How to say goodbye when dropping off my kid w/o crying?

Question

Hi,
Every morning, my 2 year old daughter cries when I say goodbye to her after dropping her off at the day care. Are there any tricks to stop the crying? It has been going on for 4 weeks now.

Your advises are really appreciated!

Philip

Answer 1

Hi Phillip,

I have been working in early childhood education for about 20 years and was just recently an Infant Toddler Caregiver for the last 3 years.

From my most recent experience, the transition time for new toddlers into childcare lasts about 6 to 8 weeks. SO THE ANSWER IS, YOU CAN'T!! Transitions are just, in general, difficult. HOWEVER,you can do some things to help it along.

The best things to do are:

1. Take the time to make a strong connection with your childs' caregiver. Spend some time each day discussing things beyond childcare. When YOU feel comfortable with who you are leaving your child with, your daughter will feel it also. (this will also allow for transition time into her day for your child as well) If you're not comfortable with your child's caregiver or daycare center, take a look at that for yourself and see if there is some way you can remedy that situation.

2. Don't draw it out. When you are ready to leave, say Goodbye and go. Children are so intelligent and are VERY aware of our sensitive spots, if she knows and has experienced that when she cries you will stay longer, she will utilize that in order to get you to stay longer. Be honest with her about your own feelings, you love her, will miss her & want to be with her, etc, AND let her know that you will always come back to get her. ( you could ask her caregiver to call you each day and let you know when she stops crying;it will be a shorter and shorter amount of time each time)

3. NEVER NEVER NEVER SNEAK OUT!!!! She is learning to trust her new situation and consistency and safety are very important. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS SAY GOODBYE!!!A really good thing to do is start a "goodbye ritual" something you do exactly the same way, EVERY time you leave her at day care. I have known of some parents who exchange a kiss on the palm of the hand to carry with them all day. Find something that works with you and your child's personalities.

4. Check with your child's caregiver to find out what s/he thinks. Make sure it is at a time when she can give you her attention, or maybe ask her when would be a good time to talk about it. She may have ideas about what would work. Some children like to go straight into a caregivers arms, others like to play and orient themselves in the room before connecting with the caregiver.

There may be something she can do just after you leave and throughout the day: In my last class, we would sing a song that went like this: "Mary's Daddy loves her so much, gives her hugs and kisses and such, Mary's Daddy always come back, and takes her home to have some dinner!" Eventually ALL of the children would want us to sing this song for them and their friends and would sing along, too.

5. The Bottom Line: It Just Takes Time !!!

Hang in there, it will get better!

Kristine

Answer 2

My son didn't cry I was the big baby so I went to school with him almost everyday of preschool, I stayed outside the gate in kinder garden I volunteered in 1st grade and showed up every now and again in 2nd grade and now he's in 4th grade and you know I might as well be a wild wolf chasing him if I show up now...lol It gets better as time goes by but if she keeps crying you may need to investigate the school further kids usually make friends and are excited about seeing them.

Answer 3

Just say goodbye - have a good day - I'll see you after school and then go. The crying will eventually stop - they all do it

Answer 4

this is really common.. i remember my teacher used to say, preschoolers have this switch in their brain and they'll cry but once they see everyone there, the switch will turn off. well..just a little humor, but, you shouldn't wait for her to stop crying. just drop her off and say bye, kiss her, hug her, etc and so on and so on. but eventualy she'll figure it all out. she'll see her friends and play with them and she won't need you to be next to her..just give it some time.. about the end of the year and she'll be good.. hope it helps !! ^.^

Answer 5

Both my kids did that. This phase will come to an end in time. You need to just leave when this happens. Minutes after you leave they realize their friends are there and the crying ends quickly....be patient, but leave when they start crying.

Answer 6

we gave my son a special wave and made a big deal out of it we talked about when the wave was over mommy would go but be back later we then had a special hug for my return...he tried to squeeze me very hard but n e way a special thing to do when you leave may help

Answer 7

Read your daughter the book called "the kissing hand" its a great childrens book. You draw a heart on their hand or something and...well its been a while since i read the story but i promise it works.

well it worked for my little brother anyway. good luck

Answer 8

try telling her that she is going to have a good day and you will see her real soon or pack her favorite lunch so she has somthing to look fowerd to. but whatever you do dont bribe her that is the worst thing do. because she thinks if she cries she will get somthing. good luck!!

Answer 9

I would take another look at the daycare and see what kind of a place it is. It sounds like she doesn't enjoy going there.

Answer 10

try and get her to make friends with someone at the daycare so then she'll play with them and forget you quicker