What ways can I help her to understand that since I'm home 24/7 with the baby that the baby needs affection from her as well. Our baby is 13 months old and is getting out of breastfeeding except sometimes when she awakens at night so that's pretty much all she gets from Mom. I fear that our roles have reversed from what is normal socially. I took a hiatus from my job at State Farm to save us money on daycare because for newborns it's like $300 per week. I think she is actually jealous of the way I care for her but I didn't ask to be put in the situation, I'm just making the best of it. What do you do when Mom is jealous of the baby ? It's like she will let her sit on the floor and cry and say, "I'm not going to pick you up. Your father has spoiled you." The kicker is, I don't pick her up often at all and I videotaped my day with her to prove it. I just think she is punishing our baby for the love she gets from me.
2006-10-24 15:48:22 · 10 answers · asked by Kerry c 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
ALL BABIES TRY TO GET US TO PICK THEM UP IS THEY CAN. IT WON'T HURT HER TO CRY FOR A LITTLE WHILE. MOM PROBABLY FEELS BAD ABOUT LEAVING THE BABY TO GO BACK TO WORK. JUST TAKE YOUR TIME AND TALK THIS OUT.
2006-10-24 15:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like mOm is frustrated but as long as she is not hurting her, let the little one have a tantrum. She will outgrow it. I have twins and stay home but my husband gets home an d helps out big time. He was 45 when we had them and has been wantingthenm for laong time. Try to put time aide for the adults and make a date. Get a sitter at least 2 Xs a month. Buyher flowers during the day. Buyher a card. Write her love notes and put in the car.. put the babies hand print n a card and write I love you. Tantrums and you know I am going through that now deserve bed. Sometimes they just want to know they are loved. I can tell when they are tired or when its just lovy time. If it is close to map time. Put em to bed. Let them cry. It is good for their lungs. Just as long as its under 30 min. If it is attn the baby is asking for they do need that too. Sometimes you have to say the hell with what I have to do, becasue that baby is #1..Their needs are more important than laundry, dishes, etc. A little attn (positive) can go a long way. Good luck.. . . I have two 18 months and two teens. I still do not know everything and never will!! There is no perfect arent, that I do know.
2006-10-24 15:58:18 · answer #2 · answered by Susan P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, that's sad for you and the baby.. the baby needs her mom... I would try and maybe have a friend or relative take the baby and babysit for a few hours so you guys can have a date night or something and get out together. Also I would really sit down and talk with your wife about everything you are feeling - it's great that you are so concerned and you are a good man for realizing there is a problem. She needs to know you think there is a problem and hopefully talking about it will help.
If she just wants to spend more time with you maybe you could do a weekly date night or try and make some time to spend with her... or if she wants to spend time with the baby but you are always there maybe she feels like you are hovering or watching ehr like a "mother hen" for lack of a better term - so maybe try to go out to the store or alone somewhere and leave her with your daughter to allow them time to bond...
Good luck and I hope it gets better soon. And BTW I think it is GREAT that you are a SAHD....so many guys are afraid of what people will think but i think its a great way to be a part of your child's life... adn no matter what anyone says it's definitely work - you just don't get paid.
2006-10-24 15:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by Rae T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think perhaps you need to talk to her - find out what her worries/insecurities are - maybe air a few of your own? Communication is the key after-all. Try not to go in on "the attack" as she will just become defensive and it will end in an argument instead of a constructive conversation. Ask her how she feels the arrangement is working and what she would change about it etc. Maybe she can stay at home while you work? Maybe she can change to part-time? Maybe she just feels like she's missing out and doesn't know how to tell you? Only you two know what is going to work for you as a family.
Good luck and i hope it all works out.
2006-10-24 17:09:02 · answer #4 · answered by Smiley One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is jealous of you and of the baby becasue you both get to stay home and enjoy time together. Maybe it's time you went out and worked and let your wife stay home part time at least.
she clearly needs a break and she needs to feel closer to the baby. Maybe some time alone for the two of them? Not time to clean the house or be with you, but time alone to play and have fun. time when mom and baby are well rested, fed, happy.....time when she gets to know what the baby did all day or what the baby did first....
2006-10-24 15:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's normal for the other parent to be jealous fof the primary caregiver. My daughter smiles at my husband and I get a little mad, but it doesn't kill me. You wife can't get out of her work mode and she doesn't have to take care of children at work. The baby cries because she wants mommy's attention, and yes the baby needs it. My husband even though he works 11 hours a day he still comes home and plays with the children, it doesn't mean that she can't to. Just because she gave birth doesn't mean she is done with everything
2006-10-24 15:56:23 · answer #6 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww Congrats on staying at home to raise your baby. :) I'm a sahm and love every minute- I don't really know what to about mom though. I don't think she is jealous of baby but maybe sad that she cannot be the one at home and maybe feels that baby doesn't love her since she's gone. My boyfriend gets upset that he has to leave daily but he spends as much time with us as possible.
2006-10-24 17:05:14 · answer #7 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That is hard. To tell you the truth, I am sure that you will get a lot of women that will tell you that it is the same thing when we stay at home. I bring it up with my husband all the time. He is getting better. He is a little jealous because I get to stay home, but at lease the kids have a parent with them. I would talk to her. Tell her how you feel. She needs to know that you are both parents and that your kids needs both of you.
2006-10-24 15:53:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its awesome to see a stay at home dad!! im glad you get to see the womans point of view, as my husband will be at home with the kids once i grad from law school. you need to sit down and talk to your wife! she needs to know that the baby needs her as much as dad. if that doesnt help i would recomment therapy for the both of you! best wishes and best of luck to you both!
2006-10-24 17:05:12 · answer #9 · answered by mommyof5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
way to go for being a stand up dad, most guys wouldn't take the opportunity to stay home with their kids if it was put right in front of them. good luck with the mother
2006-10-24 15:51:31 · answer #10 · answered by ♥lawrencesgrl0♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋