The reason they are divorced, is because she cheated on him. She is still with the guy that she cheated with, and seems happy with him. She and my husband have four children together. I love his children, and they love me, too. That is a wonderful thing in itself. She hates me. She bad-mouths us to their kids. His 14-year-old daughter barely even talks to him now because of her ‘poison’. The ex physically attacked me one night when we were getting some medical papers from her regarding their youngest son. She also called me fat and a gold-digger. We live in a small community, and she has been telling people (parents of their children’s friends) that she feels sorry for my husband, because he and I don’t have a good relationship, and that my two daughters and their three sons fight constantly…NONE of which is true. People have told him what she is saying. We can’t move, because the court ordered that his boys had to go to this school.
2006-10-25 02:10:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
They have joint custody (50/50), a week at a time, so there is a constant exchange of papers & information. She lives less than ¼ mile from us. She calls our house like crazy when the boys are with us, “to talk to them, because she misses them”. I feel like she lives in our house…her presence does anyway.
2006-10-25 02:10:59 · update #1
Also, my husband seems obsessed with what she will do next, and we spend a lot of time talking about her, because she is driving us crazy. I know this is not healthy, and I suggested that he stop bringing her up. He said that if he didn’t bring her up, that I would…and he is right. Has anyone else had any experience with this kind of thing? Please, only sincere answers. Thank you.
2006-10-25 02:11:11 · update #2
wow........quite a lot of drama going on in your life. i have been through a similar situation and what i found really helps is just to ignore her. i KNOW it is hard but by no way react to anything she does. simply deal with her for drop offs and pick ups and with the paperwork. remain completely business like. what she is saying around town, dont worry about it. people are prettty smart and they can smell a rat, the ones that believe her well you dont need them anyways. i would sit down with the kids and tell them that THEY are your focus. tell them you know their mother says stuff about you and their father and you are sorry that they have to listen to that but there will be no bad talking about anyone in your house. you two have to be the BIGGER people in this situation. and eventually the kids will realize that you are not playing their mothers game. i can guarantee you the children do not like how their mother talks about you or their father. it will just take time until they are able to tell her that it makes them uncomfortable.......it will have to come from them for her to stop. trust me i have been through this and just treating her with a certain level of respect for being their mother and keeping it focused on the children will eventually make her look like a fool, or hopefully smarten up and act the same way. GOOD LUCK!!
also about her calling the kids when they are at your house for the week......DONT answer the phone! does it say in the custody agreement anything about this....just give the kids the option to call her anytime but dont let her disrupt YOUR time with the kids.....
2006-10-25 02:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by klausier 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to take the higher moral ground in this & don't bad mouth her or her parenting skills to anyone.
1) His 14 yr old daughter will soon realise what her mum is like and the truth in what she is saying, the daughter will make up her own mind & by being the same as usual & not bad mouthing or getting upset she will see what the reality is.
2) The fact the kids love you shows that they are already starting to make up their own minds, by being nice & biting your tongue you are gaining far more points in their eyes & they will love you more for it
3) The best thing to do is just thank the person for telling you then brush it off saying you and your family are perfectly happy.
People will listen to what she says and more than likely think it's jealousy on her part, you'll find very few people will believe her, and by bad mouthing you both she is destroying any sympathy people may have had from her.
You and your husband must stop discussing her all the time though, as it wont do your marriage any good & in the end your relationship will suffer which is what she wants.
Give yourselves a set time to discuss her & the problems say 7pm till 8pm then thats it you get on with being a loving & happy family.
Don't let her win
2006-10-25 02:25:36 · answer #2 · answered by madamspud 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should get a court order against her. Change your phone number and get a cell phone for the kids, so when she phones she must phone on the cell phone. Just by doing this you’ll put lesser stress on your relationship. Start to make new rules, ignore her as much as you can, don't deal with her. Confront her about the lies and tell her next time you are going to get a court order, and then she will stop. You and your husband must take action, it’s your life! About the 14 year old, some day she will come around. The best thing that you can do from your side just be a stunning friend to all of them, let them trust you.
2006-10-25 02:25:09 · answer #3 · answered by confussie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually have had this experience it was not an easy thing to go through.Your husband has to be totally committed to your marriage and your feelings. She can't be the center of all you do and say. The best way to quell rumors is to ignore them, it's a hard thing to do, but rumors go away eventually. The two of you have given her too much power! She has the power to run your house without being in it. For starters, you should let your husband handle anything that has to do with the children on the outside of your home. When the children come into your home, you then have a say. Be careful not to discuss their mother in front of them, and be the person you are. You and your husband have to present a united front, if not things won't work. You and your husband get together behind the scenes and plan your mode of operation, then you can execute your plan because the two of you will be on the same page. Strip her of her power, and make her play your game. Now, you guys are playing her game, switch up and let her see you enjopying life instead of her watching you react to what she does and says!
2006-10-25 02:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in that situation, and unfortunately the poison can just eat you up sometimes. Trust that most people will see through her lies and destruction. Be the best parents you can be to those kids, they will see you for who you really are. Don't stoop to her level whatever you do. I suspect she is jealous of the relationship the two of you have, and that her husband moved on and is happy, without her. The kids will come to see the truth, which is unfortunate for them. They need their mother to be a mother. Do the best you can and rise above. Maybe soon she will tire of playing these games, and grow up and be a parent. In the meantime try not to worry about it.
2006-10-25 02:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
first of all i might say BRAVO to you for being a girl and dealing this out inclusive of your husband. prolonged relationships are area of our society and loads of ladies get twisted. You seem to have it under administration and she or he sounds like a real *itch. confident, keep each and every thing she does and says in a diary. Your husband and you should make a determination with reference to the ATM undertaking - he will pay new child help and she or he desires to examine to stay to tell the tale a funds. tell her by way of a letter if she choose further suggestions she is to bypass to the family members courtroom and characteristic her help records revised. If mandatory, you are able to hire a criminal expert and each thing that she desires ought to now be executed by way of him. of direction she would be ready to aim to apply the new child against him yet judges seem down in this habit so tell him to maintain on with the e book to a "t' and on no account say something detrimental with reference to the mum in front of his daughter. She won't win this conflict.
2016-12-08 20:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that his ex is totally not over him. She doesn't like you in the picture and she can't stand the fact that the children love you. I think that maybe you should try family counseling. This can be harmful to the family and your marriage.
2006-10-25 02:15:19 · answer #7 · answered by MIA 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why didnt you have her arrested when she attacked you??? that might have put her in her place, i would file a civil suit against her for slander and harrassement, win the case , and you got grounds to take her back to court and get custody,
2006-10-25 02:14:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is serious!!! Deal with her to maintain your husband.
2006-10-25 02:22:13 · answer #9 · answered by zily 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋