My daughter was born on the third of this month and already I am getting the feeling that my husband thinks I'm a bad mom. I'm so tired of it. I talked about it with him when we had our first daughter but now that we have our second child he's become even worst. Everytime I try to hold her he takes her. In the middle of me changing her he takes her. In the middle of the night when she is crying I want to give her some milk he stops me and gives her that formula stuff. When will he learn that I can do things for my daughters by myself. I'm getting so sick of him and that noncess. He even does it infront of my family and sometimes it's embarrasing. I really don't want to have this talk with him again but right now it's about to come out of my mouth. Can someone help me please. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a control freak who thinks I need his help all the time. GIVE ME ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-24 12:54:14 · 16 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i see all these answers that keep saying he just wants to be part of the baby too and this and that but the whole point that i am coming across is, you want to feed your baby too, you want to have some mommy and daughter bonding by yourselves (understandable) your husband should wait for the second feeding then he can have his father daughter bonding. for the diaper change take turns just like the feeding bit, he has to understand moms like to do this stuff too, especially since we do have to carry the child for 9 months or even longer if over due, so we do earn the right *lol* in my opinion talk to him again and tell him firmly that you would like to have that special bond with your daughter too, your both her parents and both of you should have equal opportunities with the child, trust me she isn't going anywhere *lol* she has 18 years to go, so there is plenty enough time for the both of ya. good luck hon and i wish for you the best.
2006-10-25 07:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by sweetheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O my my, can't live with them; can't live with them. Well I'm a dad and a grand-pa ...all girls..married 38 yrs...here goes...you may try feeling a little lucky he's there for you...now wait...chill...lots of dads are MIA...if he's a control freak in all things in your life he needs a pro to talk to..if it's just your (both of yours) child he likes to be a part of ...talk to him like he's the man we all are..."Honey, you must be so tired after working all day and then doing so much for me and the baby, that I think we should share alittle more so how would it be if during the week when you work I'll do all the baby thing and on the weekend you can do as much as you'd like, OK schnuckums wuckums ?" and if your working as well as long as he's not taking things out on you and the babies not in any danger....take a break...let him do some of those thing that can be so overwhelming for any new Mom PS what you said about formula is 100% right on ..keep up the healthy way
PPS if all of this is more serious than I believe it is ...time to talk to your Pediatriciation and have him talk to your hubby....THIS IS supposed to be the happiest time of your lives and the baby can sense any conflict thats going on so only discuss away from the baby
PPS And if you have to tell him more than once; tell him till he gets it...SEEMS SO SIMPLE, EVEN A CAVEMAN CAN DO IT...WE ARE ONLY 3 STEPS OUT OF THE CAVE US GUYS...SOMETIMES WE DON'T GET IT AND HAVE TO BE TREATED AS CHILDREN OURSELVES
2006-10-24 13:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by bob r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's being very unfair to you- and you need to let him know that. Try to work something out to where you can pump if u are breastfeeding, and take turns feeding your baby. But let him know he must compromise with you. Ask him why he is doing this, and let him know how u feel about it. I''m sorry you are in this situation, that would be very tough. But he needs to know you have a say in everything that comes to your children. One thing i tend to do- is take my son away from my husband sometimes (not every time), but only when my husband looks frustrated, and it does make him mad sometimes. I do it because I know how frustrating it can get at times, and I want to give him a break- it's not that he is a bad father in any way. I'm not sure if this is something your husband does? But if you ask him why, and then tell him you don't want him to do that anymore, maybe it would help. It took my husband to tell me that he will let me know if he needs my help, so I stopped taking our son away from him, and allowed him to let me know when it was my turn. :)
Another thing- it can't be good for your children to see any of this either.... if your husband is constantly taking your child away from you and saying you are doing it wrong, it will confuse your kids. you both need to work together as a team, but he has to be willing to do that! I hope he will!
2006-10-24 13:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AS a single mother of three, I gotta tell ya, I would LOVE for someone to take over diaper changing duties once in awhile!!! But to do it CONSTANTLY!?!?! And to make you feel inadequate - NO. Shouldn't be happening dear. Seriously, I'd say something. Don't wait for him to "take over" before you bring up the subject (the last thing you need is a blow out in front of the kids); along the same lines, think of it from his perspective...
Do you have two girls? Is he just being protective of them? I mean - OVERLY protective? That could be some of it... have you noticed if he does it to other people? Like if say, gramma was changing the baby...? It might not be you hun... it might be anyone other than him.
Good luck and I hope it all works out... for your daughters' sakes.
2006-10-24 14:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by pc_girl_2005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Husband in reformatory, quite a few boyfriends, having too many youngsters in an risky ecosystem? If she isn't a bad mom, she has genuinely made a gaggle of undesirable options out of lack of wisdom. in spite of the undeniable fact that, your husband ought to appreciate your mom and carry his tongue. in basic terms tell your husband which you're totally conscious that your mom has phucked up very much in her existence and he or she genuinely should not be a place type for mothers. although, she remains your mom and you adore her very lots, so close the phuck up approximately her or there will be issues. interior the period in-between, do no longer communicate approximately your mom or her undertaking to him. it is going to easily go in a bad path.
2016-10-02 22:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you are not a bad mom. Being a parent is one of the hardest things you will ever do and the fact there is a new baby makes it that much harder for the both of you. REMEMBER both of your emotions are running high right now. We have twins that are 21/2 years old and we are still not getting it right. Just yesterday my husband made me feel like a bad mom. Another thing to remember is he is a man. lol Hang in there and congrats on the baby.
2006-10-24 12:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by elainecynthia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that he is only trying to help you and give you the rest that you need? When I had my daughter, my husband tried to do everything but eventually calmed down after the first month. He stated that he was worried about my recovery and didn't want me to be stressed out. Talk with your husband maybe he is feeling the same way and wants to help while he can, when you need him more.
Good luck!
2006-10-24 13:04:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are taking it all wrong, maybe your should look at it as if he is trying to give you a break or that he is just trying to be a good father and husband. I know a lot of women that have husbands that couldn't care less about doing the things your husband is doing. For them you should be thank full that this is all you have to say about yours, I'm not trying to say that you are ungrateful, I'm just saying that you are lucky.
2006-10-24 15:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him how this makes you feel? It obviously is upsetting you. It sounds like he wants to be in control of the situation but you are doing your best that you can to take care of your children. I think you two should go into counseling and hopefully will work out the issues. Good luck and personally, I would be upset by this too.
2006-10-24 13:03:11 · answer #9 · answered by rachee_gal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is sit down and have a talk with him and ask him why he has been doing the things, he has been doing. And also explain to him how it makes you feel.
2006-10-24 13:00:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋