My wife of 5 years cheated on me after she found out that I get regular lap dances at strip clubs from the same girls. I have been doing it for years and i couldn't stop. My wife is furious at this. She cries all the time and doesn't trust me anymore. She feels ugly (altho is she beautiful) and is depressed. In my opinion she is the cheater!! I was just getting lap dances until I got my rocks off. I never penetrated these women. She went out and screwed somebody else which is far worse. She says she did it to get back at me because she felt invisible and unattractive. What do you think?
2006-10-25 00:53:42 · 28 answers · asked by Mr. CT 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you aren't much of a man.
A spouse's (Husband or wife) first responsibility is to the other spouse. It's your job to make her feel like the most important thing in your life. You failed.
You clearly don't have a clue what 'cheating' means.
You think everything's OK because you didn't "penetrate".
You are just trying to justify actions you know were wrong.
Listen, cheating isn't about penetration, or any specific sex act.
Its about betraying someone's trust. When your wife married you, she expected you to not have sex with anyone else. You knew that, and you did it anyhow, and you probably lied to her about it, too.
Your wife didn't do anything you didn't do first. That doesn't make it right, but now you know how you made her feel. It wasn't "far worse", it was exactly the same.
I don't blame her for feeling the way she feels. You treated her like sh it.
It's pretty pathetic that a stripper can get you off with a lap dance. I'm a guy who likes to go see strippers once and a while but have never seen a dancer so hot or so talented that she could get me off without unzipping my fly and actually handling my d ick.
OK, lets review. You are a premature ejaculating whore dog who f ucked up your marriage to a good woman.
Go home. Get some psychological help. Apologize over and over. Forgive her for anything you have driven her to do.
Show her how much you love her all the time, not just when she's right there, but when she's not, too.
If you can't do that, tell her to call me. We won't cheat , I promise.
Dumba ss.
2006-10-25 01:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by michaelsmaniacal 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is just my opinion I don't want to sound like I'm having a go but you have asked so here goes. I can see why your wife was upset by your habit as in implied that you couldn't get enough satisfaction out of her however pretty and nice she is, you still had to search for something extra. That would make her upset, insecure, upset and would struggle to work out why you would be with her and why she should be with you. I think you both have cheated, cheating is not just about sex but about getting some kind of kick whether it's sex or watching someone naked dance in your face. I wish she had been stronger to not go as far as she did, but she did it probably to test your reaction. I am sorry but if you want this relationship to work you are going to have to realise what drive her to do what she did (even though it was wrong of her to do it). Good luck, if the relationship is worth saving then work through this and try and be a bit understanding towards her.
2006-10-25 00:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by L B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have issues that need to be worked out. First, why do you have a wife? Do you love her? I really don't know why you have to get your rocks off when you have a wife for Christ's sake. It was better that you remain single as marriage is not a mere relationship. Whether you pentrated or did not penetrate is not the issue, the issue is that you both need to work out your differences through counselling. You may have neglected her needs hence she had to fill that void by doing what she did. Not, that i'm condoning her.
What's fair is fair in love and war. Seek counselling or get a divorce. Do what will make both of you happy.
2006-10-25 01:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry dude but women r really hurt by this sort of behaviour.
time 2 get urself some help 4 this addiction.
u may have a long & difficult time getting over this, if ever, u need 2 re-gain ur wifes trust.
it comes down 2 trust & u blew it.
what's worse ur addiction or her cheating on u?
i'd call that even. u hurt her, she's hurt u. learn something from it.
sort ur life out, beat the addiction & win ur wife back it's ur only hope.
2006-10-25 01:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, sir, are an idiot! You are thinking with your little head! She told you that it bothered her. She probably told you a million times. Yet you couldn't give up your tittie addiction. You are also probably emotionally distant from her if you get your rocks off with a stripper. She probably found someone who made her feel good about herself and she made an emotional connection. You are about to become an ex-husband unless you take drastic steps to undo the vast amount of damage you have done to your marriage, to your wife and (if you have kids) to your family. If you can't see that, then you really are a complete jerk and deserve to lose half of everything you own! Then you can spend all the time you want (or can afford) going to the tittie bars...because that's all you are good for.
2006-10-25 01:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by Gary E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO YA BLAME HER??? She might have gone a bit to far, but you should not have kept something like that from her!!!
My husband is addicted to internet porn, he has admitted it to me, and does not hide the fact (although he does it in private).
I slam him when I find the sites in the cookies, and he gets all embarrassed. At least he is at home, and not in the physical company of OTHER women. Both you and your wife are in the wrong. So, since there are two wrongs here, you both can admit to your mistakes, wipe your slates clean, and go on with your marriage. You have to promise to stay away from those trashy, dirty, filthy places, and your wife has to promise to be faithful. If you don't, you might as well toss in the towel, your marriage is pretty much over!
2006-10-25 01:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by LARGE MARGE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you don't expect pity. You are the cheater in this story. Admittedly, two wrongs don't make a right, but you have been neglecting your wife for STRIPPERS, what did you think she was going to do? Sit around and wait for you to grow up and be a man? Come on get serious......and get some help if you think you are going to keep this woman, because obviously you have seriously done some damage to this relationship.
2006-10-25 00:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both were wrong and are both guilty of "cheating" whether or not penetration was involved. You need to get help for your addiction. And do anything you can to make your wife feel sexy. Why not have her give you a lap dance?
2006-10-25 00:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by SHELTIELUVER 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU are wrong for accepting lap dances and being addicted to strippers.
SHE is wrong for cheating on you.
You both need to get some counseling and try to save your marriage. I too have been hurt badly by someone's addictions to porn and strippers. It really is a shame that a lot of men don't see the harm in it. You really hurt your wife.
If you really love her then, admit you have a problem and get help.
2006-10-25 00:58:04 · answer #9 · answered by Agent99 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
the main difficulty-loose answer to why spouses cheat is that some thing is erroneous interior the marriage and the affair is a bi-made of those issues, even while maximum different factors of the dating are working properly. “the subject” is often one that the honest companion who might by no potential think of of cheating would not see or has elected to forget approximately approximately for one reason or yet another. in spite of if this seems to be the main difficulty-loose reason, there are others who have interaction in an affair or infidelity in basic terms for the intercourse. they do no longer decide for his or her dating to end, they only seek for the buzz that being with somebody else brings. the two way, the soreness, humiliation and betrayal are the comparable.
2016-10-02 22:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by banowski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋