" i need some space, lets have a break" but deep inside you know you can still sort things out and you dont want it that way. Whats the best words you can say to make hm/her change mind?
2006-10-24 19:35:26 · 20 answers · asked by Lo Carla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Kinda vague, but I think you were talking about a break in the relationship and not just a break in a discussion.
Say: "But these other guys keep asking me out and I want to know where I really stand with you... if your just stringing me along, then I can feel alright being with other guys... but if your serious, then I can wait..." and optionally "but you know how guys are... I tell them no and a week later they are still asking me out again !"
it may also be that you have tried to force a rose to bloom... but only ended up with a prick on your hands...
when only one has a sense of urgency, its usually only pressure on the other side.
It may also be that the other person is going thru a growth period and really only desires space... He has lived his entire life without you around and having a new attachment with a sense of permanancy may really be freaking him out... let him know he can always go back to the insufficiant life that brought him to you in the first place.
BTW... if he is JUST talking about a break in a discussion, it could be that he feels his point of view just isn't soaking in yet and he's giving you more time so that you can both be on the same page... (this is the only time I've asked for space and the reason why... turns out my dear sweet little miss motormouth couldn't really listen and talk very well).
Best wishes...
2006-10-24 20:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jesus H. Zeitgeist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way of changing there mind, sounds like they have found someone else. But you might try saying, I think this is a good idea because I ran into an old friend the other day and they asked me out. You know make something up.
2006-10-24 19:50:37 · answer #2 · answered by brian76db 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no words. If you take action to change this other person's mind, and they go along with you just to please you, that's codependency and you do not want a relationship based on codependency. Give the space, and take the space at the same time, for yourself. You might discover that you don't want this other person so close in your life; you might discover that you do; they might discover the same things. You can't control what another person wants, no matter how much you want it. If they give in, they're only going to build up internalized hostility toward you 'cuz they'll feel like they gave in and gave up their own self.
2006-10-24 19:41:35 · answer #3 · answered by pair-a-docs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing that can change his/her mind. Sometimes taking a breather isn't all that bad. It's like getting tired of work. You can't convince an employee to skip vacation if their mind is already sipping Mai Tais in Hawaii. Same thing w/ relationships. If he/she needs space, he/she needs space. They will just resent you if you don't respect their wish. Coz sometimes their just looking for the easiest thing to say to break up with someone.
2006-10-24 19:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say " distance makes the heart grow fonder", take a break. You might be surprised at how you can clear your mind and get focused on how to improve your relationship when you do get back together. Plus the first time you have sex after being apart is the most awesome you will ever have.
2006-10-24 19:39:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is known as the "ease out line" in player-speak
it is what a person says who is done with you--has moved on in their thoughts to other ........things-- and wants to let you down in a way that leaves the door ....partially open (just in case things don't work out as currently planned)
Move on-- this person is playing you
really doesn't matter what you feel "deep down"--all that is-- is YOUR wishes telling you that YOU don't want this to happen-- BUT guess what-- one person's feelings doesn't make a relationship-----Move on-----
2006-10-24 19:53:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant ever change someones mind just because you want them to. have a break usually means break up - prepare your self for this incase it happens. Good luck and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea.
2006-10-24 19:37:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"i need some space" means "i want to date someone else, but i want the option to come back in case this new thing doesn't work." i see this happen a ton of times to friends of mone. he either works it out with you or you break up and find a guy that is worthy of you! :-)
2006-10-24 19:40:21 · answer #8 · answered by ca belle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just gota respect his wishes hun - I know you may not want to go down this road but you cant force someone to change their mind. Why dont you just say - ok - if its what you really want - althought Id prefer us to stay together and work through this as a couple - but if you're not willing to try that - then let me know when you're ready to talk
And let them go - its hard - but hopefully he'll see sense. xx
2006-10-24 21:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best off just to say goodbye, because once they fall out of love with you, your left holding the bag and they will keep hurting you as long as you keep trying to get close.
-NmD!
2006-10-24 19:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋