How do you get over the pain of losing a pet?

Question

We had to put my daughter's 8yr old cat to sleep yesterday. She had mammary tumors which started rupturing and we knew that at this point she was beginning to be in some discomfort. We didn't want to see her in any more pain so we put her down. I have never witnessed this before and I actually had to leave the room (leaving my husband to be there alone) and I only saw her after she was dead. I can't get the image of her lying there - not moving. I feel terrible. The Vet said it was the right thing but she seemed so happy still. I suppose it's normal to keep questioning your actions at this point but when will I feel better!? My daughter is taking it better than my husband and I are (she's 10) and I'm glad. I just feel like a killer! Please help me feel better....

I should have mentioned that we have 3 other cats in the house and 1 dog. My cats age from 18, 17 & 7. I keep thinking about how my 18 yr old will be next and I can't stand it! We don't want anymore pets because of this. I know they bring you such joy but we don't think we can get another and wait for this again. Maybe with time.......

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you for your loss, it's close to losing a child. Having a suffering animal put to sleep makes you an angel of mercy, not a killer.
When I had to put my 12 year old calico, that I had bottle raised, to sleep because she had a stroke, my husband was afraid I would die along with her. We also had other katz, but Muff Muff was MY baby, and to this day, I still miss her and think about her everyday. You never get over that, but... keep your heart open and God or fate or karma, whichever you please, will send you another furball to help fill the little empty spot in your heart. Don't try to forget her or get over her, it will happen in it's own time, just as if it were a human in your life that passed. I know a lot of people don't understand the bond, but I know you do.
Hold in your heart that she was happy, and most likely spoiled, and that she died in the arms of a loved one from the home she had always known. Remember all the times she did something goofy, and know that you did the right thing by helping her pass easily.

Answer 2

Ofcourse you're not getting a new dog. Not in the near future. Because no dog will ever replace the ones that you love. It hurts to lose your pet. And many people who never had a dog will not understand your pain. Did you keep their favorite toys? Put them on a shelf, next to your other precious memories. And make sure to put their picture there as well. Trying to forget the pain of losing them, is not going to work. You will never forget them, but that's OK. Allow yourself to cry over the loss, but remember to smile about all the good memories. Your dogs lived long lives, considering that most dogs only live 12 to 13 years. They must have had a good time, and a healthy live. Always remember that.

Answer 3

You didn't mention what you did with her remains. I found for children and for me, a small yard burial helps. I had to put our 17 years old Snowshoe Siamese down at New Year's. We all miss him since he was so intuitive and seemed to love us all.

Although he had a few problems with old age, he became sick very quickly. We recognized wheezing and found out he had a tumor. My son took a few pictures at the Vet's prior to his being put down. When I see how bad he felt in those pictures, I know I had no other choice because I just couldn't torture him at 17 years of age with chemo. I would imagine there wasn't anything that could be done for your fur baby either. You would not have wanted to put her through such aggressive treatment. Perhaps you can sit down and journal out your feelings about the cat as a way to say goodbye without upsetting your daughter.

Time is the only healer of such pain.

Answer 4

I know how you feel, I had to let go of my 14 year old calico cat a few months ago because of mammary tumours also! You always ask yourself if you did the right thing and if it was the right time! You have to tell yourself that she had a good life with your family and that she isn't suffering anymore. You never forget, but you try to think of the good times you had with her!! I waited a couple of months and I adopted a kitten that looks just like her and I find that she helps me with the grieving!! I look a lot at her pictures and I tell myself that she is at the rainbow bridge and one day, we will be reunited!! Sorry for your loss but getting another cat does help!!

Answer 5

i feel for you, i have had in my life about 18 pets, cats and dogs, i have had to put some to sleep of course just recently my cat oogie for the same reason as yours, he was the best, he showed more affection then most people, you never really get over losing a pet if you truly love your animals they are part of your family, i still cry when i think of him, you did the best thing for him if he was in pain which i'm sure he was, if he was a happy cat then don't feel like a killer you should know in your heart that you were there when needed, sometimes the hardest thing for you is the best for them, don't feel that its to heartbreaking to get more animals please, there are so many that need good homes, and they do help mend a broken heart

Answer 6

There's no real way of saying to anyone how or what to do.
It just takes time,you may feel like a killer for having to put her down but in the long run the animal would thank you for it.
Would you feel any better if you had left her in pain?It's more cruel to let an animal suffer than putting them down.
I say you did the right thing.
That woman who can read the thoughts of animals would say the same thing.She was on animal planet at once time she my still be there in reruns.I liked that show.It sadden me at times but other times I was happy they found peace knowing they found out about their departed animal was happy and sometimes with them.

Answer 7

hun its hard loosing a pet! i know couse i lost my beloved quaker parrot on june 13, 2006 and i miss her soo much. I even cry my self to sleep. People say thing of the good times you were with your pet ya do that but its hard... try to go out with friends do fun things.... also try and get other pets but not the same kind of breed. i have a cockatoo parrot and 2 dogs, 1 betta fish, 1 hasmter and that keeps me going!! im sorry for you loss! Hun your not a KILLER if the vet said to put it down you had no choice to put her down. if you saw that your kitty sufferd then u had no choice.. at least they are not suffering hun..Trust me you will meet again when your turn comes. May god bless your kitty! RIP
good luck
nicky

Answer 8

Well frist you have to know that you did the right thing, it would have been worse for the cat to suffer so you really helped her. And shes in another place where she can be even happier, and as for another pet I would give it some time but you should always remember the goods times you had with her.

Answer 9

You guys did the right thing but it hurts like hell. I had to bring my wifes cat in to be put down and the only comfort we had is that her kitty is no longer suffering. Remember the good times, look at the silly cute photos, cry and in due time when your ready you may want to get another cat. Just give it some time.

Answer 10

You did the right thing, its better to let the cat go while she is still happy so that she doesn't suffer. It's good that your daughter isn't very upset, but it's like losing a relative, it takes time to heal there is nothing you can do about it. Grieving does help ease the pain.