My daughter is four years old and she will be getting a sibling next year. We will be telling her in a few weeks time, but a worry for me is that she may ask how it will get out of my belly... or how it got in! Help! If she asks, what should I say? I don't want to lie but will the truth scare or confuse her? What would you recommend?
2006-10-24 21:51:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
just give it to her straight. not frills, bells and whistles, answer reasonable questions, and then tell her that you have told her everything, and although you realise she doesn't understand everything, when she is older she will. know that when you do this though, she will tell her friends what you tell her.... as you are giving her special knowledge she will want to share.
i say this, because children have an amazing capacity to take things at face value with out fully comprehending the full meaning. the meaning arrives over time, but because the information is already there, they just accept it with out getting worried about it... it becomes just another fact of life that they now understand.
my own experience is that my parents told me i was adopted when i was 5 years old. at the time i just accepted it with out understanding what it meant really, beyond the fact that my parents weren't my real parents. but i didn't really get what that meant. over time, the depth of meaning arrived, but as the information was already there, it didn't concern me. today, i know that they often say with difficult subjects don't hold back when the questions come... give the answers and don't make a fuss. close the conversation if the questions get silly.
another idea, if you don't what to get too involved with a discussion. take her to a stud farm or something so she can see the various stages from mating through to birth. say to her this is how babies of this animal are made. all different types of animals do the same thing to make babies which is why she has a mommy and a daddy just like that animal....
good luck!
2006-10-24 22:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by sofiarose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ANSWER her, tell her the truth. You will go to the hospital the doctor will be there to help you take the baby out...Sounds to me as if you're telling her (or she has been led to beleive) that the baby is in your stomach, which is not true. The baby could NEVER survive in the stomach because of the acid. The baby is in a body part known as the uterus or womb, there is an "opening" to the uterus/womb that will get larger when it is time for the baby to come out, the doctor will be there to help the baby come out and to make sure the baby is healthy. Period end of sentence. Try using the correct terminology because if she ever goes to preschool, or a classmate in kindergarten gets a new sibling their teachers will be using the correct terminology. The baby is in the womb/uterus which is inside the abdomen not the stomach which happens to be inside the abdomen as well.
2006-10-25 05:01:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a pretty straight foward person. My daughter was 3 years old whenever I become pregnant with her sister. I told her about all she could handle at 3 years old, and left the rest for her to figure out, and if she wanted to ask me anything, I answered her honestly. Granted: she never did ask me how the baby got there and things like that, lucky me, I guess. But, anyhooooooooooooo I let her go into the delivery room with my husband, mom, and sister. She stood there, in complete amazement! She was a very mature 3 year old , and I knew that she could handle it well. She was able to watch everything, and I wanted her to because I didn't want her to feel like she was being replaced or pushed to the side. She was a part of everything. Its up to you to decide what your child is ready for. Some people didn't agree with me letting her go in with me, but I did it because I knew her and I knew she would be fine. We are on girl number 3, now, and she chose to go to school instead of being in the delivery room this time. SO, there ya go. Best of luck to you!!!!
2006-10-25 05:00:02 · answer #3 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through this two years ago when my son was 4. I didn't tell him how his brother got there in detail. We told him that women are like chickens they have eggs inside them which they sometimes have to push out, but that women don't push their eggs out everyday like chickens. The egg grows into a baby. We showed him pictures of an egg, embryos and fetuses. He also went with me to my ultrasounds. He knew it would be a painful process but that everything would be okay at the end and the pain would also eventually go away. He saw his brother grow and looked forward to the day he would get his "new toy" baby brother. He bosses his brother around and it annoys me, but he does love him and when people ask if they can take him or his brother home he always says no way.
2006-10-25 07:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The simple honest truth. There are children's books out there just for this . You don 't need to go into detail just honesty the more questions she asks the better she is dealing with it .. if she goes quite for too long then I would be a bit worried.
congrats and don't worry it will be fine children are awesome at adapting she might even be really excited.
2006-10-25 05:50:01 · answer #5 · answered by mum 2 Cameron and Ewan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her daddy put a seed in the special place in mommies where babies grow and that it will come out the special door just made for that, then show her a picture of a full term fetus. my grandson kept asking how the baby was coming out and thought the belly button would open up until I finally told him the truth.
2006-10-25 04:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kind of an egghead and would probably tell her the truth but in a way that she can grasp the concept. Maybe there's a book designed for this situation. Contact your kids' pediatrician and ask them.
2006-10-25 05:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by viewAskew 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell the truth but you keep it simple. Explain clearly, and according to your family values and everything will be fine. She will be such a great helper for you at her age! Congrats!
2006-10-25 07:39:28 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should explain in a language a mother only can tell. books are there you can find easily.
Don't worry she wont get scared. but she will keep asking anyway later.
2006-10-25 05:24:58 · answer #9 · answered by Rammohan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ah congratulations on your new baby!well kust tell ur daughter shes gonna be getting a new baby brother or sister and that she will have to look after him or her cause she will be their big sister!if she asks how the baby got their i dont realy know dunno if you believe in god but if u do u can say god put it their!
or just say ill tell you when your older ,just tell her now its a gift!cause i know u said u dont want to lie to your daighter!
anyway i wish u the best in the birth and hopefully a fine healthy baby!
take care X
2006-10-25 05:04:04 · answer #10 · answered by bekcie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋