i need advise please?

Question

im doing like what someone said and posting again but i dont go to school im kinda illegally dropped out till november then i turn 16 and in january im going to a bootcamp for 5 months and they said stay out of school till then so i dont have a teacher to ask and as family my grandma knows its going on and thinks her son can do no wrong and dad's brother lives with her and is the same way and grandpa was that way so she doesnt think its bad and all the family knows and family friends know and wont do anything about it really they say call the cops and year before last i told a teacher about it and made a police report and i dont know what the cops did after that but ive made 3 police reports for it and i dont want to call protective services because i have a 7yr old sister i dont want to get seperated from her shes like my life

Answer 1

First off, good job in trying to get your life back on track (from what you said in the previous post). It's very impressive that all this crap is happening to you but you are still trying to stop your issues and turn it around. That's very admirable.

Ok, first off i want to point out that while it would be a very awesome thing if you could stay with your sister, between the two evils i belive that being seperated from you but out of that house would by far better than staying in a house with horrible role models as you have described your parents as. Not that you shouldn't try or that you should give up, i'm just saying that if it comes down to those choices i would hope you would pick that later. You yourself already know the negative side-effects that can occur from being in such and unstable enviroment. If you feel that you or your sister is in immediate danger (i.e. that your parents might purposely or accidently kill you or your sister or hurt either of you) you need to tell the police immediatly, even if they didn't believe you so much before. If you aren't in any immediate threat, you should call a hotline for abused children, like the ones mentioned previously. You need to worry about you and your sister and no one else at the moment (within reason). It is possilbe that you might be seperated from your sister from a time, but she would most likely be with a better foster family or something, and then also when you turn 18 you can file for custody from her. You could also use that time where you don't have to take care of a child to have things settle down for yourself you know? One thing i was thinking you could do, is to tape the house when it is in a messed time, like if the house is a wreck, or tape the weed and stuff your parents are doing, but be careful cause if your parents find out they could be mad. The only reason i'm even suggesting that you do this is so that you can have phsyical proof of your allegations and then the police and stuff will not be able to just ignore you. You might want to hide the camera somewhere your parents won't look, but once agian this might not be a safe plan. Are there any adults that you do trust, and aunt or uncle, a priest, a friends parent or somethign that you can tell? I would suggest going to see a priest (even if you aren't of that religion) and seeking help from them. They wil listen to you and will try to get you the help you need, and will unlikely just ignore you but rather belive you. I am sorry, i really don't know what else to say on this topic, i'm not really well informed on it. For help with cutting there are alot of tips out there to look at and such. I posted a reply to a question on self harm recently, heres the link http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmAWWDbNWxiXjut1QVV3_Rvsy6IX?qid=20061023185153AA6vjW8
it has some tips on quitting and stuff like that if you care to take a look. I would suggest checking out recoveryourlife.com for help with cutting, they have a large number of members who all have the same problem, with members trying to stop and those trying to keep from going back. It's a sight where they want to help and that don't glorify it, so there is less of a chance of you getting "triggered" into cutting. You should give it a try. I'm sorry, i don't know what much else to say. If you ever want to talk, about any of this, you can reach me at [e-mail] , i'll just listen or give advice (if i can) or whatever. Whatever happens i hope things look up for you and that this all works out in the end. Best of luck

-sarah

Answer 2

Brad,
You have not stated the problem too clearly. If you are not due back in boot camp till January, that gives you a bit of time. Take some of the advise given here. There are a lot of organizations set up to help teens in trouble or with problems that can help without necessarily going to the Police or Social Services. That being said, if the problem is criminal in nature, abuse, or otherwise, most responsible counselors are going to steer you towards the proper authorities, so take a bit of time, find someone you trust a bit, and let them know the facts. If the problem really requires police or other intervention, do not automatically resist this. Depending on the problem, you might be making the best choice for yourself and your sister in the long run.

Answer 3

Brad
I am skeptical that any boot camp told you to stay out of school if you are under 16. Your situation sounds overwhelming so try to focus on one thing at a time you can do to make things better. If you can get back in school - do it. There is a big chunk of the day you can get support and be out of the house. Also, if you are leaving next year, do you really want to leave your sister in this situation. Here in Missouri, the Child Protection people try to get families to solve their problems. The only time children are removed from their families long-term is when their parents can't get their act together. Sometimes a Hotline call gets their attention and they make changes. Even though your parents are not supportive, you are old enough to know the right things to do. This is often hard when things are tough, but you can do better for yourself. Each day is a new one, try to do those things you know are right, even if they are hard.

Answer 4

Brad, you can still stop by the school and talk to a counselor. Do that. Or a pastor at a church, their cool and down with that. They won't turn you away. There is a reason your in this predicament though so now is the time to turn your life around so you don't lose your sister. Accept the fact that you'll go through the bootcamp (court ordered I imagine) and pay your dues. Be positive or it will only get worse. In life if you want to play, you have to pay. Be strong, at least strong enough to look for help.
Good luck. You can do it. Get help from someone who cares. Many do.

Answer 5

OK Brad, I too came from such a family suah as yours(many years ago) , I understand you not wanting to be away from your sister, at this point in your life she is all you have, but it's up to you to protect her, you are all she has too. Please call CPS explain to them that it would be a mental disaster for you and your sister to be apart until you go into boot camp, many foster homes except siblings and will more than likley except you back after your bootcamp, you can't just go to bootcamp and leave a 7 year old in that mess, it's up to you to get her out and make sure shes safe while your away. The easiest way for that to happen is for you both to be placed in foster care BEFORE you go to camp, this way your sister can adjust with you at her side and feel safe while you are gone. pls feel free to e-mail me if you just want to talk or need help....

Answer 6

Brad, I don't know if you received my email, had trouble with the computer. I completely understand what you are trying to say. You have no choice but to go to bootcamp,it is probably court ordered. Don't cut on yourself anymore. If your sister is your life than stop for her. You are all she has. If you want me to contact CPS here in my state for you, I will talk to them about the problem and see if they can contact CPS in your area. If you want that, send me an email and I will talk to someone here and send you their name and phone number. I do volunteer work and know some of these people. They are really nice people....

Answer 7

I kind of have an idea.. Call CPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I see that something is going on. Drinking?? Drugs? Abuse?? I can see that you are scared, thats why you cant really say to much.. Dont be scared.. There are people that do care. Contact the school that your sister goes to. Talk to the office. You can also contact the county about what is going on. WHAT EVER IS GOING ON, YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

I don't know if I fully understand. You don't want to go away to bootcamp & have to leave your sister? Try to write this again & use some periods. I seriously would love to give you advice but this run-on doesn't make sense.

Answer 9

Hello- I don't know exactly what you are trying to say, but I have an idea. Try the Y.M.C.A. and talk to someone there.Abuse counselling will help. Please look in the phone book,there are many places that you can get the help you need. Doctors, nurses,support people are all there to help you. Please do not stop asking for help,there is help for you.If you can, do not stay with the people who are hurting you.How about your church,do you have one,if so go there for help.You are not alone!! My prayers are with you! Take Care!

Answer 10

i don't understand what the problem is, either.. . is a family member hurting your little sister?