They can be very difficult. I've been with him over 5 years and don't want to be without him but they are hard work!!
2006-10-24 22:25:51 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sure he's aware of the situation, but he should be trying to make it better for all of you, because I'm sure the children are having a difficult time dealing with a broken family, and that may be the reason for their behaviour.
2006-10-24 22:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before answering, I'd like to know if you have any children of your own. How old are his children , are they spoilt by their mom, dad, or you (did you try to buy them earlier in your relationship?) What does the hard work involve? Do you really love him or do you just love having the company and feel secure with him? Love implies a willingness to sacrifice.
If you sincerely want help and aren't just looking for someone to tell you to leave or have you give him an ultimatum, answer my questions and I'm sure you'll get more helpful answers from several people.
2006-10-24 23:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are part of him, and there is no getting around that. He will *never* choose you over his children, and if he did, he would not be the sort of man with whom you would wish to be, anyway. Yes, children are very hard work, but worthwhile. After five years, they are your family, too; are they not worth the work?
If you give up on his children, you may as well do the right and decent thing and bow out of his life now.
2006-10-24 23:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by Freak Of Nurture 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
I see that you have a case of the"baggage blues".....
I know how you feel; I refuse to date either of several women because of having to deal with their baggage.
The off-spring from another relationship can under-mine a union between two people especially, if they are self-centered and un disciplined.
I learned to be careful of what I ask for....
However; If you love him,you have to work harder at acceptance of the diversity of intellect between you and the children.
You can also; try to lay the matter on the table before your mate,
the children are more of his responsibility than yours, technically speaking.
He should care enough to iron out the ruff-edges too, so that you are equally; as comfortable as he is in the relationship...
If he doesn't at least try to resolve the matter, then maybe you should seek other alternatives.
2006-10-24 22:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by cdrc_bkr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This looks like teh sacrifice you have to make. Think future! Thay are not going to be there withyou forever, they will someday leave fo there own houses. See the situation as a temporary problem. Also there is no problem that love and care can not solve. I guess your partner doesn't want to lose you also, show more love and leave the rest to maturity that the children are gradually approaching.
2006-10-24 23:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by Sage_Learner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do really love him, then love the children as much he love them. , for five years you said you've been with him, so you knew already the attitude of the children. if you cant help it anyway, why not tell him in a nice way that you better transfer to another house, but still your going to visit the children. may i ask, how young are the children? you didnt mention it. if the children are still young, they need complete attention from their father and of course you (if the mother isnt living with them) but if the children are in the right age, old enough to live alone, then why worry. my parting word to you, if you love him, a little understanding and sacfrice to his children, because in the end, children in return will show you the love and respect.
2006-10-24 22:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by Salvacionf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You always knew they come as a package , since from the very beginning... donot ask him to choose between you and the children, you will lose him... he might be aware of the fact that you donot like them and probably the kids also do know...
try to love them and keep yourslef in their position. imagine ur dad with someone other than ur mom n how will u feel if ur dad's gf doesnot like u at all..
2006-10-24 22:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by hi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are difficult but if you love him you have to love them too. Its part of the package. Find a way to deal with them or leave bc they deserve soemone that can love them no matter how difficult they are. It might help to have a "family" talk if the kids are old enough to understand.
2006-10-24 22:35:49 · answer #8 · answered by BJTD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah and? you want him to choose you over them......aint gonna happen an you went into it knowing the situation how dare you even suggest he doesnt come as a package...and if he did choose you over them he needs his head read. Grow up or get on your bike...if they are so hard talk to him about it and work things out dont blame the kids they didnt ask for things to be this way did they? put yourself in their shoes
2006-10-24 22:30:52 · answer #9 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you love him you will have to love his children, they are probably his life and if you tell him you can't deal with the children you will probably lose your boyfriend. it might be hard but you have dealt 5 years so you need to make a decision because the children aren't going any where.
2006-10-24 22:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋