Im 29 my ex is 27. She lives across the country from me but we were together for 5 months before we moved away from eachother then we stayed together for another 5 months. She broke up with me basically because she lost interest. Living apart was hard. I was too jealous and basically pushed her away. I know thats what I did.. I guess I saw her pulling away and I wanted to do what I could to keep us together. So she ended it. She was and still may be seeing another guy but she text me a few weeks ago to tell me some news. It was the first time in months. I told her I was happy for her and good luck. I havent heard from her since. Should I just leave it alone? When we were together we got along great. I dont want her to think I don't care about her but I dont want to put myself out there to get burned. What doesnt help is that other girls can tell Im messed up about it. My self esteem is shaky. It's been 3months since the break. I still have very few happy days.
2006-10-24 15:43:24 · 28 answers · asked by onthedlyoshi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My situation is currently the same, just out of a breakup not too long ago. I was in a long distance relationship for 4 months, she was 29 I am 26. An extenuating circumstances occurred between the two of us and she ended the relationship. No I wasn't cheating. This is my first breakup where I was the breakee and not the breaker. S**t hurts as hell man, I would not wish it upon anyone if you are truly in love with the person, which was my case. Although my breakup is a lot more recent than yours, I'm choosing to wait it out and move forward. Don't deny yourself the opportunity because the other person won't.
I have 2 other ex-girlfriends that I still remain in contact with and they both cared for me very deeply when I broke-up with them. We're still close friends. The thing is when I broke up with them, I figured the relationship, was and would be going nowhere, so I ended it. I think that must have been the same thing that ended my last relationship although I made an effort to try, I think you always have to.
Right now the best thing to do is figure what you want out of it, and and where you are in terms of feelings. If the wound is still fresh, wait it out. If you want to be friends go for it, but only if the wound will not re-open. The only person that can answer that is yourself.
If you do make contact, see how it goes, feel the vibe and if you really love her and she still really loves you in the same way, then it will work out. Don't push it too much, but just probe it at first.
2006-10-26 18:50:11 · answer #1 · answered by illuminatifire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 20:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You handled this brilliantly by telling her you are happy for her and good luck. Leave it at that. YOU think you got along great when you were together, but honey, if she thought that, you'd still be together. There is nothing you can do about it. Leave it be. It's understandable that your self-esteem is shaky as far as trying it with new women. In my opinion, the best thing to do is to go on a few dates, tell them (without going into any sordid or way-too-much-information details) that you're feeling less than confident (believe me, women love honesty and vulnerability!), and take it from there. The next woman (or the second, or the fifth) does not have to be THE ONE. Just take it slow, take it easy, figure out why your past relationship didn't work and make any necessary corrections to your own behavior, and take it from there.
2006-10-24 15:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though you say that you don't care, you still do. If you didn't you would be asking us this and it wouldn't be bothering you.
I think you should just leave it alone. She lives across the country, I doubt you'll ever see her again and eventually, you're not going to care about what's going on in her life. You have to move forward into the future and let go of your past.
Stop blaming yourself, I'm sure that the whole break up was not because of you.
2006-10-24 15:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
two options:
if the break was amiable, sure, but dont overdo it. send her txts occasionally about really good things, or news about people you both know she may not have heard. it gets the message accross. don't expect a really close friendship just yet. (i get the impression it was amiable because she texted you)
if you feel there's a lot of unresolved anger, it's probably best to stay out of it for a while. its only been 3 months, anger and bitterness could still be around for a while, best to wait for her to contact you.
2006-10-24 15:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through what your talking about more then one, my first love, my second, were the hardest to get over. I cryed, I was suicidal, all the stuff your going through and I know its killing you.it doesnt matter wheather you care really, your broke up and I am sorry to say move on. find you some one else there are great women outhere and dont try to compare one to the other. time will heal trust me.
2006-10-24 15:49:39 · answer #6 · answered by imphilthe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know her address send her flowers to break the ice if you have not talked to her in a long time. The flowers do not have to be anything huge, just a small arrangment will do. Write a short but nice letter in a card and hope for a phone call. If she doesnt call, you know whats up.
2016-05-22 11:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she wants to know that you will be there no matter what.If you can be friends then do but it is super hard with an ex unless you parted on good terms. she didn't want to try hard to make it work, she wanted an easy way out. I think that you can do better. it takes time to get over but you will you need to go slowly and take one day at a time. don't go looking for someone it will happen just wait and see.
2006-10-24 16:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave it alone. Lesson learned? that depends on how jealous you act with your next girlfriend. Just relax, be cool. Don't dwell on the past, move on. Next time take it slow and don't get jealous. Jealousy is the fault of the holder, not the object of affection.
2006-10-24 15:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you need is time .... it takes months to get over an ex. It's even harder when they contact you to let you in on their new lives. I have the same problem with my EX and it has been 4 yrs. ...... But it does not help when he calls just to say hello. It is not good for me and my new and "wonderful " current boyfriend.
2006-10-24 15:45:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋