What should a wife do with a husband who, for the most part of the marriage, cannot consistenly provide for his family and has to rely on his wife to be the sole breadwinner. He trades in stocks and shares and complains that it is a risky business that requires capital and since he does not have the capital, he is not able to succeed. Other times, he blames it on the market conditions. The wife had on several occasions paid his debts off. As a husband and a father, when the wife reminds him of his obligations as a father, he gives the reason that he does not have the money and so is not able to do anything. It has come to a point that when the wife complains about the smallest thing, he sees it as a complain about him not giving her the money that she expects, though the wife don't really need the money as she has enough. The wife though still expects the money so that he is always reminded of his obligation to the family. He sees this "demand" as a tall order from her
2006-10-25 01:10:56 · 10 answers · asked by Tired 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to get out of whatever so-called work he is into and find a real job with a check at the end of every week (or every other week). You aren't wrong to expect that!!!! As a father, he needs to be reminded that this is the example he is setting for his children. He should be expected to be stable and bringing in some sort of income - not put the family in debt. If not and you make enough money, let him be a stay at home dad and expect all the childcare, cooking, cleaning, etc. to be done. Just an idea!!!
2006-10-25 01:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not so much that he 'can't' support his family as much as it is that he 'WONT' support his family.
The reason is simple really - 'he doe'nt have to'. His wife has shown that she will pull him out of any mess he gets himself into and on a subconscious level, if she has all the money to do it with and does not need his support, he feels he can just keep doing what he is doing. His wife is letting him and also supporting him in his endeavours. The words do not matter. The actions speak very clear. She needs to see the 'parasite' he has become.
One way to seize the day is to withdraw from handing over funds and only give him 'pocket money' unti he gets a real job, then he can do with it what he likes 'after' he has met his private financial obligations to his family. Thats if she is prepared to put up with his 'cop outs' which she is showing that she may well be.
Personally I would give him his marching orders and tell him to not come home until he has proved himself useful for 'something!?' If he doesn't then may be he was there for the 'free ride' and his 'free ride' became 'a real family' that has real needs.
Sounds like he lost control of his 'intentions'. Good Luck, if you are a friend trying to advise her though.
Blessings be yours,
Harriett Potty
2006-10-25 01:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by harriettpotty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either he makes money in trading or is a consistent loser. Does he bring in 12% per year of the capital he risk? What's stopping him from working for a company associated with the markets? Possibly the guy has potential. If he is young he might. Markets however are a form of gambling, and gambling is almost as bad as alcoholism. It's a hard question with not much information. The owner of Starbucks (forget his name at the moment) was treated somewhat the same way by his family for a long time. Food for thought.
2006-10-25 01:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just lost our house a year ago, husband refused to pay any bills or get a job. Or go look. Always an excuse or another. When I worked he relied on me to do it. so tell her, if she can't live with it, don't. Or they may end up homeless.
we did, luckily my parents took us in me and kids. Now we're divorcing and he's suing me for custody. After losing the home I told him we could not afford.
He is a jerk and a user and on the internet I spied on him and he constanly looked up hookers and stuff, so yeah, I'd say good riddance.
2006-10-25 03:40:38 · answer #4 · answered by eg_ansel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife should prolly stop playing along with his BullSh*t stock market tycoon fantasy. The wife should also help him pack his stuff... Then the wife needsto have the locks changed on the doors. Tell this joker to good luck in the stock market. Let me know where to send your mail when you hit it big...ADIOS'
2006-10-25 01:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't get a REAL job and support his family dump the loser.
Does his job pass the McDonald's test? (Profit/Hours required) > What McDonald's pays
If not it is a waste of time or a hobby. A hobby does not need to make sense or money. But you need a job before you can support a hobby.
2006-10-25 01:17:08 · answer #6 · answered by Charles C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex quit a good job that he had , had since he was 18 he was 6 mo away from being about to retire (just had to be there 20 years) and up and quit saying that i had been paying the bills before he moved in i could continue doing so and i did but WITHOUT him i send his butt back to his momma where he still is 6 years later can you say loser? DUMP HIM NOW
2006-10-25 01:20:43 · answer #7 · answered by t b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife needs to put her foot down and toss that lazy *** worthless bum out!!!!
2006-10-25 01:12:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably has plenty of money he just doesnt want to give it up. sounds like the "poor" little old lady that acts like she doesnt have a dime to her name but after she dies everyone discovers she was sitting on hundreds of thousands..tell him to man up and pay the damn bills.
2006-10-25 01:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by askmike 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
simple divorce him.....
2006-10-25 01:14:43 · answer #10 · answered by samshel1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋