You might be a chav if.......?

Question

Bored of "You might be a redneck if..."

Americans - do a bit of research into what a chav is

.....you're 12 years old and that pram you push isn't a toy....

Answer 1

Are sitting outside tescoes drinking white lightning and shouting "greebo" at everyone that walks past wearing black.

You have a kebab stain down your Lacoste tracksuit but still where it because your Le Coq Sportif tracksuit doesn't fit you anymore.

You consider Playboy as a designer brand rather than a porn magazine.

You leave your thong on display all the way up your back, and consider it sexy.

You have a cousin in every street of your town.

You steal penny sweets and brag to your friends.

Answer 2

Your one of these sad toss-pots that hangs round outside shops for entertainment, ride a 50cc motorbike (my food mixer's got a bigger engine than that!!) and think Colleen Mcgodknowswhat is cool!!! Not to do with Burberry, it's just a varient of the pinstripe suits my great grandfather wore before he died. Shows how uncool Burberry gear really is that!!!!

Answer 3

... if you wear so much Bling while walking on the pavement that it blinds the oncoming traffic, which causes your Rottweiler to be run over.

(How annoying! I used to love Rottweilers, but now I really couldn't have one any more because it reminds me of those people I see every day at the local shops!)

PS: What makes you think that a chav spotted the question??? :)

Answer 4

You think Lakeside is the cultural centre of the universe

Answer 5

...you watch any shows of the 'Jerry Springer' type.
...you think you don't have to work hard to succeed.
...you have no concept of self-awareness.
...you are so ignorant, you think you know everything, despite leaving school without qualifications.
...you think 17" alloys look cool on a poxy little Vauxhall Nova

I better stop now.

Answer 6

you're a redneck

Answer 7

you offer blowjobs for cigarettes - this actually happened to me. tempting but no...

Answer 8

...you sport Burberry caps (but that's pretty obvious).

Answer 9

.....You have a kid at 13 and your Mother is proud

Answer 10

THE WORD CHAV COMES FROM THE WORD CHAVYBOY. AND THAT MEANS KID