Have you ever felt like you might be better off dead?

Question

...I mean noone in my life has truely ever loved me. I was married, he ran off with a 14 year old girl, my mom never loved me nor my father, they got divorced and disputed over where the hell id go and how neither of them wanted me. Dated a guy who bought his ex a car,was building them a home and did nothing but talk about her all night long, every guy I ever have got with has quit his job and I always pay the bills...I bought my own home and some guy moved in in and I thought it was love but he quit his job, I wked two and before I knew it, I was supporting him...noone has ever loved me...

all I get a hold of are guys who use me and now I am alone and I feel like I dont even matter...

cold cold thanks for the advice, I try to be picky really picky but its hard! I'm not a good judge of character....

s.blue person, I will try to find better people to hang around but thats part of the problem, I dont really hang out anywhere. All I have is my daughter and shes only 13...shes never really known her dad. Guess thats a blessing. He left early in her life.

Lizzomail, yea, your right on the family part, my mom could not have made it any clearer she did'nt want me around, I realize now thats proably why I feel so useless and not worth anything and well my dad beat me from the time I can rem. to 3 yrs old....not to give a sob sob story....I've had a pretty rough time and when I look at my daughter, I know they did'nt love me, they should have given me to a foster home or something.....

Lizzomail, yea, your right on the family part, my mom could not have made it any clearer she did'nt want me around, I realize now thats proably why I feel so useless and not worth anything and well my dad beat me from the time I can rem. to 3 yrs old....not to give a sob sob story....I've had a pretty rough time and when I look at my daughter, I know they did'nt love me, they should have given me to a foster home or something.....

Lizzomail, yea, your right on the family part, my mom could not have made it any clearer she did'nt want me around, I realize now thats proably why I feel so useless and not worth anything and well my dad beat me from the time I can rem. to 3 yrs old....not to give a sob sob story....I've had a pretty rough time and when I look at my daughter, I know they did'nt love me, they should have given me to a foster home or something.....

I did just accidently submit that 3 times...sorry!

That would be nice to be someones world, last guy I dated seem to have that w/his exwife, no guy has ever bought me a car or even really paid rent, not even when I was married...

datcreekg....I will take you up on that...I need friends. Its hard realizeing you have a problem like I am starting to see. I do have a daughter and no man is worth it...one man I met in church molested her at 4 and so you see the story does get worse! not like I havent tried to get out there and try but where do you go when ever opp. has been a let down in one way or another. I beleive I feel like I was'nt good enough and I maybe have been digging at the bottom of the bucket so to say but then at my age 33, its hard to met anything but what everyone else has dished out and dont want....? I may have waited to long...scared and all thats left are the bad apples? I have started praying more about it and asking God, begging GOD REALLY, to stop these people from entering in my life. I have been fed so many lies just to see someone else, like my neighbor, have a loving careing husband? I knoe I have been doing something wrong.....

...thing ... I did mean a person...I just read that.

jd, you may be right?

Cathy, how did you know I stopped going? Thats odd....

Gooddog, sounds like you may feel like crap too sometimes, I'm really trying to kick it, REALLY...I gained alittle weight though in this depression and I've never been overweight, I was always the pretty one but I just see myself falling apart...everyday when I look at the mirror....

DROP DEAD FRED, where have you been ...lol cute name, I proably need Drop Dead Fred IN MY LIFE TO WEED OUT THESE MEN, but unfort. your plan did not wk in the past....noone knows what a women is anymore just like I'm suppose to wear the pants b/c I'm a readymade family type thing I guess and the guy was like, well, I dont have it, I have a ticket and a truck payment, what did you do before you met me....thats what I get....no clothes, no go get your hair done, just plan right out assholes!

Frank, thanks for the lovely advice, you seem to know me...scary...lol ... kidding! it was uplifting information....

Gallow, lets see, what makes me happy is listining to music and that day I was so low, I could not even think about it...I did it yesterday and I do feel alittle better....Tobymac and skillet...uplifting.

gujar, your answer didnt really help me, sorry...I dont even know if I'm crying out for help or if I am trying to ask a question...thanks for your time and input though.

Casey, I agree with the parent input, its like after my mom left my dad, I was dead...they both did it, acted like I did'nt even matter and I think thats why I married an abuser, I thought I was worthless...I did'nt matter.

Confussie, I dunno about that, I mean, I know that my daughter would be left with a deep emotional scar for life if I did act on my wishes to just die....its kindof hard to love someone staring back at you in the mirror, thats getting old and tired of the games that people play. Only if my parents had cared if at all they did ? things would I beleive, in my heart knowing too, would be different.

Answer 1

sweetheart,i would like to officially welcome you to the co-dependents club. in simple terms..your rents never loved you..so you keep subconciously finding these self absorbed user type of guys and putting them in your rents place.. only this time you jst know you can make them love you...the way the rents didn't and prove that u are indeed worhty and capable of being loved.
BULLS****!!!!!!!......and i don't say that lightly, trust me cause i have to keep reminding myself.. You are worthy of love-period. You are also capable of getting it. The thing is this..there are too many takers and users in the world..and sometimes people you find that just simply take advantage of you.. you turn around and he wasn't that way at all w' the other woman..here's th diff' if you think about it...Would she have put up w' it?... NO! and that's why she didn't put up w' it..you catching on/..cause it took me a while to really "get it"..i knew it..just didn't get it.
Don't be afraid a new relationship, but take some time to figure out now exactly who you really are and what you want from a man.. then don't settle when it comes to the important stuff. A guy may not make a fortune, he may be a bad joke teller or he may not be your "ideal" looks wise, but if he supports and loves you, takes ur love for what it is and appreciates it and gives in return..thats a real man..dn't settle for anymore fakes!
A lil tip.. don't tell a guy that you have been used and run over in the past... this will get you nothing and nowhere.. and you just may be setting yourself up for more of the same w' him. Leave that baggage behind you..don't drag it into a new thing. then sit back, enjoy the new relationship, knowing that you can truly just enjoy it..cause if he starts acting like an A** he will be warned and then sent to the curb... no more wasting your time on people who don't deserve you. If a guy has to drag you down to feel as if he can keep you around.. do you really want to be with him, better yet, do you still really think that YOUR the one who isn't up to snuff? Here's a lil som. i'm fond of now... though it's crude maybe, it helps me..feel free to use them if you find yourself in another sit. "Looks like with all thats hanging.. i wouldn't be the only one w' a set o ba**s around here" or "One day i hope to have a relatiomship w' a real man"..Trust me they will get the picture loud and clear and either way you won't have to deal w' the crap anymore!

Answer 2

You show too much independence and I think that you should get some backbone. Men are not to be trusted and every woman knows that. I know that I would never wish to be dead over some guy because while I am dead he would just come to my funeral if he could attend in the first place. Shed some tears if any at all or for real and move on with his life. His life will go on but mine would be a memory. Don't ever make any one determine how you feel about your life. You have been in a lot of bad relationships I must agree but you should learn from them. Everyone makes mistakes and these men who has passed through your life doesn't know your value probably because you don't appreciate your self. Also you think that you have to take care of everyone but you shouldn't subject yourself to unambitious losers. The next time that you get into a relationship make it clear of your rules and don't break them. You know now what you are not looking for in a guy so don't make the same mistakes over and over. Law down your law and make it legal girl you know what I mean...

Answer 3

Sounds like you had a run of rotten people in your life. I won't comment on your parents as I don't know the ins and outsbut they were probably too distraught at the time.

You could draw strength from your hardships, saying yes, I've had it bad but I live on.
When it comes to partners, set your rules. Don't be afraid of confrontation if you need to. The moment something is against what you want, say so and stick to your guns.
That last man, are you still together? Why did he quit? Tell him you can't afford to support him, its your house at the end of the day, yours are the rules.

Take a martial arts class, it really helps keep your head up, if nothing else.

Feel free to drop a line if you want to talk about anything else! ^_~

Answer 4

First of all, from the way you describe the guys you've been with in the past, I think that being alone is a blessing in disguise.
Secondly, you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. Put your loveless childhood and your parents behind you and surround yourself with positive people who appreciate you for who you are.
And finally, start looking for a life partner in places where you will actually find people of a certain quality / mindset. Volunteer, take a class, join a sports club, etc.
Remember that to the world you are just someone, but to someone out there, you'll be the world.

Answer 5

Its ok, Life has alot of bad turns and good too. There is always someone to take care. maybe you need to wait a little. I am sure someone who really cares will grab you. you need to judge a people before accepting them, get used feeling so bad i know how does it feel but dont go off. there are hell surprises in life, just stop expecting from life yes i did this , and when you see any unexpected thing happend it will be great surprise for you..

Dont worry. Time is solution on every problem.

Have a fabolous life

kaustubh

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear about all the crap that has happened to you. You are not alone to feel the way you do. Tons of people out there feel like nothing will ever be worth a crap. Hopefully things will start to change for the better for you real soon. I sure hope so anyway.

Answer 7

I haven't been in your position before and I can't say I know how you feel becuase I would be lying. All I can say is nothing is worth killing yourself over. I'm not saying your tring to commit suicide or nothing I'm just saying. Life comes at you hard and fast. Just try to live one day at a time and just remember that even though things look ruff right now, ther is someone out there that would love to be with you. just ride out the hard times and cruise through the good times.

Answer 8

Well, who hasn't felt that way? We all have hardships from our pasts as well. But, really, don't things seem to get better from day to day? Stop worrying about men so much, and concentrate on being the best YOU you can be. You'll attract a better class of people when you feel good about yourself. Good luck to you. Let us know how everything works out for ya. We YA'ers care!

Answer 9

I think everything happens for a reason.

I'm not an avid believer in the higher power. That is not to say that I don't believe in it at all. Still, I sometimes think that things that happen to you happen to only you in the way it happened because you are the only one who can deal with it. People in our lives are the same. People in your life come into your life in the way they did because it is you. People keep learning and growing from our experiences. To make them into good or bad lessons are up to each of us.

I know you are very strong for going through everything you went through. Don't give up your life.

Answer 10

First you need to look at where are are meeting these guys. Then you need to change the locks on your house and never let anyone else move in with you. Then you need to buy a puppy, they love you no matter what.

then you need to start going to church. GOD loves you. Now and forever.

Sometimes we have to get to a point that we realize that are parents were how ever they were and we as adults need to move on. If they are not good for us then we need to not have them in our lives.

You talk about the men in your life. are they are any woman that are friends with you. ?