I have a boyfriend who was my old roommate once.We didn't go out while roomsharing but I felt him as he felt me so we started to go out after he left 4 months ago.
My bf has a ex-gf who had been together for 4 years until right before we go out who still loves him and want to get back with him. I've met her once when she came to visit him while we're roomsharing.she's very very inntelligent (math teacher) and have a lot in common with him than me.
She calles him once a week and trys him to think about me as a intentional girl who just using him. He explain why he still gets in touch with her is because she calls him and he can't be mean to her nor ignore her call though she upsets him talking about me.
He says he won't believe what she says about me but neither he will ignore her call. it'd never happen to not to talk to her.
I always feel like have to explain myself to wipe out what his ex painted on his mind and feel so tired for it.
Any opinion will be granted. Thank you.
2006-10-24 16:41:34 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He wants to have his ex as "a friend" which can't be happen for his ex because what she wants is being his gf and not friend. He know it too but he doesn't want to ignore her so prefer to deal with it which make me feel awful. I don't want to be ultimate to make him choose one or another but neither know how to deal with the best.
I love him so much and really don't want to break up but this happenings make me devastated which I told him but all he says is if what his ex says isn't true,I shouldn't be upset.
I made him promise to not to tell me what she said about me because I dont want to be hurt by her but he always tell me because he needed to explain why he's so upset when I called hime which right after talked to her. He basically soothe down by telling me what happened(means what she said over phone) .
2006-10-24 17:02:23 · update #1
I wouldn't trust him. If he respected you and your feelings, he would understand that talking to her is hurtful to you and makes you feel insecure. They have a long history together and apparently he is not ready to let it go. If they do not have any kids together, there is no strong reason for him to be talking to her so much. The fact that she is talking negatively about you should make it obvious to him that she is trying to tear the two of you apart. I would tell him that you cannot be in a relationship with him until he is truly free and ready to move on from his past. He has not worked through this, which is why he is still holding on to his relationship with her. I think you are only going to get hurt by staying with him.
I had a similar experience, and he went back to his ex-wife.
2006-10-24 16:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just behave as your normal self and not be too hung up on his behaviour when he's not with you, because you cannot be watching and controlling his behaviour 24/7. Let him see your confidence in your relationship with him.
If you have doubts about him, then you are not ready to be committed yet. Give yourselves more time to get to know each other better and learn to accept each other's weaknesses. If that cannot be achieved, then you are not suited for each other!
2006-10-24 23:54:10 · answer #2 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Organise a time to meet her, or just plainly pull her aside and tell her straight "Move on with your sad life, I have him now, stop hanging around because it will never happen"
She wont call again, if she tries to start anything, get those claws out and fight for your man!
2006-10-24 23:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he wants your relationship to further,, then he needs to take a break from the Ex..to give your relationship a chance..
2006-10-24 23:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by kitkatish1962 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think its time that your bloke stopped having contact with his ex
i would lay it on the line and tell him enoughs enough if he has any respect for yours and his relationship and future he will go with your wishes if not he´s not as committed to your relationship as he should be
2006-10-24 23:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont want to start throwing ultimatums around like "its her or me mister!" but at the same time you need to get across how you feel, and how it's making you feel about the relationship. be as honest as you can without being bitchy and angry. try to stay calm, if he refuses to budge, then perhaps you need to start reevaluating the relationship.
2006-10-24 23:49:17 · answer #6 · answered by Ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Much too confusing...Are you certain what your question is, as it is not very clear. You seem to jump from you to the girlfriend to the boyfriend and back to you with not a lot of explanation. Sorry!
2006-10-24 23:46:45 · answer #7 · answered by WhiteChocolate 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u really love him ignore the fact that she is tell something about u to your BF, but be cautious, always talk to your BF about what they talked. Discuss her, and get to know why he is not with her and with you.
2006-10-25 00:05:51 · answer #8 · answered by !i!i!i!FaRnAzA!i!i!i!i 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will go back to her in time, dont trust him cause if he wanted you he would let her go...he is in other words telling you deal with it she is still a big part of his life and he is not willing to let her go...move on..you will be hurt in the end..good luck tho.
2006-10-24 23:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by countryrose24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO JUST TELL HIM THAT YOU DONT APPRECIATE
THIS FROM HIM IT ABOUT RESPECT, AND SINCE THEY
ARE NOT TOGETHER THEN HE NEED TO LET HER KNOW]THAT YOU ARE HIS GIRL AND THAT SHE NEED TO STOP
CALLING HIM, BUT IF HE FEEL THAT NOTHING WRONG WITH'THIS THEN IT TIME TO GET A NEW BOYFRIEND.
2006-10-24 23:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋