im a 19 year old momy of a 3 year old and a 8 month old!!!?

Question

I know its kinda too young to start having kids, but thats what i decided to do with my life. I love my babes and they are the world to me, but just a few days ago i heard a comment when i was at the grocery store about me looking too young to be a mom, at the time i just reacted with a duh! i am, so what? but when i got home i kinda could not stop thinking about it. maybe it did hurt me.

Answer 1

I had both of my children under 19, and I just ignore the comments and stares, people are sometimes jealous that you are so young and lucky to have a child when they are trying and are older and could never successfully have children. I go to resturants and always gets stares, do I care? No I don't I'm such a great mom and I know that, you should know that too. It's hard to go to playplaces and have older woman with their images of what a mom should look like. Who cares? I know so much about being a mom and I'm put here on this earth to be there for my two angels, most people think you should wait, but I couldn't starting my perfect family is all I needed. Forget the stares, just remind yourself that you are such a great mom and you made the great decision of having your child young, until waiting till you got older so the children could have more risks. You made the perfect decision by having kids young, My neighbor is 38 and just had another baby a 2 year old and a newborn, I'll be 38 when my son is 20, and when her child will be having kids if they have them as late as she did she will be what??? 76!!! pay back is a laugh. I'll be living a perfect life enjoying my children, while she will be in a nursing home...hehe Life is perfect huh... send me an e-mail at [e-mail]

Answer 2

I'm a married, mature, 20 year old with an 8 month old daughter. Unfortunately, I look younger than I really am (that will only work to my advantage once I reach age 30+ lol, thank god for SOME genes). Sometimes people give me weird looks, especially since I have two piercings in my lip and my ears are stretched (all done before I became a mom). But I just shrug it off. You know why? It's hard enough to be a mom, always questioning and judging yourself over whether or not you're good enough or doing the right thing, or being "perfect" enough to not mess up your baby's childhood. Most women are just as insecure as we are as mothers. And as everyone knows, girls can't always play nice, and we like to attack each other every now and then to make ourselves feel better.
Who cares what other women say or think , only you know what is right for you and your family, and whether or not your childrens' needs are being met. So what, maybe you are "too young to be a mom", but you ARE a mom, and that's that. What's important is how good of a mom you are and how well your intentions are. And I'm sure you're doing just fine, don't let what other b*tches say behind your back bother you. Just keep living your life!

Answer 3

What hurt you is your reaction. You are a better person that that. Next time just smile and say Thank You, I hope the same holds true when I am 50. They will be the ones left thinking. People do tend to talk amongst themselves about other people's business, and they should do it more discreetly if they feel they must do it at all. I will tell you that I sometimes see young girls and think the same thing, but it's not a hurtful thought, it's me feeling sorry that they missed out on years you can never get back. I was 23 when I had my son and I love him dearly, but I wish I had waited a few more years.
Since you're sharing and seeking opinions, might I suggest you get some birth control? It's great that you love your babies, but 19 is young in this day to be tied down with 2 children and unless you are independently wealthy, it costs us all a lot to raise them. Are you married? Hubby supporting the family? Having one at 16 is one thing, but if you have no job, or are not able to support them without public assistance (me being the public) then you really should try to avoid getting pregnant again.
BTW - missting is right, there is no question.

Answer 4

I'm almost 28 and have 4 kids. I started at 20 and had them all close together. I get criticized all the time. I also look really young. (I just went back to college and had someone guess me at 20 last week!) I got so many of "those looks" when I was pregnant. Especially when I was pregnant with my second. I retained water the last couple of months and wasn't able to wear my wedding ring. One time (preg. with 2nd) I was at the grocery store and had my 17 month old son with me. Some rude old lady came up to me with a sickening look on her face and asked me how old I was and that I was way too young to be having kids. (I was about 22?) I told her I was 16 just for her reaction! Don't worry about what other people think about you. As long as you love your babies (like you said) and take good care of them, it doesn't matter, and it's nobody else's business, how old you are! With age comes experience, but being young also gives you the advantages only young mothers can have... more energy, more "in tune" with kids' lifestyles, and I think more adaptable to parenting.
Good luck and have fun with those cute little ones!

Answer 5

I'm 20 with an 11 month old, but honestly i look 16. I get crap all the time. I even had an elderly lady come up to me spit at my feet and tell me I was a disgrace to women and I should have kept my legs closed in high school. I laughed and told her I was married and 20. My child was born well after high school. It really shouldnt bother you though. You said you love bein a mom and thats what counts. Its a gift and a miracle and some people just don't understand sometimes people can be mature even if they are younger. I say shake it off. People are ignorant. They just are. And you sound like a geat mom so keep your head up and love those kids enough to ignore those ignorant people!!! : )

Answer 6

Sometimes people say things without thinking. I'm 21 with two babies, and I get the looks once in a while too. Next time say excuse me? Am I judging you? Don't you have any manners? Good lord, at my age I'm a better mom than alot of 30 and 40 year olds having kids. It doesn't make a difference how old you are, it's how much you love your kids and how well you take care of them. You were the better person in that situation and don't let anyone tell you that you're too young.

Answer 7

Well I guess it is ok as long as you really love him and he really loves you. You better make sure he really does before you go any farther. Also if you were married and divorced that means you haven't known him long. Just don't jump into something that you are not ready for. Some people just want to get married and like the feeling and so they don't really think it through. You knew you ex for 4 years and didn't know who he really was so take some time to get to know this one. Also I am a single parents and his daughter does not need a friend she needs a parental figure (not mom but yeah) so I say back off on that too. You can have fun and not be her friend.

Answer 8

I'm almost 25, and I have a 12 month old daughter. I look young for my age...I'll probably get carded until I'm 35. Most people think I'm about 18. I had a lot of people make comments to me about being too young to be a mom. It's even worse when I go out with my husband, daughter, and our niece, because she looks like my husband a little. People just assume she's mine (and she's 10, so I would've had her at 14). Then we get really weird looks. I just laugh it off though. Even if I really was a teenage mom, it's none of anyone else's business. I'm glad you're happy with your kids and a life of motherhood. Don't worry about what other people think.

Answer 9

Can anyone keep their personal comment to themselves.

You are probably a little hurt by the comment: but dont be, if your a good mother thats the only thing that matters. If you provide for your children, make sure that their well fed with healthy foods: then your a good mother, thats all that matters

People think that if your older you'll make better choices when it comes to children, the fact is that you get your knowledge from being around people who have kids themselves, age has little to do with raising a child the proper way.


Push it out your mind, and strive to do the best and make the best choices for you and your little ones.

Answer 10

I am 19 and have a 3 week old but I look like I am only 16. I am married but still get the "look" like I am some stupid teenage mom who got knocked up. I don't care what people think, becuse all I am thinking about is my baby and how much I love him. Just don't listen to what other people have to say if they can't say anything nice they shouldn't be saying anything- some people may even be jealous of you since you have kids and some people can't!
I feel like I was treated like crap in the hospital because I was so young( the nurses would take forever to come, they never got my husband bedding, they would forget about getting me stuff, and they said they would be right back.... 3 hours later there they were).

Don't let it hurt you, just love your kids like no other, cherish this time with them!!!