Ok, I have a problem with "being a man" and asking girls out. My question is should I take more iniative and ask a girl out? I am quite a shy guy when talking with girls, I can talk for short periods of time before I freak out, in my head, and like start shaking lightly, and cant remember wat to say. I have the problem often, but I can talk to them if there my friends, which seems weird to me.
Am I weird cuz of that?
I feel so in adequate cuz of my inability to attain a girlfriend, and is kinda downing me. I seek a companion, yet I seem to over-analyze girls and kinda distance my self from them If i think they wont be a suitable girlfriend for me. Should i just forget that, and get past some of there character flaws and take a chance?
2006-10-24 19:02:31 · 8 answers · asked by B-Rock 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly, you need to go out, and talk to every single female that you see. I don't care if they look like Shamue the whale. See how certain things go when you talk about something. Being able to carry a conversation is a must if you want to meet women and it boosts your confidence.
2006-10-24 19:05:36 · answer #1 · answered by bloodsanctum 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's normal to be afraid of rejection. But it shouldn't stop you from happiness. If your shyness has kept you single for tooo long then you should start trying a new technique.
First off stop looking for a companion. Relate to a woman on a personal level and dont try to impress her. Just be yourself, talk about whatevers on your mind even if it's nothing interesting. You won't come across macho and egostical. Uggghh. If she's struggling to come up with things to say she probably likes you too. If you're boring her she'll just leave.
You should be confident around her. This might be hard if you get the shakes. So what makes you feel like you're on top of the world? Anything at all? Sports? Fashion? What is it that you rock at that makes you beam? Do that. Do ALOT of that and then go beam. You'll be so excited with your 'score' that you won't be thinking about getting rejected.
It can be hard if your friends are coaxing you to go up to a woman. You don't want to get rejected in front of witnesses! So when you are alone (probably not in your local scene) and not much in the mood for finding a companion, stroll up to a woman and compliment her. Smile at her and be courteous. We like that. Show interest. Ask her for her number. If she says no, walk away. No big deal. By the way, when we say no, we don't laugh behind your backs and go tell our friends (and those who do are childish morons that you're too good for). We're just following our intuition, no offense to you.
It is good that you can talk to women for short periods of time (some men can't even do that much). But, right before you start to freak out offer her your number. She might be hoping you will! Chances are if she hasn't mentioned her boyfriend, crazy ex or excused herself she wouldn't mind getting to know you.
Besides when your heart is pumping before you start to freak out, you will get some kind of a rush when you give her your number!
Women are just as nervous about approaching men as they are about us. Men who approach women are sexy by default. It takes courage to face rejection and most women appreciate that. Your interest not only shows us that we are attractive but that you have that fearless quality (even if it is feigned). Just present yourself nicely and be considerate.
And stop judging people. Everybody has flaws including you. Unless the flaw goes against something you believe in, then it should be overlooked. Nobody is perfect. No relationship will ever be. Some things take compromise and it makes you a better person.
If you're still nervous, try approaching someone you're not head over heels for first and see how you deal with the outcome. Tweak your method. Then move onto bigger fish.
Good Luck
2006-10-24 19:41:09 · answer #2 · answered by hersheysparkles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not weird. You're a normal person who's afraid of rejection or of making a mistake.
Ultimately what it comes down to though is that every person has character flaws, and until you really get to know a person, you won't know if those flaws matter or not. Don't jump into a relationship, as there's nothing wrong with becoming friends with the person first, which should alleviate some of your discomfort around the girl, but do get to know girls even if you don't think that they are "the one." All good relationships are based on friendship.
When you do decide to ask the girl out, practice first. Either practice in front of the mirror, or with one of your friends. Obviously it may not go exactly as you planned it, but it should take the worst of the nervousness away. Good Luck!
2006-10-24 19:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa P 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dude, I was you years ago. No confidence. It's not the women. Make them laugh. I say the first thing that pops into my head. Is the body in good shape? If not, get to a gym. The gym is a great place to meet women. Forget the ones with with the sourface and the earphones though. What do you like to do? Look for women at places engaging in stuff you like to do. Instant conversation. Practice. Yes, I said practice. Don't make up a bunch of cheesy lines. Be able to hold a witty discussion. And, stop looking for a girlfriend. Just treat em like guys at first. If you are alway looking for a girlfriend you put such a weight on your chest. Note that every guy gets turned down. Like everything in life, use your failures to learn from and better yourself. Most of those guys you see with women started off being as socially inept as the rest of us. Ask one-one you know to be a decent sort.
2006-10-24 19:34:00 · answer #4 · answered by ontopofoldsmokie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, duhhhh, you should take more intiative. It's very hard but think about it. What do you have to lose? Self Image? Forget about it! Just don't look like an asss or perv
Take a chance! Get more social. Makeover!!! New clothes that are hip, stylish and make you feel pretty. Try making new friends first. Become a guy girls would want. Keep your shyness, it's your thing, but talk to people too, in a shy way!
A pretty safe way of asking a girl you like is to talk to her friends. If they like you, they'll totally hook you up.
2006-10-24 19:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by fancy unicorn 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why bother?
You might be able to get past some of your flaws, but the women won't.
2006-10-24 19:06:40 · answer #6 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel, im in the state of mind
2006-10-24 19:23:21 · answer #7 · answered by Joho 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like ya should be trying boys.
2006-10-24 19:06:04 · answer #8 · answered by a_bike_guy 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋