Lose my best friend, because of solitude?

Question

After being alone for a long time, I've basically decided to give up and settle. There is a woman who wants to be with me badly, but she lacks the one thing I look for in a lady, a good heart, she is kind of selfish and doesn't even think about her 9 year old daugther,(to me thats not good). Problem is, my best friend of 26 years doesn't care for her, and if I do decide to be with her, it will trouble him, not that he wouldn't try with every bit of his heart to get along with her, he would, just because of me, but I would know his true feelings about her, and I wouldn't want to bring her over to his place or hang out together, then the only time I'll see him is at work. Sooooo.... Do I lose my best friend/brother of 26 years and settle for someone I may never care for , or do I continue this solitude, which has been driving me insane for the past 16 years. This solitude must end, but waiting no longer seems to be an option.

Answer 1

Dont give up your best friend- you will cause a horrible time for the two of you- I know ive been on both ends of it

Answer 2

First, I know what that kind of solitude is like. I actually might love this girl that I'll probably never be with, but that's not whats important right now. The most important thing is that you don't like this lady, right. You should only establish a relationship with someone you are at least remotely interested in not just for the sake of having a relationship. And as for your friend, ya you want your friend to not hate your girlfriend but what matters most is that you and your girlfriend are happy together. Don't worry you'll find the right girl. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I have been alone for 7 years and yes, it gets very lonely. But think about what you are doing. You say this woman is selfish and doesn't even think about her 9 year old daughter and doesn't have a good heart. Wake up guy. It is alot better to be alone than to be with some woman that doesn't have a good heart, is selfish, but most important issue----she doesn't even think about her 9 year old daughter. If you get in a relationship with this lady, it will be doomed and you will be miserable. It is far better being alone than being in a relationship like this. There are some good women out there that will appreciate you and love you the way you need to be loved. People keep telling me there is a good man out there for me that will love me the way I deserve to be loved. I just finally gave up after my last relationship 7 years ago. But I am now ready to try and find that right man. Don't get with someone that is doomed from the beginning. You will only be miserable and if she doesn't treat her own daughter right, she sure won't treat you right. Think about it and good luck. I truly hope you make the right decision. Being alone is way better than living in solid hell and unhappiness. Good luck. As far as your best friend goes, sounds like to me he is only wanting the best for you and if you pick this loser, he can't stand to be around to see you treated like a dog. He sounds like a true friend to me.

Answer 4

The best suggestion I can give you .... Be honest with yourself , and NEVER settle for less than you seek.....relationships should be much more than a companionship (a pet can give you that ).
Your friend may be seeing more about her than you do , Love is blind , talk more to your friend , find out what it is that disturbs him about her . If she doesn't give attention to her daughter , I would see that as a definate sign . I doubt if she would treat you any better , than her own child . I'm sure that you seek more that just a human body to be with . 16 years is too long . If you end up without her , you may soon find the one that was made for you and will treat you as you should be treated !

Answer 5

Very deep Magik but it almost sounds like you want to use your friend as an excuse. I don't know that loneliness is such a good reason to accept less that what you deserve.

Every one has an equal right to peace and happiness. Being alone is fact, loneliness is a state of mind. In life consider that which will give you the most peace....always.

Answer 6

If you don't like the lady and you really know it it probably won't work out and then you'd be alone again. And then you wouldn't have your friend. Based on what you said I'd keep looking for a girlfriend or wife you love and have more respect for and stay friends with your best friend. I don't want to tell you what to do though.

Answer 7

Never throw away a good friend for something that may not even last 26 days. Think! you do not even like the way she treats her own daughter her flesh and blood, do you really think she will treat you any better. Come on, be real.

Answer 8

Please, don't settle. It sounds like if you decide to give up and be with this women, she will suck all the happiness out of your life. Get away from her and look for someone else. Be really proactive and date around. Put yourself out there, give your number to women you find interesting and ask them if you can take them out, just for lunch or dinner or a movie. It sounds like anyone would be better than that other woman. Don't give up hope, I'm sure there's someone out there for you, and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 9

I would rather be alone than unhappy & unsatisfied. Two against one....I would stick with one. Are you just settling for someone for sex or what? What is happening that you can't possibly meet someone that is a good person......are you looking in all the wrong places?

Answer 10

Move on! Give him a Tickle Me Elmo TMX and leave a note that says, “Funny, but I still hope things will be okay for both of us. Good luck!” Tell him how you really feel. Also, browse this site http://www.upkb.com/elmotmx.php for more info.