Its been nearly 4 months and I still can't face it!
2006-10-24 20:32:31 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Being a man, I might not fully understand your apprehensions and thoughts. We had our child 6 months back and I saw a similar situation in my home. At this stage I have a 2-point strategy to get you over this difficult stage:
Step 1: Discuss this with your partner. Men unfortunately absorb only as much as they are told. Very scarcely do they delve beyond the spoken word. Hence your silence may have an entirely different connotation to him. It'll be twice more difficult to get him back once he strays off.
Step 2: Set the right expectations between the two of you. For instance; "lets flirt but not expect full-fledged-steamy-session" until both are willing and comfortable. I can vouch from 1st hand experience that this works wonders.
As long as you are mentally prepared (and allowed) to dis-engage anytime, you'll play along - a wee bit more each time...and finally all the way at some point.
We got firing on all cylinders within 3 weeks of trying this technique. ALL THE BEST.
2006-10-24 23:45:28 · answer #1 · answered by cucumber_cool 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
About a week after giving birth, i felt so horny all the way through my pregnancy and just after giving birth! Dont be scared i had an episiotomy and stitches and they were a little sore the first time but they were fine after a few weeks!
You need to plan a romantic evening and have a few drinks, relax and then some magic might happen! Get a sitter for the night so there are no distractions.
Good Luck xxx
2006-10-24 23:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by x Danielle x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say wait 6 wks, this is for your body to heal itself inside and get back to normal with the hormones etc. Go and talk to the nurses who looked after you during pregnancy, if you can. You don't say what your birth or labour was like. If it was a bad one it may be fear of getting pregnant again thats putting you off. Talk to your bloke, explain how you feel to him, start with the kissing and groping first and take it from there. Stop when you feel you've gone far enough or carry on if those sexy feelings come back! Go at your own pace but don't just say no to your bloke, explain how you feel to him. Don't forget, he helped make the baby but he didn't give birth so doesn't know how you felt about it. Relax a little, enjoy the baby, enjoy your man and the feelings will come back. I've been thru it 3 times and always got there in the end. Good luck!
2006-10-24 21:02:21 · answer #3 · answered by PATRICIA L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I tried at about 3 months and then again each month for a while but didn't begin enjoying it again until after a year. It was hard for me to have sex again because I had 4th degree tears and I was very tense. It was more psychological than physical after a few months obviously because I had healed but doing some research I found many women who felt the same way. Also, all my energy was going towards my baby and I didn't desire sex for a long while.
2006-10-24 20:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by Precious 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after 10 weeks or 2 months and half.
I had an episiotomy, the area still numb and there still pain. It will be difficult at first but after a while it will be okay. Sometimes it is psychologically, a trauma when you gave birth..Just go on and keep on trying and everything will be okay..
Having a baby also sometimes lose the libido or the interest of having sex because of the energy you are giving to your baby.
2006-10-24 20:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by just me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I waited till my baby was about 3 or 4 months. I waited this long mainly because I had stitches and was petrified that it was going to hurt me (and I was right!!) plus I was just too tired to even think about sex. I also bleed for nearly 8 weeks after I had the baby. It was hard for my husband, but after biting his head a couple of times he stopped asking me and said to let him know when I was ready.
8 months on we are back to normal now in the bedroom!
2006-10-24 21:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by chelle0980 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After my first child it was three weeks, after my second five days.
With my first I was a bit scared, with my second I was really hot for my man, but I made him use a condom at first I can't explain why. Four months is a long time for your mate to go without sex, try to examine yourself, I understand you are probably tired, full of hormones and added responsibility but you had your relationship with your mate first and sex is a great way to give him the affection that he needs. If you can't pin point what it is stopping you from intimacy ask your gyny for a referral to someone to talk to.
2006-10-24 20:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by Sara 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Right after the 6 week check up! 4 Months is a long time, Take is slowly but there is nothing to be scared of!
2006-10-24 20:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by Lupee 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't thumbs down this it's true and also valid:
My mate and his missus had twins. 1 year later she still wouldn't put out for some internal mind issue that men will never understand.
He went out and started getting it somewhere else, massage parlours at first, then dogging and meeting swingers.
My point being, make sure you talk about it to your partner, explain how you feel and all that liberal crap or you may be on the receiving end of a nasty surprise in the future.
2006-10-24 20:42:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
hi there, mines been 4 years, since i have my 2 children iv gone off sex..... not sure why. maybe because i suffer with aniexty. You may suffer with alittle postnal depression but you are not aware of it. when you have kids that is all you can think about especially at a very young age. maybe that has something to do with it. do not panic though its very normal your sex drive will come back eventually dont rush it or worry about it. as it will take longer. hope this helps
2006-10-24 22:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by chicken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋