Ok I'm (mexican/Salvadorian) dating this guy( he is white) who is great, I mean I love him and we have a great time together. But this past weekend we were talking about flags and and he made it very clear that he does not think it is right for hispanic people to have their F****N Mexican flags hanging up on their houses and if they want it there so bad that they can go back to the country they came from!?!?!?!
I being a Hispanic person became very upset. I know that He is entitled to his opinion but the fact that he said that about my culture really hurt and offended me and made me very angry. I informed him that I was upset and that as an American citizen it is my right (protected by the constitution) to be able to hang any given flag and that it does not make a person any less american to be proud of their heritage. I dont know how to change his mentalilty. What should I Do? I see this going somewhere but I cant be with a person who does not accept my Culture. HELP?
2006-10-24 09:48:33 · 50 answers · asked by M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it comes down to you and what you think. Do you respect your mind and your views enough to make a change in your friend and in the world. He sounds like a mental midget to me and personally i would'nt let any girlfirend of mine disrespect me or anyone else. You need to to be honest to your boyfriend, tell him thats he's wrong. Don't tell him you disagree because thats half ***, tell him he's simply wrong. He can't possibly know what's going on in the heads of others who are from other countries, who never want to lose the memories of their ancestors and where they came from. America is a great place, but a lot of people come for financial opportunities,education, politics,etc.. and not because where they come from is some terrible place. Makes you think about what else is going on in the mind of this guy. good luck
2006-10-24 10:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is difficult for Americans to understand why people to ANYTHING they can to come to our country becaue it is SOOO GREAT in comparison to the countyr they came from and yet as bad as that country is (enough to have people here illegally) those people have pride and show love to their country.......????? That makes no sence, if the country your from is so wonderful and great that you have to represent it by way of a flag, shirt, whatever, then what made htem come here? Why not just stay there? That is the outlook.
As you stated everyone is entiltled to his/her opinion. Just because he made that comment does not mean he does not accept your culture or heritage, he should be a little more open minded but for some it takes time. Perhaps you can give him the example of his pride being an American being equivalent to someones pride in respect to their culture/heritage. If this is the only incident and you have been long term with no problems thus far.......teach him, if the problem becaomes worse......get out, but the ultimate decision is up to you.
2006-10-24 10:01:29 · answer #2 · answered by nmaponte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also of the Hispanic culture and believe me I would be VERY offended if someone made a comment like that.Like you stated in your question,'I know that He is entitled to his own opinion' you're right but if he has to make that comment he might as well keep it to himself.I would break up with him because seeing as he is your boyfriend,you might be planning to get married when you are older and if he doesn't respect your culture then the relationship is not going to work out because I'm sure you'll have some Mexican items in your house.
2006-10-24 10:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by peacejump 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's clear that you are upset and your have a right to be. To get a bit technical, I'm not sure your flag is your culture. Seems to me he could accept your culture and not the flag. Having said that, it may well be time for a heart-to-heart with the guy. It's pretty odd that a guy would object to exhibition of a flag from another nation and not have prejudice toward non-natives. It's almost a case of his having to accept your, your culture, your family and all as a package. Are you certain he accepts you as a person completely? Examine your relationship very carefully.
As a sort of minimum, a person who'd make that comment seems to me to be bigoted.
2006-10-24 10:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy doesn't except your culture let alone the fact that just because they hang their own flag outside like we all do as is the stars and stripes then you either need to speak with him and let him know how hurt you are by his comment or in the long run it will turn to bitterness on your behalf and at the same time worsen because he can not except you for being who you are.
Make sense. Your choice here is to sit down, talk it out and listen to both sides and try not to get upset and at the same time you have to make it clear to him also that he needs to follow the same proto-cal and try to work this out or in the end things will fall apart. Being with someone when they can not see past their own views is hard and at the same time hurtful to the relationship as well as the fact that he's being a racist and that's not good either. I hope this helps but if it doesn't , in the end it's your choice to remain or let go of him.
2006-10-24 09:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by Chris K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What about those people in Boston who display Irish flags or those in New York who display Italian flags? Are they less American as well? This isn't an issue about displaying a country's flag, it's an issue of discrimination. Unfortunately, your BF does not seem to care what your background and heritage is.
He is jumping on the already overloaded bandwagon, and instead of forming his own opinion, spits out what the other racist insensitive morons before him have already said.
Soon he'll say that if they want to speak Spanish so much, then they should go and do it in their country...
I'm sorry for your conflict. It's difficult to be with someone who can't respect your heritage.
Best of luck.
2006-10-24 09:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by makawao_kane 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you need help with. He is an asshole for saying that. You either except it or lose him. The best way is to hang your home countries flag next to the American flag only lowered in height to show respect. After all you are an American citizen right, why would you insult your citizenship by only flying your heritage.
2006-10-24 10:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by omvg1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that he insulted you and hurt your feelings, but you shouldn't let that ruin your relationship. You should (and he should to) be proud of your culture and accept it. Maybe you should try hanging an American flag next to it to show that you are also proud to be an American citizen.
2006-10-24 09:55:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be able to change his mentalitly. You both can just compromise but this will be something that will always come between ya. he was thought a certain way and so were you. how would you feel if he were trying to make forget about your way of thinking. I am hispanic too, and hate all them "go back to were you came from" comments, but you can't change someone, sorry
2006-10-24 09:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did he say after you told him that you were offended? I can see how he would say something like that and just not think about how it would make you feel. Did he understand where you were coming from and was he reasonable about it? If he's racist then youre going to have serious issues, so you should stop seeing him. But if hes just a man who sometimes doesnt stop to think (or has opinions that maybe he was raised with, but that can change with reason), then sounds like you could work through it. I think its just something you need to talk to him about, and depending on his reaction, you'll have info to make a good decision.
2006-10-24 09:54:13 · answer #10 · answered by now but not quite yet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋