I had conferences with Kari's teacher today and she said that she is doing ok except she dosn't have a lot of confidence, like even though they have the same routine in class everyday she still needs the teacher to tell her "Kari, you need to be doing this right now" before she will do it, and she has trouble asking the teacher for help and stuff, I don't think the problem is that the teacher is someone new to her cause she is the same way with her cousin who is the same age and her best friend, she can talk to him ok until it comes to asking him if she could play with a toy or something, then she gets shy and asks me to ask for her, I have her ask herself but she is very quiet about it.
2006-10-24 15:02:39 · 16 answers · asked by pumpkin2 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
A lot of praise and pointing out what she does that is great.
Sorry that's all the help I got.
2006-10-24 15:11:30 · answer #1 · answered by Marge Simpson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was the same way at that age. Even though she was excelling at school, she rarely participated in class discussions and didn't like to talk in front of the class. I continued to encourage her at home and with her friends. She is now 9, and just suddenly came out of her shell. It was like one day shy and the next day on the kickball team, something she would have never done in the past. The other thing that has helped with her confidence, is she takes gymnastics. She started a year ago, and two months ago was asked to join the developmental team which also required more hours a week at the gym. That has really helped her, finding something she is really good at. So stress the things that your daughter does well and continue to encourage her. I am a very outgoing person myself, so it was hard for me when she was going through the shy stage. Just keep being in her corner and she will get through it!
2006-10-26 15:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by Debbi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use a lot of positive reinforcement. You could also work out a plan with the teacher where you provide some sort of reward that she could work towards during school. Don't push her too hard to do things on her own like ordering meals at restaurants or things like that. I was an extremely shy kid and I still remember when my mom would try to get me to do those kinds of things. It was awful. I'm just glad she wouldn't absolutely force it. For the time being just try and shape the school behavior. I'm sure her teacher would be able to come up with many suggestions on how to do that. She will come around in her own time.
2006-10-26 18:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by caitlinerika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to listen to your daughter and praise her whenever possible - not fake, superficial like "Oh, aren't you so pretty", but sincere praise for things she does well, and help her work on the things she does not do so well. When she makes progress, let her know what you see.
For instance, my teenager is very conscious of body image (I think it is a teenage girl thing, at least that is where it starts), so every now and then I just stop and look at her at tell her how pretty she is. They can always tell if your telling the truth or just trying to make them feel good.
My daughter used to be very shy around others, but now she is very outgoing. She is not afraid of anything.
Another thing is to get her involved in activites. Just being involved in them helps give kids more confidence, whether or not they are the best.
Good luck.
Blessed be,
Gypsy
2006-10-24 22:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are so many factors for this behavior, but when you say she is afraid to ask her cousin for a toy. My 27 year old daughter is still somewhat this way. I have researched Avoidant Personality Disorder. Now don't panic, I just wanted to see how my daughter compared. You might want to search online for this and it might be a place to see if she shows any of the behaviors they diagnose them with. For building self confidence, each and every human is blessed with equal amounts of gifts. Some show in school etc. and some don't . For example, one of the most successful preditors for job success is the ability to get along with others rather than high IQ. 80% of people lose their jobs because they can't get along with each other. There are books on amazon.com about nurturing your child by "type". If you need help emailme.
2006-10-25 21:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as her daily routine- have a chart put on her desk of what to do. This way she can do reinforce what she needs to do on her own and be more confident. Make sure that the teacher compliments her and says "good job Kari."
2006-10-24 22:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by kelliemag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many children can be affected by just one negative comment, maybe someone has either intentionally or unintentionally caused her to feel insecure, so now she doesn't trust her own judgment, you say she knows the routine yet she needs to be given direction.She doesn't trust in herself to do what she knows.Is she maybe trying so hard to be perfect, she maybe afraid to disappoint her teacher.Is she able/willing to share her thoughts with you? Ask her, or use an outside situation and ask her to tell you what she might do or how she feels .I have personally found if are doing an activity together the child isn't quite so guarded and more willing to share feelings. Hope this helps!
2006-10-25 00:36:22 · answer #7 · answered by dory329 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try taking her to after-school activities, then she will make friends and get more confident and more outgoing. Also let her invite her friends to a slumber party or just a plain get together. If it is a serious problem then maybe go to her doctor and ask if she might need to get some therapy. It is okay every child goes through a stage.
2006-10-25 23:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by keke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have a very shy 7 yr old, expcept I have a boy. We do things together and he feels like he is a big help and he see's Mom make boo-boo's as well. He likes to cook, so that works for us. Perhaps you and her take up a dance class or karate together. Once they know that the almighty Mom is just as human as them, they relate better. Everyone is right about activies, it does wonders for them. Doing it together is all the better though; you get to spend some great time together.
2006-10-25 22:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by tonyer71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask yourself, is there anything going on in your home life that may cause her to feel insecure? Has she always been this way or is this a new behavior? Is there someone in her class that makes her feel insecure? It may be that she is afraid of making a mistake. Teach her that sometimes we make mistakes but that is how we learn. Do you spend enough quality time with her? The only suggestion I have is to make sure she feels secure in her home environment and that your love is unconditional. You love her no matter what she does.
2006-10-24 22:15:46 · answer #10 · answered by Teresa A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem before... I sign up my child to a Karate School. They teach, honor, sef confidence, respect and a lot of cool stuff. By the time he went from white belt to yellow belt. I saw the amazing difference....wait till she become a black belt. She will rule!
2006-10-25 11:37:37 · answer #11 · answered by Amor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋