Sleeping with your students?

Question

I've just seen the advert for a new Channel 5 show which shows five people and their 'issues'. One has 'sleep with one of your students' as his issue.
A while back I fell out with a friend who was a university lecturer who slept with a student. Even though the student was not studying anything the lecturer taught I found it a real abuse of power.
Was my anger justified?

Answer 1

They have that rule for a reason... apart from it making things difficult (whether the relationship is good or sour), there are so many ethical considerations

conflict, abuse, power, advantage - all words that come to mind even if the feelings are genuine.

At the very least - a teacher could be accused of favouring the student or having an effect on another teacher to benefit the student

students are generally younger adults and teenagers, easily swayed by 'sophisticated', confident teachers with charms. Even a crush feels like heart breaking love to them...

The teacher is generally the mature adult (except when Ive taught pensioners) and its the right thing to do - act responsible and teach a flirting student that t is inappropriate, don't spend time alone with that student if there is any emotional attachment ( pity or lust.. they get complicated)

If the feelings are real, they will survive until graduation.. if they don't, it was never meant to be a lasting thing anyway

As a friend you could have reminded him of all of this.. made your point and stood back a while... without knowing all the facts, its hard to say your friend is suddenly a child abuser... he did wrong, but hopefully learned not to repeat it

Answer 2

No, I don't think it was. There are circumstances whereby there would be a conflict of interest or a potential abuse of power, but in my view this only applies where there is a direct professional relationship between the two people, such as doctor and patient, or lecturer and a student taught by or graded by that lecturer. We don't say that doctors can't sleep with someone who is another doctor's patient, only their own. We don't insist that traffic cops only date non-drivers, therefore I don't see how a lecturer dating a student who isn't in their class is an abuse of power. However any such relationship should really be declared to the university authorities so as to avoid any future conflict of interest (even if it's only exam invigilation).

Answer 3

It's hard to say without more details, and as usual everyone's jumping in to be judgmental and condemn someone they don't know, about something which they have very few details of. Was it a one off? How did your friend feel about it afterwards? Are they now in a relationship? Sh*t happens sometimes, people get attracted to each other whether they want to or not, and a few beers, anything can happen (and does!) between consenting adults. There may be an abuse of power here, it's very hard to tell, from the info you've given, but there may just be normal healthy human interaction going on as well. many people end up sleeping with people from work, or forming relationships, getting married to colleagues etc., this may be no different. Did you feel angry simply because it happened, or because you know your friend, and know what (s)he is like. Was it an abuse of power, or was it just sex? Sorry, more questions than answers, but maybe the answer lies in some of those questions. Nothing's black and white after all!

Answer 4

I think its a difficult topic when it comes to university students. Its not against the law, although maybe against protocols within the establishment. If the student is not studying anything that particular lecturer was studying, and they are of an age where they can make their own decisions, then in one sense, I think that perhaps its just unfortunate that they go to the same university. The question is, if they met outside of those circumstances would the same thing have happened? If the answer is yes, then I don't see it as an abuse of power.

Answer 5

if they are consenting adults then who cares. I hate the assumption that the teachjer has some kind of magical power over the student. Like the mere smell of his power would make his female students weak at the knees. It patronises the students. They are adults and know exactly what they are doing . So i do think you over reacted. Obviously there are circumstances where a student may be maninpulated or forced into it which i do not agree with and the situation is not ideal. But if it was consenting then i think you have a duty as a frind to stick by someone even if they have done something morally dubious that what frindships meant to be about

Answer 6

everyone who claims it s abuse hasn't ever been a 15 year old boy. Come on! human beings have gone nuts with all this pc crappolla. If a thirty 5 year old woman had taken an interest in me even as i became fifteen and gently schooled me contained in the artwork of love i'd continuously be in her debt. particularly than suffering yet another 2 years of sexual frustration till eventually i might want to finally fumble my way into bedding a lady my age. It s like the blind most excellent the blind. i imagine the human beings who so up in hands about this are repressed hysterical or Asexual themselves. it is a ludicrous age. Oh and that i don t ideas if it s a male instructor and a lady student both. some everyone is waiting earlier to others. enable s save criminalizing all difficulty-free human drives. That way some old bag out in Iowa who apparently this finished society runs round will not in any respect have her gentle sensibilities indignant! playstation : I understand the flair for abuse of capacity, and that a number of those women everyone is disturbed, yet often times it s an act of selfless charity. awful Puritan u . s . a .!

Answer 7

The thing is that something like 50% of people find their partner at work and what is a University but your place of work. And lets face it at university everybody is over 18 and is a adult so I don't see anything wrong with having such a relationship although it may be a conflict of interest, I think you made a mistake by letting it destroy a friendship. Might be time to get back in contact?

Answer 8

Since they didn't meet as a result of his teaching her, I don't think he really did anything wrong. I am assuming that she was over 18. It may be in bad taste, but I'm not sure it is an abuse of power since she actually held the power over him. His job would be in danger probably and she had nothing to gain by sleeping with him.

Answer 9

It's only an abuse of power if the person is the direct student of the professor.

Answer 10

Yes your anger was justified, its an abuse of power to take advantage of your students to satisfy your own needs, those type should be chucked out of their job never to return, its sick.