her fiance was only 16 when they met over the internet. now my friend asked me to be her maid of honour. i really do not believe in this marriage because growing up with her, ive seen the phases she goes through and she was always falling in puppy love. do i open my mouth and tell her my true feelings, this will change everything in our relationship cos im ruining her "happiness" or just go with it and let her make a huge mistake
2006-10-24 21:47:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Chances are good that nothing you will say can change her mind. So I would only gently ask if she is sure about this, and if you know him drop subtle hints about his negative qualities (i.e. he is immature ("I could never marry someone so immature, but I guess maybe Im just uptight."). You can also ask her questions that force her to think about the reality of getting married..where are you going to live? what about college? Tell her youre happy for her, but also stress that you could never do it because you are so young and want to experience life before you tie yourself down. You cannot change her mind for her, but you can create doubt in her mind that may make her change her mind for herself. Of course this is sneaky and manipulative, so if you dont want to do it, then yes you have to let her make the huge mistake and stay friends because otherwise you say your peice, she still makes the same huge mistake, without you.
2006-10-25 02:11:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to live her own life and make her own mistakes. As a friend, support her. Be her maid of honor. It won't hurt anything since she can't married until he's 18 anyway, so they're looking at a long engagement. Chances are the engagement will dissolve before that point anyway. If so, you've been a wonderfully supportive friend. If it turns into the real deal, though, then you've been a wonderfully supportive friend who has to buy a dress.
2006-10-25 02:48:57 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A true friend would tell her that she really needs to think things through and make an informed decision. It is great that she thinks she is in love with this guy, but what if it is just puppy love?? If they are getting married in a church, chances are they will have to go through a series of marriage sessions with a priest...if you still don't agree with her decision, then I wouldn't be in the wedding. Being in the wedding would mean that you support your friend's decision, and you obviously don't...good luck!
2006-10-25 04:11:25 · answer #3 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her no matter how you think she will react. If she is a true friend she will listen. Tell her you want to share a concern with her to think about. She will end up doing what she thinks is right in the end even if she doesn't heed you advice you will have told her. I did not try hard enough when my best friend got married and now she is going through a nasty divorce.
2006-10-25 02:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by CGS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is real close to u and listens to u and trust u the most then u should go ahead and tell her the things she is not clear about and u r. But b careful in using the words, try not to hurt her feelings for u and disclose ur views. I hope this will not change ur relations. All the best.
2006-10-24 21:59:40 · answer #5 · answered by Believer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, you should talk to your friend before anything happens. search for datas stating the legality of underage marriage to support your concern. but you should also be prepared for her reaction. be a good friend and stick by her side no matter what happens because that's what good friends do. and if she still stands by her choice, there's not much you can do but pray for her happiness. bear in mind that people make mistakes to learn from them. and there's no need to say "i told you so" when the worst occurs.
2006-10-24 23:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by girliegirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship has been going on for longer than, say, six months, then who are you to say that they aren't actually "feeling" this one for real? Try to be happy for her if she honestly seems happy herself. I think we both know that if things don't work out, they can always get a divorce.
2006-10-24 21:58:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her and just say your concerned but you will support her no matter what. If she really wants to get married she will do it no matter what you tell her and you will have lost a friend if your too harsh. Good luck!
2006-10-24 21:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
u should tell her your opinion about this whole marriage thing.u can start it with like "i dont mean to hurt u but i think..".she's your friend,i believe u don't want to see she ruin her own life.and u should ask her too about wut she feels about this marriage thing.if she is really your friend then she will understand that u r just want her to be happy for the rest of her life.
2006-10-24 21:57:29 · answer #9 · answered by **Orange** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a firend and tell her how you feel about everything!!!
2006-10-25 08:27:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋