How can I stop my son 7 and daughter 5 fighting like cat and dog?

Question

From the minute they get up to the minute they go to sleep they fight. They can't do anything together without arguing about it. It's not too bad in the summer when they can go out and play but on rainy days it's dreadful. I'm at my witts end.

Answer 1

Everyone argues. Thats human nature. But constantly? in your home? Lay the rules down girl! Sounds like they're strong willed and stubborn so best thing to do, stop all priveliges ie no sweets, crisps, pudding, fave prog on tv, no playstation etc. Write the rules down on big piece of board and put it in the kitchen [explain what it is and read the rules out to them] you only need 3 or 4 rules, make sure they're good ones tho. For the one who starts it send them to bed for 10 mins to cool down, or even the bottom of the stairs. Sit them down, with tv off, tell them this is what you are going to do, let them know you will not tolerate their behaviour no longer. The odd row let them have but stop it the minute it gets too much or out of hand. Realise they are different people who want different things, do you know who usually starts it? Do they want what the other has got? Or do they just not get on? That might be a life thing I'm afraid. But they need to have respect for the other and for you too. I've been there with 3 daughters so I know how you feel and I eventualy sorted it but they still have the odd row now and they are mothers themselves. Good luck to you and get your man to back you up, not to take the kids side.

Answer 2

Apart from praying for a sunny day, the best
thing to do is to separate them when they DO fight.
That means, putting the boy in one room and your little
girl in another.
You have to tell them WHY you are separating them and the duration of the separation.
Make sure you close the doors so they cannot scream at each other.

Another way to look at this is to try and get them involved with
playing the same games/toys or activities.
You have to make their time together fun, stimulating and interesting.
Get involved yourself. ie, that means, playing the games with them(if time permits- you may need to make some time)
Be the referee if you have to - in case they do fight.
When/if they fight - separate them.

Cats and dogs can eventually get on but it takes practice and I do think it would be much easier with your own children.

Borrow some good "Child behaviour" Books from your local library. The "Supernanny" has a good book out - read up and educate yourself how to deal with this problem better.

I am sure there is a solution. They may still fight, but you may be able to get a handle on it and deal with it more constructively.

good luck!

Answer 3

I would suggest several things:

On the discipline side:
Put your thumb on them earlier rather than later. Don't let them blow up. Give them the words to work out the conflict rather than going at it. This involves a lot of modeling... Couldn't you have said... Make them repeat it after you. It will get old, but keep it up. It really does work eventually.

On the fun side:
Make sure that both of your kids some fun time one on one with you and your spouse. I take them camping individually sometimes as well as canoeing, etc. During that time Mom has special time with the other child. When they get back together after that they are both recharged and happier to see each other.

On the education side:
My wife does devotion each day individually with the girls. She also reads a lot of moral stories to them. They get to hear appropriate behavior modeled in the stories. Also, reading thru proverbs with them in 30 days is awesome. You just do a chapter a day and discuss it as you go. My kids really got a lot out of it. They are 5 and 7 as well.

Answer 4

My sister and I used to fight all the time. It was mainly her fighting with me!!! I am the older brother 5 years difference and had always been told to look after my little sister and that what I did.
She always resented the fact that I was older and put in charge of her and she used to think that she was very grown up!!!
She fought with me for authority, We are very close and I think that the fighting taught us that. They will grow out of it eventually when they are 18-25 ish.

Try telling your son that boys never hit girls and he has to look after and protect his sister and try telling your sister that girls dont fight with thier brothers.

Giving them both some responsibility may work!!

Answer 5

just keep them apart if they cant play together nicely they will soon get bored of playing on there own,i no that the weather is misserable at the moment but wrap them up warm an stick some wellies on their feet an send them out to playing they will love the muddy puddles.they wont always fight with each other trust me i use to fight with my bro all the time but we get on so well now.i couldnt live with out my bro

Answer 6

Be firm, be fair, and be consistent. Children need boundaries and there has to be some sort of consequence for constant fighting. If it happens every now and again I would say it is normal but this sound like you need to set some very firm and clear boundaries. Good luck.

Answer 7

well I used to get beaten by my older bro all the time,my mum just used to completely ignore us,or grab our hair & crack our heads together,just like jinz said,evil sod.it didnt stop us fighting just made me hate her.they fight because they have issues,try & get them to say why,if its petty name calling then make up some rules about no name calling or they loose a favourite toy for a week.remember all siblings fight,but have some ground rules,no hitting each other.I have 3 sons & they are always arguing about something,its life.

Answer 8

This is a tough one. They disrespect one another and your son hates the fact that he's no longer the only one getting the attention. So...I would end up opting for Gingertod's option.
But Im no parent so, Dont take my suggestion seriously.......All the best though!!!

Answer 9

Stop son and daughter fighting , let them fight, let them know each other ,let them solve the problem,
As parent you part is watched them make sure there is know heavy body contact ,

Answer 10

don't really know, i have the same problem with my daughter 10 and my son 13. luckily they are at the age now when they just want to do there stuff but it doesn't stop them fighting.