Why is it so hard to find someone to love you if you aren't O.C. material?

Question

I mean why is so hard to find some who can love you for something, I dunno, real? I mean why do you have to conform to these standards about attitude, physical appearence, money and wealth, etc. Why can't people love someone for their smile, their sense of humor, their kindness, or something else? Am I just old fasioned or just don't get it. I may not be (whoever the hell the main guy from O.C. is) but I know I;m one of the most interesting and sweet guys some girls have met. Yet it seems only these 'perfect' people ever find someone to meet their own shallow standards. I won't lie, looks and public image matter alittle, don't want someone who can't present themself. But shouldn't people at least try and look a little deeper?

Answer 1

Ok, I'll tell you why.

Whens the last time you were walking down the street and saw a ugly chick and thought to yourself, I ought to get to know her, she might have a great personality! Ya, exactly, never.

The only way people go out with each other is by getting to know one another, b/c once you get to know someone, looks don't really matter.

However, you're never going to get any girl if you sit at home feeling sorry for yourself, talk about putting the wrong foot forward!

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, I'm not O.C. material either (most folks aren't!) but I don't get bitter just because i don't have guys chasing me all the time. Its when you find the right guy/ girl that it matters! And when you find them, they won't care what you look like b/c they'll like you for WHO you are, not what you look like.

Answer 2

Let's see...where did I put my violin...? C'mon, Mikey...geesh..stop watching television. Or, at least, stop believing that you are viewing real life. The girls you seem to be running into, or to whom you are currently attracted, are not sure what they want right now. So, move on. Girls that have a lot of attention heaped on them tend to be emotionally insecure. They don't know what they want so the look for what they think they should want. They tend to want a guy that's simply arm-candy. Check out some the ones that aren't being paid attention to. There are some real gems in that crowd. Understand, however, that they don't tend to resemble the OC babes, but you're looking for quality anyway, aren't you? What a pity it would be for you to end up with the OC-babe that turns into a selfish, self-absorbed, ego-centric 40-year old loser someday.

Answer 3

Ok Michael as I answered your prior question it is ok to know what you want. This has nothing to do with surface stuff. I know what I want and I can support myself very well thank you. Of course it is the connection it is also you being your own personal companion, appreciating your own time, being healthy in your own graces. My best relationships were nothing I was looking for. They just happened casually like could you help me with the door I am carrying a big load. Then we just talked and later became friends, to best friends to more. I was content, I wanted to be around and with him because I appreciated him not to fill a void in me. Sometimes people look for that and ALWAYS get dissappointed. It does help to know where you stand. Don't settle...because the little things in the long run will be big things and only can cause big friction. Try the suggestions in my prior answer.

Answer 4

OMG I love it!! :D lol! Actually, my made up naruto character that I have always had in my head is somewhat a paranormal lover as well XD hehe. She sounds pretty awesome! Does she like to meditate and speak to the spirits? or dream of them? Hmm... Does she hear the voices of the spirits constantly? That would probably be a good reason as to why she would be ''insane'' to others. lol. A name? Im not too sure... Kaiya is something I really llike. But i forgot what it means... -__- lol. Just google jap names and their meanings! :) As for match making.. Its really up to you. Im personally a big fan of Gaara and Neji <3 lmao. Gaara because if the girl could see supernatural beings (if she could see demons that would be kickass too) then im pretty sure she wont be afriad of Gaara, or how he acts. Neji, he's really a calm, meditative, contemplating-about-life type of guy... so a different dose (your character) would intrigue him. His perception of things will change greatly once he gets to know her. idk. :) Is your Naruto OC a mary sue? NO! I've heard way worse. lol. Your's perfect! Just make sure to write the story with very neat grammar and punctuation....that always gets to me. .I would love to read your story when you start writing it!!!! Email me or whatever and tell me where you'll post it! :D P.S: If she could use/ summon/ see/ or talk to shikigami's and shinigamis, that would be epic as well... lol.

Answer 5

I think most people do.It is just hard to find real love and most (younger/high school/ college kids) look for appearance instead of personality. It takes time for things to change. Enjoy life while you can. Don't stress about girls.

I know that it just sucks being rejected by someone who you really like. What is your situation exactly, the question was rather vague.

Answer 6

I tottally agree with you to many people think wealth and goodlooks are more important this is a world wide lie .I am afraid there is no immediate solution it is getting worse not better BUT the one thing I will say is that there is someone perfect for you out there you just have to keep searching .Noone is perfect but there is that someone perfect for you learn the difference and use it to your benefit.

Answer 7

you see, looks and public image matter a lot (or at least a considerable amount) even if you are not shallow. it is how we naturally pick mates.

I guessing from the oc reference you are still in high school.
high school is often the most barbaric petri dish of human behavior. Inordinate shallowness sometimes is prevalent in high school.

do the best you can for now and be patient for when your out of high school and your peers are more mature

Answer 8

honey, if i were looking deeper at anything that moves i wouldn't have time to live my life. people won't look any deeper in u if u don't cause any interest in them. so how can u ewoke interest in people? yes, if u re a smart boy u would answer the same - money and appearance. if a guy is rich and looks good he already has some interest level, so many women would want to look deeper. but if a guy is poor loser and ugly one who would want to waste time on him? when there re so many nice looking decent successful guys around?

Answer 9

I think you'll have to met a lot more people who can understand you more... don't go on self-pity too much! that's a great turn-off. Just explore and date a lot... maybe then you could find someone. It's never too late!

Answer 10

you say at the end that looks and public image matter. It sounds like you want to date girls that are out of your league but they don't want to date you. try to date girls that are equal to or lesser than your attractiveness. there are lots of desperate and unattractive women that will look deep into your soul. don't be a hypacrite.