2006-10-24 12:29:17 · 9 answers · asked by Navi Johal 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Any joke you heared, red, told... just post it!!
2006-10-24 12:29:57 · update #1
My wife hates this joke. So, if you don't like it, you agree with her.
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My wife and I went on vacation to farm country and toured a dairy farm. While on tour we saw a cow with a wooden leg.
I asked the farmer, "How'd the cow get a wooden leg."
"Well," he said, "the cow is a great milker, she gives 5 gallons of milk more than any other cow I've got. And she's a hero, too. The hay wagon overturned on me and she ran to the house to get help."
"And that's how she lost a leg?" I asked.
"No", he replied, "then the barn caught on fire and she kicked a pail of water on it to put it out."
"And that's how she lost a leg?" I asked again.
"No. Then my son fell down the well and she lowered a rope down to him and held on until he could climb out."
Getting a little annoyed that he hadn't answer my question, I said, "Is that how?"
"No."
"Then how did she loose that leg?"
"With a cow that valuable, you don't eat them all at one time."
2006-10-24 12:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by Da Judge 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.
Number 1:
(Sung to the tune of 'Ibelive I Can Fly')
â« I belive I can die, â«
â« I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, â«
â« All I wanted was a popsicle, â«
â« Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . â«
Number 2:
Q: What does a television and Mchael Jackson have in common?
A: They both can get turned on by three year olds.
That's all I got.
2006-10-29 00:33:59 · answer #2 · answered by xinnybuxlrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CRUDE. NOT FOR KIDS!
Man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a soda. Bartender, knowing the neighborhood man, asks him why he isn't having a beer.
The man tells the bartender, "Man, I got really drunk last night. Just going to chill out a bit tonight."
Bartender says, "Aw, come on, a little beer will get you right back in the groove."
The man tells the bartender, "No, I better not. I got so F-ed up last night, I blew chunks."
The bartender tells the man, "Don't worry about it, everyone blows chunks once in a while."
The man tells the bartender, "You don't understand, dude, Chunks is my DOG!!".
The bartender gave the man his soda.
2006-10-24 20:27:10 · answer #3 · answered by detecting_it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 32-year old blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse and tries to throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...
The Wal-Mart manager runs out and shuts the horse off.
2006-10-25 02:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by JubJub 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the funniest joke i ever heard was.......once there were these 3 boys and the boys mama said to go out to the woods and pick fire wood for that night, the boys did as they were told but when there mom was telling them not to go far they were to busy thinking where they were gonna go. the boys enede up wondering far into the woods. it started becoming dark and the boys saw a mansion with lights on the three little boys nocked on the door and a butler opened and said yes oh may i help you? the boys said yes may we stay in your mansion for the night until we find our way home in the morning. the butler said yes to the boys and said they may go into any door in the mansion but one.......the big black door. the boys agreed but when the butler tucked them into bed the boys went into the big black door and saw.........
a whole bunch of dicks hanging for the celing the boys turned around and saw the butler he asked why they went inot the room they said they were curious.. the butler said that curisosity pays and he said what ever the job your dad has thats the way i'm cutting you dick off.
the first boy says my dad cuts trees with a saw.... ok well saw it off swisssss swissss swissss
the second boy says well my dad cuts trees with a chain saw rimmmmmmm rimmmmmmmmmmm rimmmmmmmmmm]
the third boy is sitting in the corner laughing his head of and says well my dad works at a pop cycle store....
ok well have to suck it off lets start sucking!
2006-10-24 19:46:25 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Sasha♥ 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
George w Bush
2006-10-24 19:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
how do you get three old ladies to say ****?
call out bingo!!!
2006-10-28 08:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by mum & slave 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Termite walks into a bar and sez,
"Bar tender?"
2006-10-24 20:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by dogscallops 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yo mamma
2006-10-24 19:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by lilpimp0099 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋