At what age should you tell your child about the birds and bees?

Question

My daughter is almost 10 ans i already asking about the big S word. I was very young when i got pregant with my first child (15) i think manley becasue my mother never explained the process to me. So i want to make sure my children do not make the same mistake that I did. Help !!!

Answer 1

I think that you tell your children about sex as soon as they start asking. However, you give them age-appropriate answers.

For example, if your three-year-old asks, "Where do babies come from?" You might say, "Mommies and Daddies make the babies inside the mommy and when the baby is big enough, it comes out." It's probably all they wanted to know.

By the age of ten, they should be aware of most of the anatomical details, IMHO. I think this is particularly true where girls are concerned because some girls can have menarche as early as age eleven. They MUST be prepared for it.

I can tell you that I was never particularly curious about sex when I was a child. I think the reason was that every time I asked a question, my parents answered it. So, it wasn't turned into a mystery that I just had to solve.

When I was in the fifth grade (circa 1965), I was assigned to write about reproduction in science class. I wrote down everything I knew. My mom got a call from the science teacher. She wanted to know how I knew all of that. I didn't think it was anything special.

Answer 2

Well, well, Let me start off by saying you had a nice group of people answers. carpetrug01 I think had a bad understanding of what you meant when you stated "same mistake you made." That's okay look like everbody else understood. Deirdre0 had a good point too about the child being told according to that childs level, however I don't think the part about the playground is quit right. I don't believe it's painted ugly that's why it's a hot topic. nobudE , hit it with the pics and books. Although I agree I too was had my first child at 14 years. Another at 16 and so on. Of course you want better for your child and you don't want her to find out the same way we did or worst. AIDS is no joke either. I think when she asks you should answer her questions and maybe fill in the blanks about the things she don't know to ask. You'll stand a better chance at her getting better info from you than her getting postive info from a friend of hers that knows even less than she do. It's all over the t.v. , videos, magazines, billboards, movies , commercials, internet, I mean she can't miss it and nither can any of the others. So even though I haven't told my daughter (her father did) I think know would be as good a time as any sense she's asking. I tried to ask my mom too. She said don't be asking me nothing like that you better get your head in them books and off them little nappy headed boys. That made me more curious. The info I got I got from friends and as I went along. Tell Her. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!!

Answer 3

If she is asking then that means, she is curious... then you tell her. But make sure you explain it like you are talking to a 10 year old. So that way she understands the entire process of relationships between two people that care for each other. Don't give her the, "...and you can't do till you get grown excuse." That will make her go out and do it. Any time she has a question, just answer it to the best of your ability. This keeps and open and honest line of communication between the both of you. You want her to feel safe coming to you. Safer than going to some kid her same age and getting answers that could wreck her entire future. That is how the problems start parents not communicating openly with their kids.

Answer 4

A child should be told about what they are asking on a level which they can understand. For example if your four year old asked where babies came from you can say the mommy's tummy. Then leave it at that. You don't need to go into the whole sexual experience. If they ask about how the baby got there you can explain about the seed the daddy leaves there. By ten I think that it is important to explain enough about sex that a child will understand the dangers involved, and will know enough not to cross any boundaries and what consequences might occur. A ten year old girl should have been told already about her period since this may occur at any time. Like I said children are naturally curious and it is better to hear about sex from their parents than hear it described in ugly. graphic terms on the playground. There are a lot of great books that explain this perfectly, check out the local library. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

If she is asking now, then now is the time to tell her. Sit down and ask her what she thinks, what questions she has, let her know the lines of cimmunication are open and there is nothing she needs to worry about. She may have simple questions, she may have hard questions. but as long as she is interested, let her know the informed answers.

Don;t just explain the simple axt of sex to her. Explain the dangers, HIV/STDS's. Don;t hold anything back.

Let her feel comfortable to ask questions and be open with you. You are a great mother and it must have been hard to have a child so early in life. You can also explain to her the importance of a loving family, a support group, and how important it is to wait. I am sure you will do just fine with her and raise an informed and intelligent young woman.

Kutos to you for taking on such a rsposibilty at such a young age. As for the first guy that commented here, sounds like they are probably younger than your daughter. Dont let others negative opinions affect you. Be better than they are.

Have a great day!

Answer 6

We started at about age 5 with our three daughters, and they have not let us down. The oldest is a sophomore in college and has made many wise choices about her sexuality. Two year relationship and STILL makes him wear a condom. Got to love that thought process! The discussion not only involved the process but the choice itself! at 14 we discussed the opportunities of birth control if they so choose. The oldest took us up on that 17 years 8 months and the second one at 17 the third is 15 and thinks we are stupid for even suggesting such a thing.
Best of luck but talking about it is SO important!

Answer 7

from 9 to 10.

Answer 8

Well, to start off, I would just tell her enough to satisfy her curiousity. She may not be ready for the "whole story" yet. I remember when I was 9, I had heard about a 9 year old girl having a baby and I wondered how that could happen, being she was so young. My mom misunderstood my question and I got a WHOLE lot more info than what I bargained for, let me tell ya. lol But just make sure to keep the lines of communication open and make sure she knows that they are open.

Answer 9

Usually, these things are explained in the 5th grade in schools. If you think your daughter is starting through puperty before that, though, it's time for a talk. Don't give her any more information than she requests. Keep it simple. The more complex questions get the more complex answers, along with morality lessons and your opinions. Those are important, too. Children listen. She will come back with more questions and more complex answers if you keep the conversations simple and open. Good luck.

Answer 10

As soon as she asks her first question.....be staright up and honest about it. Theres no reason to be ashamed....shes curious and deserves to know when she asks. Dont matter that shes 10,,she might not totally understand some things you say but in time she will. My son asked me questions around that age as well,,,and im the mom and dad so i had to tell him the best i knew how. And hes 14 now and we can talk about anything,,he doesnt have a problem talkin to me. So tell your daughter as soon as she starts asking. good luck you will be fine.