I need An answer? about 25-30 years ago my aunt taught me some of the words but I need the rest..?

Question

I stand before u to stand behind u, to tell u something I know nothing about. There will be a ladies meeting for gentlemen only.Admission is free pay at the door....this is all I remember ..it starts with ladles and jelly spoons,I stand....
Any body ever heard it?

thanks for the answers..i was surprized some one else had heard it .the one I remember did not have dogs r fleas or spitting on the floor..
it was on a record,she used in preschool, I taught preschool but never got the record..I have kept the silly part of this all these yrs never knowing where to find the answers..thanks to all that wrote..

Answer 1

Ladles and Jellyspoons,
I come before you, to stand behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
There will be a mothers' meeting for fathers only.
Admission is free, pay at the door,
Pull up a seat and sit on the floor.
We will be discussing the four corners of the round table.

Author: Unknown

There are also other versions:

Dear Ladies and Jellyspoons

I come before you
to stand behind you
And tell you something
I know nothing about

Next Thursday,
which is Good Friday,
there will be a Mothers meeting,
for Fathers only.

Wear your best clothes
if you haven't any,
and if you can come,
please stay at home.

Admission's free
pay at the door.
Take a seat
and sit on the floor.

It makes no difference
where you sit
The man in the gallery's
sure to spit.

Ursula Roberts offered up this version:

I come before you, to stand behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about
Next Thursday, the day after Friday
There'll be a ladies meeting for gentlemen only
Admission is free, so you can pay at the door
No matter where you sit the kid in the gallery is sure to spit.

And Chris Davis wrote to say:

"I have been looking for this poem for years. I remember illustrating it as a child and drew a picture of a man giving a lecture on fishing, having caught a boot on the end of his line. The poem was published in a BBC booklet which went with a radio programme. As I remember, it was written by Spike Milligan, the famous UK comedy writer and poet. Thank you for reuniting me with an old friend!"

Nia says, "Just wanted to add that I memorized the following version in 4th grade (would have been 1992 or 1993)":

Ladies and jellyspoons,

I come before you
to stand behind you
and tell you something
I know nothing about.

Next Thursday,
the day after Friday,
there will be a ladies' meeting
for men only.

Wear your best clothes,
if you haven't any,
and if you can come,
please stay home.

Admission is free,
you can pay at the door.
We'll give you a seat,
so you can sit on the floor.

It makes no difference
where you sit,
the kid in the gallery
is sure to spit."

Answer 2

I have heard it, but not sure where. Could it be from a Shel Silverstein book of poems. It sounds like something he would write. Try Where the Sidewalk Ends or A Light In the Attic.

Answer 3

I know one kind of similar

Ladies and Gents and Dogs without fleas
Cover your ears and Listen Up Please
I here to tell you something I know nothing about
So pull up a seat and sit on the floor
Admission is free so pay at the door.
Two Dead Men decided to fight
In the middle of night in broad daylight
They stood front to front and back to back of one another
The deaf policemen heard the noice
And came to arrest the two dead boys
Ask the blind man, he saw it too.

I don't know if thats it but its close.

Answer 4

Of course we realise if we make a change. Meanwhile, to prove we are bad people or worse than you, you felt the need to curse?

Answer 5

I hesitate to articulate for fear of deviating from the paths of righteousness.