Im sure this question has been asked a few times before but it seems everytime i get emotionally close to a girl i feel the need to push her away to protect myself....is this a result of my past or my childhood?
2006-10-24 22:34:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
punk vixen
if we cant understand our past then how do we ever expect to understand the future?
2006-10-24 22:43:39 · update #1
You really need to look in different ways to find out the root of your problem, and it may take you a long time to achieve this goal. But you're not alone. Some people are afraid of any kind of intimacy, and they just don't know why. I hope you'll be able to put a finger on the cause and then find a solution to this problem. Maybe the best way is to talk to an expert and solve the problem as soon as possible. Good luck!
2006-10-24 22:40:33 · answer #1 · answered by danielle s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It can be a little of both but you should leave the past in the past because if you dont you will never get to the future. How would it feel if a girl pushed you away to protect her feelings? Always think about the other person's feelings before you just think about your own...
2006-10-25 05:46:13 · answer #2 · answered by pepperspray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have also done that with my bf but we ended up breaking up for like 2 weeks because i was pushing him away! i had to learn how to forget about my past, not compare what happened in the past but rather to gain knowlege from it and make something good out of it! you feel like you need to push away someone because even though you are attracted or close to them in the back of your mind you still have your past which is dictating and ruling your life! you need to put whatever bad has happened in your other relationships behind you and close that chapter in your life or otheriwise you will never know if the right person for you is gone or not ...look, you have to close that chapter in your book-life- and when you have a relationship open a new one and do not compare ex relationship with the new one or expect to be dumped or someting like that because not all girls are the same! plus a relationship always is based on trust so if you are having doubts then you are ruining any chance of having a decent relationship for both of you! give her a chance and take it slowly and see how things go! you never will know unless you try!
2006-10-25 05:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by icycrissy27blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I'm sure you are right, and I was surprised at how many answers agreed with you!
I am the same, I really try not to get emotionally involved, but I got married, love my wife and Daughter, but am still trying not to get emotionally involved!
That's not quite true, I am trying not to let them get emotionally involved with me would be a better statement!
How to 'cure' this? No idea and I dont even think I want to.
I certainly have no intention of seeking 'professional' advise from any head bangers, I can live with it!!
Can you?, thats the important question??
2006-10-25 06:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by budding author 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends but maybe is because of your past experiences which i dont know exactly much about.......maybe there was someone who use you sexually or abuse you, or simply a girl who you fall for and didnt correspond the feeling and now your scare to let yourself go thur it again. Analyze all the possible reasons why such attitude and why is complicated for you to engaged in a intimacy situation with a female who you are getting emotionally close with.
2006-10-25 05:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by Lizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like someone else mentioned, only you know the answer to this question. You probably already have some idea. It's not an unusual thing and there are plenty of people who go through this same thing. Maybe you can talk to someone about it. Someone who's in a successful relationship, someone you trust and who knows you (because they would have a good idea of what the answer might be), maybe someone a little older and who has your best interests at heart.
2006-10-25 05:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by roamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it has to do with your past relationships. When we feel insecure about ourselves we tend to push people away. This act shows that you are too scared to let her get to know the real you. If there is a will there is a way. Try doing the opposite of what you are doing now, you might like the outcome. Best of luck Marina
2006-10-25 05:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by AngelM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be. Have you had anytime were you loved a girl very much and then somehow she got ripped from you, and you were left heart broken? If that's the case you are only trying to protect yourself. You want to leave them before they can leave you, (but that's a long shot, since I don't know you).
If that has never happened then you have a fear of obligation. You don't want to be tied down to one person, because it closes the door to anyone else.
2006-10-25 05:46:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be...but i think that you have had people leave you maybe in the past, so you push them away before they actually decide to do it...but the problem with this is that what happens if you meet someone who wont decide to leave you, but you are the one who drives them away....you will lose out big time.
2006-10-25 05:41:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
past childhood.. sorry but when is the world going to step up and take responsibility for their own actions? If you're afraid of intimacy but you want it, do something to learn how to get over it but saying that it's something in your past won't help you change it.
2006-10-25 05:40:31 · answer #10 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋