We've only been dating a little while...and i'm really busy, so he hangs out with this other girl all the time. Like movies, clubbing...which i've made myself be less jealous about because it's not like i have any time anyway...when he and I hang out it's either to party or to just relax at his house. We don't get the chance to go anywhere...
But I asked him what he was doing Saturday, and he said going to the club with HER. And it's my birthday! So he felt all bad, and was like "i'll cancel." But I said it was ok, because I didn't want to lay a guilt trip and could we meet up later? And he was like "well...how late are you staying out?" Wronnnng answer, right?
....I am really upset, but I don't want him to think I'm a whiny brat, I don't know what to say about it. He doesn't like pressure, I feel like he's still feeling this whole realtionship thing out, you know? But I am getting kind of naseous thinking about it...what should I do?? :(
2006-10-24 12:18:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Are you serious? I was about to say that you are letting him go out with his "other" girlfriend on your birthday, but in all honesty it sounds like you are the "other girl".
You haven't put much time into it, find someone that is for YOU. This guy isn't yours....you can fool yourself if you want to.
2006-10-24 12:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When he said that he'd cancel -- I would have gone with the flow and let him cancel. If he would rather hang out with "HER", as you say, then it may be best for you to find another HIM. I can almost see where this is going because of a past relationship of my own. If he is still feeling things out and doesn't like pressure, then all is not right with your relationship. He is still playing field, so to speak. If he really cared for you, there would not be an issue of "pressure". If you continue this relationship, you may be on the road to heartbreak. Sorry for this kind of info -- this is just from my own experience. Good luck! Remember, if ever in doubt, don't do it. Your gut instinct is telling you what you should do.
2006-10-24 12:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by JB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh please...you need to get a backbone. You need to tell him that you're incredibly unhappy that he choose to go out with Her rather than you on your birthday and you need to know exactly what kind of relationship you are in. You aren't a kid anymore, so stop acting like one. He doesn't like pressure? It's not pressure to want your boyfriend to have a little compassion on your birthday.
Personally, I'd say see ya sweetheart. If he prefers the other girl rather than his girlfriend, then he should have her. Move on to better, more adult men. This guy's not ready for a relationship and uses your visible guilt to put you in your place. The problem is you let him. You lied to him when you said it was OK. It's not ok, you're not happy and frankly he'll use it against you when it's convenient..."Well, you said I could go..."
Happy Birthday. Loose this joker.
2006-10-24 12:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by Allison S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a Scorpio huh? I know, my daughter's b'day is today - and it is a high holy day for her!!! Don't you hate it when others don't realize just how important this day really is to you? If you are interested in this guy, truly interested, I'll give you a little piece of advice that has come in handy with me and my guy... they like honesty. And straight forwardness. They are not mind-readers!! He will appreciate you telling him exactly what you want... And you don't have to be "whiney" about it... just go to him and tell him that you enjoy his company and it would mean a lot to you if he were at your b'day party. Now, if he doesn't come, that is his business and you can tell him that you won't be mad at him if he doesn't come... If he is truly in to you, he will make it a point to be there at some time during the evening...be sure to let him know how late you will be out.. that wasn't the wrong answer, he is merely trying to determine if he can do two things in one night!
2006-10-24 12:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to have a one on one talk with him. Explain to him about how you're uncomfortable him being with another girl so much. Although you're busy, if he's with you... there's no reason for him to be with this other girl all the time.
Also, tell him you'd really appreciate if he'd cancel with her for your birthday because your birthday is a special occasion and you want to share it with someone that's special to you.
2006-10-24 12:21:15 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him if the offer to cancel and go out with you is still on the table. That you've been thinking about it and would like to spend your b-day with him. It sounds like he wanted to be with you, but you shot him down. Give him a chance and see where it goes.
Good Luck.
2006-10-24 12:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to cancel. He asked if you wanted him to cancel so tell him yes I do! I would watch out for this other girl, I mean if you ARE in a relationship then he really shgouldn't be hanging out with this girl all the time. How doyou know that they are not intimate with each other? I would be worried.
2006-10-24 12:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by day dreamin baby 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about all 3 of you go to the club. Then he doesn't have to cancel, and he won't be blowing you off either
2006-10-24 12:21:26 · answer #8 · answered by MaNdYb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him what you just said here ^
I think you sound really reasonable and he should understand.
I have the same problem myself, only that he goes out with his friends to clubs. And all we do is relax at home. One thing he told me , when I protested about it, is that he goes to club with others is because there's nothing better to do for them. But with you it's different, you r his girlfriend, and I think he just wants to be with you alone as much as he can. Maybe you are the only one that he can relax with? and just be himself?
Just tell him that it would be alot to you if he be with u for your birthday, and he can hang out with her at club any other time.
2006-10-24 12:25:34 · answer #9 · answered by Deesa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you're not even in a relationship. This other girl is more of this girlfriend than you. Get our while you still have your pride.
2006-10-24 13:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by Christine C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋