our general physicians.

Responses like this only come from people who either had no trouble having children or don't want them in the first place. If you have never been in those shoes, then you cannot judge. And some of us had to have IVF early in life before our careers in place. You really shouldn't generalize.

Answer 5

I agree with you to a point, as I'm assuming that I will be able to have kids in the future but if for some reason I can't, I would probably try IVF to see if I could conceive this way. If it didn't happen after, maybe the second attempt, then I would give up. I wouldn't spend all my money on IVF, or use donor eggs or a surrogate. Some women aren't meant to be mothers. It's a gift, not a right.

Answer 6

how i see it, I was a product of two people that really should NEVER have been allowed to reproduce. After taken into fostercare. I got to see what it was like for "those" who couldnt have kids.
My foster mom, who I love to death,
had 6 kids. all born at 6 months, all died within a few days. (some were twins)
This is a woman that I would give anything to be my REAL birth mother. Amazing woman.
so she adopts a boy. wont get into his past bit lets say his birth mother and boyfriend nearly killed him. He was born at 6lbs and by the time my foster mom got him he was 3 lbs.

She got pregnant unexpectedly again. and gave birth once again at 6months. One lived and another didn't because the dr pulled on his leg too hard and ruptured his liver.

Now shes a full time mom, and not only that, takes in foster kids and has adopted two.

People who really want kids and who are CAPABLE OF BEING A PARENT should be allowed to have kids. or adopt or foster parent.
I agree though with the whole career before kids thing though. although there are some that do get so caught up with life that before they realize it its too late and they really cant help it, those who make a concious choice to abuse the use of ivf though, (which I havent really heard of) shouldn't

Answer 7

I was very lucky that I conceived naturally at least four times after the age of 40 and now have three healthy children. It was not a case of career first and then children, it was the fact that I had not met the right man (who turned out to be the wrong one, but that is another story)

Parenting is a basic instinct, not a right and IMHO it is people with bigoted ideas who should be prevented from becoming parents.

Answer 8

You are a nasty selfish little ***** who have no idea how painful it is to be told you can't have children. I take comfort from the fact that you are probably very young and have no idea what you are talking about.

It has NOTHING TO DO with wanting a career btw. There are plenty of young women who have problems like polycystic ovaries, endometrosis, blocked tubes, or their partners have low sperm counts etc. It is not their fault nor is it anything to do with "bad diet" or unhealthy living, some people are just born that way.

YOU try the pain of years and years of watching everyone else around you having babies and constantly failing to conceive yourself. Knowing you will never experience pregnancy and birth.

Adoption is not an alternative - have you any idea how hard it is to get approved to adopt in the UK? And its not the same adopting another person's child as having your own.

You are selfish and cruel to say these things. Thank God you are only some saddo on Yahoo answers.

As for it is "meant to be" thats CRAP! I was told I could never have kids - tried for 12 years unsuccessfully and am now pregnant naturally so whoever decided it was "not meant to be" cocked up there.

But my cousin has finally had to give up trying for children after several miscarriages and failed IVFs and if I could get hold of whoever "decided" it was "not meant to be" for her I would be very angry - she is the loveliest person on earth and would have made the best mother. There is no reason why it should "not be meant to be". She has been suicidal about this. Do you fancy explaining your "views" to her?!? I DARE you!

You are very stupid and callous to say these things.

Answer 9

I don't agree with you one bit! Seeing as you have a son, you know how wonderful it is to be a parent and have that privilege. my sister and brother in law are going through this right now. He had cancer when he was 17 yrs. old. They froze his sperm. This is the only way they will be able to have a child, either by IVF or artificial insemination. They did artificial once and it did not take. They are thinking about IVF next. They are saving there own money to do it. That is there business. There is no natural way for them. They feel that they will try and if not it is not meant to be and they will look into adoption. But why should they lose a chance into having a baby just because he had cancer at 17 yrs. old. If medically doctors can do it and the parents are willing to go through with it that is there business. I would like to see how you would feel about this subject if you couldn't have your son.

Answer 10

Find it hard to understand how someone who has a child can be so blase about other women not being able to have them. But if your body said that no you can't have children then you would be happy to be without your child? I don't think so i am lucky enough to have a child and it is the best thing that could ever happen to me. to say that someone will just have to go without is horrible....What about someone who suffers from diabetes there body wont produce insulin so should they just be left to die because there body refuses to produce it? again i think not.
I can understand your view about people that want it all the long standing career then having a child very late in life needing IVF to help but again surely every woman should have that wonderful special privilege of becoming a mum. And i share your concerns about the whole picking the sex of the baby and "designer" babies but if a little medical intervention to remove a faulty gene could prevent a child from being born with a debilitating disease surely that is right and fair?

Answer 11

I dont agree...I think that a couple can do anything they want to have a baby and IVF is an option for many. So you think abandonned children should not be adopted because that's what nature intended for them? come on, I think people have the right to do whatever they want and fight for their dreams....I've seen the pain of a close couple that can't have children so I think you're being unfair here....it's heart breaking ,.. I have encouraged them to do all they want to get a child.....after all is a free country isn't it?