How do I handle my 7 yrs old girl not to tell lies?

Question

She has been keep telling lies n give excuses of what she has done. Tried explaining n punished her but still no use. pls help.

Answer 1

You won't like it but here is my suggestion, or maybe I'll state what we do in our family. Your right by noticing that lying is BAD, many parents think is a stage, or even cute. Lying is no stage my girls (ages 3,7, and 10) have gone through. Lying destroys the bond of trust between parent and child and should be a MAJOR NO NO.

In our home lying is always met with a spanking, granted this is done when there old enough (over the age of 5) to know the difference between truth and lie. OK when I say spanking I am not talking about 1 or 2 love tabs on the bottom. I am talking about taking her to her room, pulling down her pants, putting her over your lap and giving her about 12 -14 good sharp spanks to the bottom. If you really want this to stop, be consistent in doing this, she will understand that the punishment out weighs the crime. This sounds harsh but the results are amazing, my oldest tried lying only a few times in her life, my 7 year old only once, one year ago.

One way to help make this work is to always be open to the truth, even if they are coming and confessing a misdeed, don't punish as long as they came forth.

Answer 2

Tell her there are consequences to lying and that lying is hurtful. Then out of the blue turn the tables on her when she asks if she can do something, have something or go somewhere. Tell her the answer she wants then when the time comes say no. When the asks and cries why or that you promised explain that you lied and stick to your no. And explain again that lies hurt and that's an example. And that since she lies the consequence is that you thought she was lying when she asked for whatever it was. Also read her stories like the Boy who Cried Wolf. This should eventually change her ways.

Answer 3

Here's what I did - it's devious, but works well! You need to start tricking and lying to her - in these types of instances that she will get really disappointed. Let's say you are out shopping or something with her in the car and you are coming up to lunch time and you know she has a fave food or fast food place. Say you are going to take her there - then drive past and don't. She's bound to ask you why not, and you just say, Oh, I was just lying. Say there's a toy she likes, promise to buy it, then don't - same reaction. After doing a few things like this, sit down and have another talk with her about how she felt after you lied, and she will get it - believe me.

Answer 4

Lying is a tough habit to break, because JUST punishing for lying can teach a couple of different things. First, if she's lying to get your attention (negative or positive), then she's definitely got it when you catch her. Second, if she knows that she's going to be punished for lying, she may well resort to "better" lies.....just so she doesn't get caught.

You need to talk to her first, and explain that lying is wrong and will not be tolerated. Reinforce the fact that no one LIKES nor TRUSTS a liar and she doesn't want to be labeled as such. Children at that age are very concerned about what others think of them--particularly their friends. Remind her that though she may get away with the lie for a while, the truth ALWAYS eventually comes out. Also, tell her that the consequences for lying will be more severe than for telling the truth. (Sometimes if they "come clean" on something that they've done, etc., it's best to thank them for telling the truth and just letting it go at that. Other times, the act still NEEDS to be addressed and consequences followed through on. I always tell my kids, however, that telling the truth will always earn less severe consequences.) Let her know ahead of time what the consequences will be for lying and stick to them. A child at that age does not need to be spanked. They have "things" that are important to them that they can be grounded from for a reasonable period of time. For all kids, that "thing" is different. It can be television, phone, computer, friends, etc. It should NOT be something that they NEED, however. (For example, my second child "needs" outdoor time daily. I never ever take away his outdoor time, but will restrict it.......no bicycle for a week, no hunting, maybe even make him do his homework outside, but no other enjoyable outdoor activity, etc.)

Sometimes, taking something of importance away is frustrating, because they just don't care, but you'll find something that will strike a nerve that will be effective. One thing that I've found to be effective in this case is to tell them that they need to "clean up their act," and then give them an extra "cleaning" chore.....their bedroom, section of the basement, their bathroom, the yard, etc.. This works extremely well for the child who "doesn't care." When the chore is done, ask her WHY she was made to do the chore and reinforce again that lying is wrong and won't be tolerated. Then, praise her for a job well done and let it go.

When "punishing" children for what they have done "wrong," we also have to be ever so careful to catch them doing something "right" and praise them for that as well. Eventually, they learn that doing good earns praise and positive attention, and doing wrong earns negative consequences and negative attention. Always always follow up after a consequence has been dealt with a discussion about why they were punished and then leave it alone. Have the CHILD explain why she was punished, then offer your "two-cents," and let her know that you love her......despite her actions. Also, the consequence should always "suit the crime."

One final suggestion: "writing assignments" can work wonders too. One day when I working, my kids had a babysitter. They also had a friend over. For some unknown reason, they lied to the babysitter about what they were planning to do, and decided to play on the road. My boss just so happened to drive by my house and see them and let me know. I was LIVID! I sent them to their rooms and made them write letters: 1) an apology letter to the babysitter for lying, 2) an apology letter to their friend for inviting him to do something that wasn't safe and wasn't permitted, 3) an apology letter to the friend's mom, and 4) (this was the one that REALLY got them) a THANK YOU letter to my boss for telling on them. They were made to stay in their bedroom until I was satisfied that they had really given thought to their actions judging from the content of their letters. I spell checked them, and checked them for grammar and content, and made them re-write them if I wasn't satisified. It took them each about four attempts to finally get the thank you letter appropriate. Afterwards, I took them to hand-deliver the letters. We talked about the incident again and then dropped it. They've NEVER done anything like that since and it really made an impression on them.

Answer 5

Set boundrys and consequences and make sure that she knows about them. If she crosses a boundray, such as lying, then 100% consequence. I remember getting cinnamon oil on my lips by a prank from a friend in school, about 6th grade. I still rememeber how hot that was 35+ years later. That would make an impression... one that she wouldn't want to experience more than once.

Answer 6

How are you punishing her? Is she looking for the attention from you by telling lies. Sometimes when children think they need to get you to notice them they act out by doing something bad.

Answer 7

My dad, God rest his soul, taught me decades ago, that if you lie, you have to have an impeccable memory, because not only do you have to remember the lie you told, but to be successful, you have to remember the lies you told in order to cover the lie you started with, and that goes on and on and on and on . . .. And my dad knew how much I hated to memorize the multiplication tables (and never could), so he taught me that telling the truth eliminated the need to memorize so much. As usual, that was the best explanation I could get, thank my ever so loving father who died in March of last year. Maybe that will appeal to your daughter too, in addition to all the more moral and Christian reasons why not to lie, or what that does to peoples' image of the liar. God Bless you and your daughter. And God Bless my dad.

Answer 8

do not get indignant at me, i'm in basic terms going to be straightforward because you sound a twin of me even as i became youthful and that i wanted someone to be straightforward with me. It did not experience good at first yet i'm grateful for it now because now I see what an immature, egocentric fool i became: What does that say about you in case you'll nonetheless want to go away your baby such as her if she became as undesirable as you describe? Sorry, yet take it from and fool who has been on your same shoes. i'm in basic terms being straightforward because even as i became youthful i became also in denial about my shortcomings and it became a lot less complicated to crucify somebody else than to artwork on my own personality flaws. i'm not saying your sister in regulation doesn't have some subject matters, yet come on, do you want her that badly to toddler sit down and help you such as your wedding ceremony and bathe? She's making excuses now to not watch your toddler? hi? She's a drama queen? She's jealous? It sounds like you've been utilising her and he or she is drained of it. someone had to be this straightforward with me quicker or later in my existence and that i ultimately grew up. i'm hoping you're taking this suggestion with grace and understand that usually we ought to seem at ourselves when we commence specializing in different peoples flaws too a lot. it in a lot of situations seems that it is your own self with the flaw, not the different human being. good luck.

Answer 9

try this. each time she tells the truth put a jelly bean, marble penny, ect....any small object will work in a jar. when the jar is full permit her to go to the store and pick out a suprise....or go do something fun with her. a movie ect...super nanny has so mant great ideas :)

Answer 10

Well, how are you punishing her? If she knows that she can tell you the truth without you lashing out, she'd be more inclined to do so. However, if she knows that she has to dodge your fists if she does something wrong, she'll lie.