My father is the old fashioned type of guy that thinks that a guy should ask him before proposing to me. However, because of some decisions that my father has made neither my fiance or I respect him very much, and we both feel that asking him is a sign of respect, not a nessecity. We are already engaged, but have not told anybody yet because we don't want to hurt my father. Should my fiance ask him and then we announce it, so that we keep the peace? Or should we just tell everyone and hope my dad dosen't get too upset? Thanks in advance for your help!!
2006-10-24 10:48:46 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Rather than "asking your fathers permission" have your fiance "ask for your father's blessing". Make it known that you ARE engaged and WILL be getting married, but that you would like him to be happy for you.
THEN announce it to everyone else.
2006-10-24 10:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is right and we are all wrong-the question is how do you want to start your marriage. My mom & grandma (RIP) always say start out how you intend to go on. It's not a matter of judging people but you have to determine how you want to handle things? Will you want your dad to walk you down the aisle? Your fiance can ask for his blessing but you as his child need to make it clear that you have found the right man for you and you had your fiance come to him out of respect. If he gets upset you can take comfort knowing that you did what was right because it was right and that you are truly an adult handling her business
Congratulations on your pending nuptials
2006-10-30 00:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by msijg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you agree with your father's decisions or not, it's still the respectful thing to do. If I were you, and you are worried he would be hurt if you didn't ask him first, then just have your fiance ask him! The last thing you will want is to have any hurt feelings for the start of your marriage.
2006-10-24 20:10:01 · answer #3 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your father will always be your father. And as much as you two do not respect him, it may be best in this situation to take into consideration his feelings on this. It is much easier to have your fiancee ask your father before announcing it to anyone than to have him bitter for the rest of your lives together over something like this.
2006-10-24 19:08:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are stressful enough without the added hurt feelings of a family member. IF your fiance asks your father...do you run the risk of him saying no? If so I would not ask him. If not, why not avoid hurt feelings by asking him. Good luck!
2006-10-24 17:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by LondonNubie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you and your fiance can sit down alone with your father (or your mom and dad) and tell him that you are already engaged and would like his blessing. Then announce to everyone that you are engaged.
2006-10-24 19:03:04 · answer #6 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is the harm in having fiance ask him? It preserves your father's feelings and keeps the peace.
2006-10-25 22:50:20 · answer #7 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is proper that he ask your father, you need not judge your father for what he's done, imagine how hurt he's gonna be if is he's not asked, it could open a can of worms that you are not wanting to open. But that's just my opinion
2006-10-24 19:10:42 · answer #8 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep the peace, have your fiance ask - just easier to go about your business.
2006-10-24 20:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your dad first, but make it an announcement, not a discussion / question. If he loves you, he'll be happy for you both.
2006-10-24 18:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by JAbel 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋