Our beloved full-time sitter of three years is leaving us next week, getting married and moving out of state. She has been with Max every day since he was six weeks old and he dearly loves her and she adores him. How have you explained a sitter leaving in a way that makes sense to a toddler, knowing they won't likely see them again? (I am already bracing for tears all around for the adults...)
He will also be starting at a daycare (big new experience) the following week and transition by going for two hours a day this week.
We handled the death of one of the cats last year, but this time I'm at a loss.
2006-10-24 15:37:17 · 11 answers · asked by flipper 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
He's only three, so luckily his memory isn't that great yet. I think at this point in his life, you don't have to make a big deal out of it. If you get stressed, he will. Let him take his cues from you, and act as if going to a new day care is the most natural thing in the world. If he gets upset, you'll be there for him, but at least you won't have caused unneccessary anguish. He's young, resilient. Trust your instincts.
2006-10-24 15:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by Summer V 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would just tell him the truth. Tell him the person fell in love and is getting married, and moving away to be with her husband. It may help to say something like "They may have a baby of their very own some day, and you helped her to practice to be a great Mommy!" Also- about the finality of it all, would the sitter not agree to maybe mail a few letters (or even email) the child, to help him through the transition? Maybe he can draw her a picture and mail it occasionally? I don't see why she would object to this, if she was as close to the child as you say. Good luck.
2006-10-24 15:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Lirrain 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww - how sad! I would just tell him that she is getting married (which he won't understand) and moving far away. If possible try to have her send pictures to him via mail for a while or maybe even call him a couple times if he's into talking on the phone. I'm sure it will be a "transition period" for all of you but he'll probably do better than you will. LOL good luck!
2006-10-24 15:49:07 · answer #3 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the sitter bring her fiance over and introduce your child to him... Explain that the sitter and her fiance are in love and are getting married so they can start a family of thier own...
When your son sees how happy the sitter is with her fiance he will want her to be happy.. He will miss her and that's ok.. Talk to the sitter about being pen pals with your son for a while.. so he still has contact with her, he can draw her pictures and you can help him write her letters and she can reply... Over time as your son becomes more adjusted to his new day care he will want to write less and less often...
By allowing him to say goodbye slowly with letters and by allowing him to see how happy she is with her fiance he will adjust well.. When the teary goodbye starts for the adults make sure to tell him its tears of happiness because she is getting married etc.
Make sure not to spring it on him too much and make sure to help him make her an appropriate goodbye gift (a drawing, a cake, a memory box with photos of the two of the doing happy things) Something she can take with her to always remember him... Ask her to get him something she can leave behind so he can remember her as well...
He will take it pretty well and will in all liklihood be over it before you will children have notoriously short attention spans and move on to new things more quickly than adults..
2006-10-24 16:24:37 · answer #4 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Children cope with problems, I still remember my first babysitter, but I'm not connected in a way that I can't live without. Just tell Max that the babysitter is going bye bye and she will not come back. It'll be hard, but soon he will forget.
2006-10-24 15:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has to go to start her own life and family that is not hard to say,Why beat around the bush just tell them.Why cry are you that mean this person is starting her own life be happy for her noy sad ,dont forget all the years she has been you when you have been gone.I know you all will give here a good going away party and a good wedding gift right.Dont be this way at least be happy for her.
2006-10-24 15:47:17 · answer #6 · answered by Douglas R 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Read the Nanny Diaries and get a clue about what this sorta stuff does to kids.
2006-10-24 16:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by master apple 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
one of the reasons that day care is so bad for children is that the substitute care givers leave. in fact, this causes attachment disorders, up to and including sociopathy.
the way you handle this is to stop work and raise your son. period. otherwise, you are setting him up for another loss. essentially, his mother (his primary caregiver) has died. this is horrific what you've done to him, without even a thought.
you shouldn't set him up for this again.
2006-10-24 16:09:34 · answer #8 · answered by cassandra 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
JUST TELL THE TRUTH. IT'S A LEARNING TIME. HE'LL ADJUST WITH THE NEW DAYCARE AND SEEING MORE KIDS TO PLAY WITH.
2006-10-24 15:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Gee I guess the truth never occured to you?
2006-10-24 15:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋