Okay, so I have a boyfriend who I love being around, but there's this guy at work that told me that he would ask me out if I wasn't with my boyfriend. I really like this guy as a friend and nothing more. I told my boyfriend about him and he said that it's not wrong for me to keep talking to him as long as I don't think it's wrong. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, but I still like talking to this guy. He always tells me that I'm beautiful and awesome all the time. I feel really guilty and I don't know what I should do. Any feedback is great...
2006-10-24 16:07:39 · 17 answers · asked by alifox40 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Make sure that your friend at work knows that your friendship is purely platonic! Nothing more! And you could ask him to stop complimenting you so much if it's making you uncomfortable in a way that makes you feel like you're being unfaithful. I mean, its not like it's your fault that he's being so nice to you but you don't have to listen to it if you don't want him to. If the guy continues to pursue you and doesn't respect the fact that you have a boyfriend, cut off your friendship because it he really liked you as a person...then he wouldn't care if you had a boyfriend. make sense?
2006-10-24 16:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by kate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have any other feelings for this guy besides friendship, like you say, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. Especially, since you did the right thing and told your boyfriend about him. Maybe you should explain to this guy thought, that although you like being his friend you don't feel that him complimenting you all the time is appropriate since you have a boyfriend. You may not get him to stop though, it seems that he may like you. But, as long as he knows that you are not available you have nothing to worry about. If it helps, maybe you could introduce the two guys together. That way, maybe all three of you could be friends. It can be done, if you are all mature enough to handle it. Best of luck!
2006-10-24 23:17:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a male perspective, I can tell you with certainty this guy want to be with you. He isn't interested in "just friends". Especially if he is telling you how beautiful you are and such. If you only like this guy as a friend, tell him to not give the beautiful compliments as it makes you feel guilty or ackward or whatever. Bottom line is you have to say something to him. The best thing would be smash any hope of him being with you, because I promise you that's what he is thinking. Being straight forward with someone isn't easy always, but MUST be done in this situation if you don't things to continue the way they are.
2006-10-24 23:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by cagewalker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to that guy. He is a bad influence on your relationship. He will keep pushing these comments on you until you find him to be a better guy, and if you know hes normally not that nice of a guy then he's playing you. If you do know for a fact that he talks like this normally and is in fact a very nice and pleasant person then he very well may be a better person than your boyfriend. So my advice is to find out some background info on him and make a solid decision from there.
2006-10-24 23:11:11 · answer #4 · answered by mathewhp22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty - healthy adult women and men have healthy adult friendships with members of the opposite sex all the time! Just make sure that this guy realizes that you are in it for friendship and nothing more - give him an idea of what you considers the boundaries of friendship. If he keeps complimenting you, that's fine -- that is what friends do! Just let him know what lines not to cross.
2006-10-24 23:14:03 · answer #5 · answered by coreyander 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience-- like the song says, don't go chasing waterfalls. Hey, whether it's a significant other, material things, etc. If ya keep chasing after the next thing that comes along, you'll be chasing for a long time. If you really enjoy being with your current boyfriend, see where it goes.
2006-10-24 23:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel that things could go further than friends? If the answer is yes, then you should probably end things with this guy before temptation gets the better of you. If you feel like you are strong enough to make sure this goes no further than friends, then you shouldn't feel guilty. If you are unsure, you should probably end it. Go with you gut feeling. Trust your instincts.
2006-10-24 23:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by Jennie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you need to make it clear that this guy that you are interested in him only as a friend. regardless of your status with your boyfriend you just arent interested in him in that way. if you still feel comfortable talking to him go ahead. just make sure that you are clear with him about just being friends. if talking to him makes you feel guilty then you need to ask yourself why it makes you feel that way, if you aren't doing anything wrong then you have no reason to feel guilty. but if you are then maybe you are doing something that you think is wrong and should stop.
2006-10-24 23:10:29 · answer #8 · answered by my101201cutiepie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't chance anything with your boyfriend... I had that happen to me once and I actually broke up with my boyfriend and hung out with the other guy one night.. it ended up as a one night stand and never really heard from him since. Be very careful.
2006-10-24 23:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by ravenmoon76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you make it clear to your friend that you don't like him and you two won't be anything more than that, it should be alright. If he makes any advancements, end it your connections.
2006-10-24 23:10:04 · answer #10 · answered by Melanie P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋