16 Year Old Son Refuse to Go to Dad's for Visitation?

Question

What can I do, my 16 year old son is so afraid of his father that he has now refused to go over there. I do not want to be held in contempt. I am encouraging him to go but he is 6' 220#s - I can hardly MAKE him go. He talked in confidence to the Judge once and was encouraged to stay in touch. – I found out after the fact that my son did stay in touch by writing several emails to the Judge complaining about the way his father treats him. He thought that they would be in confidence as well – but the Judge forwarded copies to both attorneys. – When his father read them he went off on a big tirade. My son is now scared to go over there. – What now ????

Answer 1

If the dad has a court ordered visitation schedule, then he's entitled to have his son come visit him, but this does NOT mean that YOU have to enforce that. Let the dad show up at your place to pick up your son. If he (your son) refuses to go, then it's the dad's problem, not yours. I don't think the dad is likely to try physical force, your son's too old for that.

Answer 2

I would contact your attorney. I wouldn't make him go over there if he's afraid of his father. That would just be wrong. At his age, he may not be required to keep in contact with his father anymore. And child support should remain the same whether or not he sees is dad. Child support is to support the child,, not a reward for being able to see the child. Maybe he can talk to is dad on the phone, or have the visitation supervised, so he know his dad can't hurt him. I would also ask if is possible to get another judge, since this one did what he did. It may not be possible, but I would find out. That was wrong of him to do to your son.

Answer 3

If he doesn't want to go because his e-mails caught him, he has to know there was gonna be some kind of reaction,even if it's not the one he wanted. But to stand up to Dad over this is hard, but it still needs to be done . Your son has to tell his dad he doesn't want to spend time with a "Tyrant". Isn"t this what your son is afraid of ? Sound's like your son is wanting a male figure to look up to {the judge},thing's were fine till the judge Tricked him, by telling. Now he's got to face up. If dad is really a bad dad, to bad for him , his son has some good friend's in high places.But don't make your son go if he doesn't want to.

Answer 4

It sounds like your son is a pretty big boy. I think he needs to stand up to his father with you there, of course, or over the phone. There is something the court doesnt even consider when dealing with teenagers. The fact that you can't really MAKE them do ANYTHING! Counseling would be my best suggestion. Or more communication between you and your son.

Answer 5

i have gone through the same thing but in reverse my son was afraid to go to his mothers, you can not force him, since the judge is aware of the situation you can not be held in contempt, in the eyes of the court your son is old enough to make up his own mind, and is being treated as such. the fact that the judge sent copies to both lawyers, makes it clear that he does not view this as your fault. encourage your son, but do not try to force him, if you do you will only hurt your relationship with your son. its seems like your x husband needs to mellow out, and allow things to work out on its own. your son has seen something in his farther that makes him feel uncomfortable around him, it may have been there all along as he was growing up, but you where there to be the buffer zone, his protection, now your son feels he has none, and has not yet come to terms on how to deal with, so uses the excuse that he is afraid of him. human nature is such that if we feel uncomfortable doing something we find ways not to do it or deal with it, as he matures his relationship with his father will change as he does, so let it be and if your x calls you about it tell him its his problem he deals with it, and you can t force him to go if he don't want to,

Answer 6

OMG! That Judge shouldn't have done that! You know, same thing happened with my kids. They told children's services stuff that happened with their dad and children's services ended up telling him. They NEVER helped my kids!
I am sorry but I wouldn't make him go. How can they hold YOU in contempt when he is old enough to decide? Check with your attorney or even the police dept. to see if that is a possibility. I feel for you - men like that are such bastards! If you could, please let me know how it goes?

Answer 7

Dont make him go. Your son is old enough now to decide for himself whether or not he wants to go see his dad. Why force him if he isnt going to be comfortable. Do you really want to put your some in a situation where he doesnt want to be in, then he will start resenting you for it. Think real hard of what you want to do and i hope you are thinking of your sons best wishes. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Your child is old enough to make his own decisions about visiting his father. Contact your attorney and see what you can do about getting his visitation changed maybe even have supervised. Good Luck. I truly think that you will do what ever it takes to support and protect your child. I know that I would (i have 4).

Answer 9

hes 16 hes old enough to know what he wants when it comes to going and seeing his father or not. dont make him go, you cant otherwise he could become angry towards you. if the judge says anything tell him the truth. you cant get in trouble i don't believe and anyway would you rather him stay home with you or runaway when he get to his dad. judge should understand

Answer 10

Since he is 16, he cannot be forced to see his father, and that it that! However, dad must ocntinue paying support. What is needed here is professional intervention to find out why dad is such a crap head to his son.