I have probably been reading too much 'men are from mars and women are in venus', but have a male friend who has got himself into a lot of bother lately. I asked him for help a couple of months ago, (unaware of his situation) and have not recieved a reply from him.
I intially took the usual venus reaction which was that since I had helped him in the past, I was angry that he was not there for me. But in his defence, he did say he would help
But he has gone really quiet and I am worried about him, but I am not in a position where I can go barging in and asking if everything is OK. He is in a dark place at the moment. How can I help him if he is stuck in his cave, according to the book I should let him come out of it. But I am really worried about him.
2006-10-25 01:21:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Let him come out of it on his own. You should already know by reading Venus/Mars that men are equipped to handle stress and bad situations much differently than women. Men tend to get quiet and want to stay to themselves until they're ready to get past it. Many men feel that showing emotion is a sign of weakness and he is probably feeling that way. Women tend to want to talk about and express their stress and are more likely to seek help.
All in all neither way is right or wrong we are all just different.
2006-10-25 01:26:48 · answer #1 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get off the wave and go into the cave already. The rather insulting alliteration from Mr. Gray is just to show that we get in different places sometimes, and it's hard to go to the other' person's place. That cave has an entrance. Use it. I have a much better book for you- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You need to learn how to talk to each other so you can deal with all that berf TOGETHER!!!
2016-05-22 12:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget Venus and Mars! Yiu don't mention what has happened to him but it sounds like a lot heavier than anything that book would be able to help with. He obviously needs to talk to someone about his problems bu tunfortunately I don't think there is any way to make somebody realise they have a problem until they get it for themselves. This may take time. In the meantime you can only be there for him, be supportive and don't intrude or you may push him away.
2006-10-25 01:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Philadelphia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just you pay a visit to his cave and reassure him, it'll cheer him right up, thats what i could do with anyway.
When i'm "in my cave" i feel totally helpless and end up shutting out the world until i get some sort of reassurance or rational thought from somebody else
2006-10-25 01:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by Jiggy_O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stuff the damd book - if your an unconditional friend get round to his 'Cave'. If he ain't coming out of it,- then sit in his dark place with him for a while... You might be suprised by the positive effects you have of lightening the 'Darkness'.
Good grief woman - What happened to instinct and intuition ? Get yourself around to his ASAP.
2006-10-25 01:27:58 · answer #5 · answered by mark leshark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop reading that damn book 1st...If the guy is got prollems back off...He'll come around when he get his issues straightened out. Sounds like his wife isn't impressed with him helping you out...As innocent as it may have been...Maybe give him a call " Hi,How are you? Haven't heard from you in awhile". Otherwise...I'd leave it alone or you might end up in a dark place with somebody who isn't as impressed with that book as you are.
2006-10-25 01:29:27 · answer #6 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is planet Earth, so bin the Mars/Venus thing. I take it you're a woman, so, listen to your intuition. Go to your m8 but don't try force him to talk. Don't say you're worried unless you get the hint he's looking for attention. Go and see him.
2006-10-25 05:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is his name Rob and dos he live in Hong Kong?! I'm sorry, I am in the same position and I don't know whats best, I have found that if you keep contacting them, they move further and further away from you ( in my case another country!) Its tough I know cause you just want to talk to him and make things better, be patient he will get in touch when hes ready, I know its hard but don't contact him. If he doesn't call then you have your answer. Sorry. Good luck.
2006-10-25 01:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Jinny ren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other than checking to see that he's still among the living, you need to let him come out of his "funk" on his own. It may take some time...just let him know you're there if he needs/wants support or friendship...then let the situation run its course...
2006-10-25 01:24:02 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've answered your own question..you can't do anything but wait. perhaps ask a mutual male friend to check he's ok if you're that worried but to be honest you sound a little controlling and he's just a friend!
2006-10-25 01:24:19 · answer #10 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋