No kids at weddings?

Question

How do i explain to my fiancee that having kids at the wedding isn't the best idea, our wedding is a formal do in a Grand ballroom

Answer 1

I had my own kids at my wedding....I had no choice really and I can honestly say kids are very hard to deal with at weddings. They run in front of the photographer costing you photos to be ruined and they get a small meal which you pay a lot of money for. You are having a very swish wedding and kids would just ruin it. Tell him it's not that you don't like the children it's just it is very expensive to have children there, and you don't want children running onto the dance floor during your bridal waltz. People have plain old parties which kids are not invited to and this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life so why have kids there either?

Answer 2

An option for kids at the wedding is talk to wedding planner about having a "day care".

A friend of mine did this.

She was able to hire two qualified people, which allows in State of California 12 kids per person, total of 24, which was only like 14 kids. More than 12 Kids in my area has to have an assistant. 14+ in other counties.

On the RSVP, she asked parents to choose some options for their kids: Movies, Games, snacks, crafts, music etc. So, parents would select what they will bring and the bride/groom verified it. If too many were bringing movies, but not enough games, she would call a few parents and ask them if they can bring games instead.

Therefore, the kids had LOTS to do and supervised. The room was right next door where parents can peak in etc. Emergancy numbers were in a log and the two girls were paid $8 hour. Which equalied out to be 5 hours of reception time. Total of like $80. Plus, allowed the two girls to eat the food for free for helping out.

Con: She only had two parents complain that their children didn't want to be in there and had a right to be with them instead. She kindly told them they RSVP and rules were made prior to wedding taken place (as the two children were mouthing off and not listening to the daycare teachers). Those two left the wedding.

If a child is sick, ask to please not bring them. If the parents can't come due to that, graciously thank them for acknowledging and then kindly place that you would love to get together with them sometime instead. Which keeps the door open with respect on both sides.

Sometimes you have to draw a fine line on what you will allow or disallow. If you allow one parent, then have to allow every parent. Some will take advantage of your offering of a daycare. Others will feel it is rude.

The wedding part, the children sat with the parents. She said she had no problem with that and they were good. After all, she had a flower girl, ring bear and a special honor (her younger sister which is 9) as bridesmaid.

Answer 3

I say if you want no kids at your wedding you have the right to express this wish. Tell your fiance that you love kids so much that you feel you would be distracted by them and not be able to give him the attention you wish to on your special day.
Maybe do as someone else suggested and have a couple of people who are willing to mind anyone's children who have the rudeness to show up. NO kids is No kids and should be adhered to. Have an engagement party that everyone can come to or if there is a HEAP of kids in the family have a small peoples party so everyone is involved in some way. But to be true the person who said if it is a NO KIDS wedding, then there should be no flower girls and pageboys cos then you are just going back on your own words.

Answer 4

I can understand not wanting a lot of very young children at your wedding. But is it the wedding , the reception, or both that you are talking about?

My cousins range in age from 11 through their 50s - that's just first cousins. To make weddings sane, some of my relatives have done various things. It's been common that only a very few children well known to the bride and groom are in attendance. During the wedding, one bride had a teenage girl look after the little ones off to the side, with colouring books and crayons and quiet snacks at the ready. Another bride asked that those with young children be seated directly on the outside aisles so they could exit quickly if the child fussed, without having to use the centre aisle.

When I was a child my mother attended one in a hotel, where the bride and groom actually hired a room (or suite) and two sitters to look after all the young children during the ceremony (Two in case one had to go locate a parent, and just to make it easier), and we watched movies and played games, but we could attend the reception with our parents until we got restless, then go back to the kid room and hang out.

The most recent wedding reception I went to had 3, 3 year old girls and a 3 yer old boy, an infant, two 6 year old boys, and a couple of pre-teens at it. These were the children of the bride and grooms siblings and closest cousins. No other chidlren were invited, but the bride and groom knew these ones well enough to know that they would keep each other occupied, show manners, and be well supervised by their parents and a couple of aunts. (Frankly, I think the children were a welcome distraction at times for one of the youngest aunts, who was there without a date.) There were no problems whatsoever, and everyone was touched to see the little three year olds dancing together.

Yes, kids can be a pain at a wedding. And it's YOUR wedding. But you really may find some people can't or won't come (especially if having to come overnight, or travel far) unless their kids can be present in some way. So if it's important to you that people quite close to you be able to come, who have small children, you may want to think about some of the ideas I've mentioned.

Enjoy your wedding!

Answer 5

The only way to do it, without really offending anyone, would be to put "Adult Reception" on the invitations. I don't want guests to bring their kids (and most guests DON'T want to bring their kids so they can get a night out!). My nephews will be in the wedding party and will be at the reception but only until after dinner then there are arrangements to take them home. A wedding costs A LOT of money and to have to pay a per person charge for a child that won't even eat much, is a waste and that is one less adult you can invite as a guest. It is ultimately up to you and if people that have kids are offended, then what kind of friends or family are they? You don't need to worry about what anyone else thinks and just do what you want....it is YOUR day!!

Answer 6

I think kids are important to have at weddings. I had a formal wedding as well, in a Grand Ballroom! I believe that everyone, the whole family, should celebrate the wedding of a man and a woman - that is how children learn how wonderful marriage is. They need to attend the ceremony, to be part of witnessing the marriage, and they need to attend the reception - to participate in the celebration and to have fun with everyone else! Weddings are one of the social events that children learn how to properly socialize, learn to dance, etc.

Answer 7

Kids and fancy, formal weddings just don't mix. I don't care what others say, you are not being a "bridezilla" by not wanting them there. If you would like to, it would be VERY generous of you to offer for children of wedding party members to have a separate room during the reception, it's too big of an expense to go to for any guest's children though. If you have not yet mailed invites, you should address the inner envelope to the couple only. Only put the names of those actually invited on the inner envelope. For example, the outer envelope (the one you stamp) should read something like:
Mr. and Mrs. John Q Smith
1234 Main Street
City, State, Zip
and the inner envelope should read simply:
John and Mary Smith
This tells the Smith family that only John and Mary are invited, not their "adorable" 8 year old twin boys. Same applies to single guests too, if you don't want them bringing a guest, just have their name on the inner envelope. Also, watch your response cards as well, if you've invited 2 people, and the response card has 4 people on it...you know to call them. Best of luck to you in the planning!

Answer 8

Having children at a wedding is very expensive, if you have to pay for each person who attends, and usually you do. Most people nowadays understand that you just can't do that. If your fiancee really wants kids at the wedding reception, you should have it catered at a church hall or American Legion, so you don't have to pay for each meal. You might consider inviting the children just to the wedding, and put on the invitation that the reception is "adults only." But if you have a video of your wedding, and children are there, I guarantee you that you will have some "kiddie noise" in the background.

Another option would be to have another reception just for family, the next afternoon, and include the children then.


I♥♫→mia☼☺†

Answer 9

If kids are part of your family then they should be considered important. I mean how many nieces and nephews do you have?

If it is a lot then I understand why you would not want them there, but if it is only a few what is the big deal. The caterer usually charges 50% for children under 12. And if they are misbehaving their parents can bring them out into the lobby. It shouldn't be your decision to give parent's a kid free night. I enjoy going to family affairs with my well behaved 8 year old daughter. But I guess all parents are not responsible and some people would not take their children into the lobby.

Answer 10

I would say that if there are kids at the wedding we would be responsible for them and we can't have a bunch of kids running around without activitys and someone to watch them.
or Alot of adults are not comfortable with kids running around when they are trying to have a good time
also the cost factor
10 kids at $50 a plate $500 also if you are doing your own wedding you need to factor in pace settings and linens as well as tables and chairs cost will go way up