How can I get my 14 year old daughter to clean her room?!?!?

Question

Seriously... I am getting sick of dirty dishes, clothes all over, paper on the floor. I can't even see her bed half the time. HELP!

Answer 1

ok, as a kid, i was messy, and as an adult im a neat freak. here's what did the trick...my mom came in my room one day and said that it was disrespectful to how hard she worked to keep a tidy household, for me to leave my room in such a state of disarray. she said that she didnt ask for much from be but for my room to be tidy with a semblance of order. she told me that her feelings were very hurt that I had no respect for my things....and she never raised her voice once. She just sounded sort of sad like I had not fulfilled on my end of a deal. I was really upset that I could have been so disrespectful to my mom who did so much for my family, that I cleaned my room that night and it stayed that way from age 13 until i moved out at 22.

Answer 2

I know you have probably tried all the nice talk, the mean talk, the yelling the screaming etc, to no avail. So, reverse it a little. Stop doing her laundry. Don't do any of the usual "maternal" things for her. Since she thinks she is grown up enough to handle her own stuff........let her. She can do her own laundry and cooking etc. Anything thats hers in the house, throw it in her room. Dont allow her to keep anything in the regular living space of your house. Let her live in her own filth. Anything she leaves in the living room, the kitchen etc.......take it and toss it in her room. She may never clean her room, but you have done what you can as far as a mom is concerned. Shes at the age that shes old enough to do things without being told. When it gets to where she cant find clean clothes for work or school, and she is late for work or school and eventually looses her job or is counted absent, dont bail her out. I know a lot of this is really thinking further down the road, but it sounds as tho its going to take something extreme for her to snap into the ADULT world. OR another thing you could do is move her room into the garage or the shed in the yard. Tell her until she can be clean and act as a human memeber of the family she can stay in the garage and live like a dog. Even dogs and cats are neater than she sounds. Whew........boy, sorry for the tangent! Good luck.

Answer 3

First, you should have started about 11 years ago; making cleaning house a game she could "help" with and participate in. She'd have gotten a boost to her self esteem by being productive, taken pride in her accomplishments, and reinforced those thoughts for the past decade. The chance for instilling that kind of self-motivation is gone now. The only role left to you is disciplinarian (which you dislike, or this wouldn't be an issue, and you wouldn't be asking this question). There's no magic pill anymore. That time is gone. You have to be firm... even harsh.
Stand at the door, insist that she clean her room, right now, and watch as she does it. No phone, no fun, no nothing for either of you till it's done. Then, tomorrow, you do it again. And the next day, and the next. However long it takes for her to understand she now has a daily duty that you will monitor and enforce. If she misses a day, the next day you're standing at the door again... and again...
It's not fun, but eventually you won't have to stand for her filth, or stand at her door.

Answer 4

Ok, Listen close! You are the parent, which gives you a certain amount of power and "upmanship". You pay the bills; yo put the food on the table. in other words, you are supporting this sorry-a** spawning.

This is how you put your foot down. No more yelling because at that age they really have begun to tune you out. I your best "Leave-It-To-Beaver" sweet voice, tell the little hellion what you'd like done and when you'd like it done, then implement your "New" justice when they do not comply.

What is this "New Justice" you ask? Well citing problems outlined in your post, do as follows (again you must not yell nor lose your cool, stay sweet and hold your ground):

1. Dirty Dishes: Let the dishes pile up and when the sink is just brimming, take all of the dishes (wet and sticky) and put them in the little monkey's bed. They probaly will not like this, but it's your house and your rules. Remind him/her that you asked them nicely to clean the dishes and if they don't want a repeat perfromance, do the dishes when told.

2. Clothes All Over: This is my favorite. Gather up all of little Kimmy's jeans and starter bras and those Ugg boots, put them in a garbage bag and sprinkle them gingerly on the front lawn. Do this preferrably when she is out with her friends. she will, of course, become quite "put out" (no pun intended). Remind her that you told her to clean her room and if she does not want a repeat performance, Do what you tell her to. An added plus is to drag her mattress onto the front lawn too.

Be creative in dealing with other infractions. In no time your house will be super clean.

My mom did this to me and it worked great the first time. I kept my room clean and the dishes done.

Just don't give in and don't back down.

enjoy!

Answer 5

This might work it did for my daughter who is 14 . I started to take away her special things when she wanted to go out with her freinds she was not alowwed to do so . Also I took phone away from her once i did that and the computer she started to clean her room and it is always clean now . It took about a month to get through to her but it worked . good luck

Answer 6

Start cleaning it for her. I mean really cleaning, that includes throwing away anything that doesn't belong there, even if it looks like it might be personal to her. Teenagers HATE anyone going through their 'stuff'. Put stuff away and when she asks where her stuff is at, don't tell her. Just say she would know if she were the one to clean her room.

Answer 7

GOOD LUCK if you figure this out please let me know. I have a 14 year old son that wont clean his room. I watched a program about a year ago and the DR said let it be, there room is there life. This is something that they can relate to. When there rooms are a mess there life is in an up roar they will clean when it when there life gets figured out. HE told the women be glad that your child is not on drugs or in gangs. So when I see that his room is a city dump I guess that I have to thank God that my son is home, safe, not on drugs and not in gang. Good luck.

Answer 8

Help her clean it the first time. Then make it her responsibility to clean it after that. Once a week is fine. Make her allowance contingant upon helping out around the house. But pick your battles. She is 14 and you have only just begun...

Answer 9

well im 14 and a girl also my mom makes me clean my room along with do my laundry every saterday or else i cannot leave the house or use the phone, copmuter ect. untill it is all done. and it works for me and my two older sisters who are 16 and 17

Answer 10

All you can do is take things away from her...I let my sons room get really bad and then it was either clean it or do without everything and I mean everything..No rides no t.v. no cd player,video games and whatever else.I told him if he couldn't help me out and keep his room clean then I didn't have to do anything for him..It worked after he saw I meant business.Good luck..No ride to school either...The awful school bus.hahahah