I NEED your Jokes!!!?

Question

I need jokes or riddles that are appropriate for a class room! Please make sure there funnyy!!

Q&A please, for about highschool age.

Answer 1

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....Nice children you've got there, are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins? ..........Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replied the greeter, " I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

Answer 2

Q: If you have 3 apples and you take 2 away how many do you have?

A:2 the 2 you took lol if your doingt it for 3rd graders thay laughed there heads off lol

Answer 3

What age class room? 2nd graders? college age?

Answer 4

i walked down the road and i saw a cricket ball.
i walked a little further down the road and i saw another cricket ball
i walked a little further and i saw a cricket crying.................................


2 snowmen in a field and one said to the other
hey can you smell carrot..

a penguin walked into a bar and said "hey has me Dad been in ere tonight
Barman said I dont know why what does he look like.

Answer 5

just click on my avatar and see which jokes you like best.

Answer 6

I'm not sure if they're all approprita, but just like choose wat u want here r a few:
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well, Son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class; and your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that, and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room, and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
continued
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, Son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep sh*t."

•
Bragging Confession



A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night.”

The priest is silent for a moment, then says, “Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.”

“And I’ll be forgiven?” asks the man.

“No,” replies the priest, “but it will wipe that ******* smirk off your face.”

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CIA Assassin Training


The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.”

The first man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”

The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

------------------------------...

Dead Hunter



A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He screeches to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, followed by a deafening gunshot blast.

“Ok,” the hunter says. “Now what?”


------------------------------...

Drinking Deer Hunters



One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.

As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk driver, so now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out of the lot.

A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then, when the patron abruptly lifted his head, cranked the car up and drove out of the lot like a bat out of hell. The deputy followed him and stopped him promptly. He administered the breath-o-lizer test and it read 0.00.

Confused, the deputy asked the driver what the hell was going on. The driver looked at him innocently and said, "Well, tonight I'm the designated decoy."


------------------------------...

Lawyer and the Devil



An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners."

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what's the catch?"

------------------------------...

A Hell of a Decision



A man dies and goes straight to Hell. The devil greets him and immediately makes him face a big decision: "You may choose which room you wish to enter. Whichever room you choose, the person in that room will switch with you. They'll finally go to heaven after years of waiting and you'll take over until somebody switches with you. So go on, pick a room."

The devil leads him to the first room where someone is tied to a wall and is being whipped over and over again. In the second room is a man strapped to a table being subjected to Chinese water torture. Finally, in the third room is a man sitting in a chair while being pleasured by a beautiful woman.

"I choose this room!" the man says.

"Very well," the devil says. He walks up to the woman and taps her on the shoulder.

"You can go now. I've found you're replacement."

------------------------------...

Bathroom Confusion



A man is sitting on a public toilet when the guy in the stall next to him says, “Hi, how are you?”

“Um, fine,” answers the man.

“What are you up to?” asks the other guy.

“I’m traveling,” the first guy says hesitantly.

“Mind if I stop over?”

“What? Why the hell would you do that?”

“Hey, I’ll call you back,” says the other guy. “The dipshit in the next stall keeps talkin’ to me.”


------------------------------...

Super Bowl Husband



A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.

The guy sitting next to him says, “Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” says the first man. “Couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”

“Nope,” replies the second guy. “Everyone’s at the funeral.”


------------------------------...

Lawyer's Vacation Lover



For three straight years, a young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at the same country inn, several times per year. During his last visit he'd finally managed to seduce the innkeeper's gorgeous daughter, so he could wait to go there again.

Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about us and that I was pregnant, we sat up all night talking and talking and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."


------------------------------...

Lawyer Hater



A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, “All lawyers are assholes!” He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.

Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, “Take that back.”

The biker says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”

“No, I’m an asshole.”


A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

A blonde gets in an elevator and sees a man standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir," to which he replies, "S-H-I-T, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice — T stands for 'Thank,' G stands for 'goodness,' I stands for 'it's,' and F stands for 'Friday.' The man replies, "S stands for 'Sorry,' H stands for 'honey,' I stands for 'it's,' and T stands for 'Thursday.'

One day a blonde suspects her boyfriend is cheating on her so she buys a gun. When she gets home she is surprised to see her boyfriend with another girl. So she puts the gun to her own head and the boy friend begs for her not to do it but the blonde laughs hysterically and says "shut up your next". LOL thats funny


A blonde gets in an elevator and sees a man standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir," to which he replies, "S-H-I-T, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice — T stands for 'Thank,' G stands for 'goodness,' I stands for 'it's,' and F stands for 'Friday.' The man replies, "S stands for 'Sorry,' H stands for 'honey,' I stands for 'it's,' and T stands for 'Thursday.'

One day a blonde suspects her boyfriend is cheating on her so she buys a gun. When she gets home she is surprised to see her boyfriend with another girl. So she puts the gun to her own head and the boy friend begs for her not to do it but the blonde laughs hysterically and says "shut up your next". LOL thats funny


wat do u do if a blond throws a grenade at u?
easy... pull out the pin and throw it back.

how does a blond turn on the light in the morning?
she opens the car door.

2 blonds are yelling at eachother and a brunette is standing in the middle,what is the brunette doing?
translating...

how do you kill a blond under water?
put a srcatch and sniff sicker on th bottem of the pool.

a blonde, a brunette, and a red-head walk up to a mirror. Ifyou trell a lie to the mirror then you will be sucked in, but if you tell the truth you get a prize.
Brunette walks up to the mirror, "I'm the prettiest girl in the world" she says
-she gets sucked in.
The red-head walks up to the mirror, "I'm the smartest girl in the world" she says
-she gets sucked in.
The blonde walks up to the mirror, and says "Um. . . I think. . . "
-She gets sucked in.


blond walks into a bar and sits next to a man who's watching the news. A man is trying to commit suicide by jumping off a builidng.
The man turns and says: I bet you 200 dollars he'll jump.
The blond acepts the bet and they each lay 200 dollars on the table.
The suicidal jumper jumps.
The man turns to the blond and says : I can't take your money. I saw the news earlier today and I knew he would jump.
The blond replies: So did I, but I didn't think this guy would be stupid enough to jump again


A Blonde and her Redheaded friend walks by a gentleman eating a bowl of Cheerios outside on his back porch. The Red Head noticed and said to the man "Good morning sir! I hope you enjoy your cereal this morning!" He nods to her, smiles, and continues eating. A moment later the Blonde notices the man eating a bowl of Cheerios and exclaims (rather loudly), "Boy oh Boy...look! He's eating a bowl of BABY DONUTS!"

What is a Blonde's mating call? "I'M DRUUUUNNKKK!!!"

What did the Blonde say to her pregnant friend? "Is it yours?"


A blonde sights a horse and jumps on it. It starts bucking like crazy! She doesn't know what to do and she falls off. Her foot is caught on the saddle, and her face is being dragged on the ground. In despair, she starts crying.....

when the Wal-Mart manager comes out and unplugs the ride!


A formerly blonde accountant was driving through the country, fed up with all the blonde jokes she hears. She had just dyed her hair to avoid any more jokes and was determined to prove she's smart. She sees a farmer with a flock of sheep and sees her opportunity. She stops, rolls down the window and beckons the farmer over to the car. He approaches and she poses a deal to him.

"If I can guess the number of sheep you have, can I take one?"

"Certainly," the farmer says. The woman jumps out of the car, stands at the edge of the field for about ten seconds, and then gives the farmer the exact number of sheep in the flock. Impressed, he confirms she's correct and offers any sheep in the field.

She walks into the field, and wanders through the flock for a few minutes. Finally she finds the one she desires and picks up her prize. As she walks towards her car, the farmer stops her.
"Ma'am," he says, "if I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"


A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. The man thought ''how weird.''
A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.
As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ''What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?''
The blonde looked up at the man and said, ''Well, you see, there's this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, 'You've got mail,' but when I come out here to check, I don't have any.''


Three guys work as window washers, a Scottish guy, a Mexican, and a blonde guy. They had lunch on the scaffold so they could continue working right after finishing their lunch.

The Scottish guy opened his lunch and he had haggis. He yelled, "If I get more haggis tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off!"

The Mexican guy opened his lunch and he had a tamale.
He yelled, "If I get another tamale tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off!"

The blonde guy opened his lunch and he had a ham and cheese sandwich.
He yelled, "If I get another ham and cheese sandwich tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off!"

The next day, they went off to work with their lunches again. Lunchtime came and they opened their lunches. Sure enough, they each got the same thing they hated again. They all jumped off after each other.

At the funerals, the Scottish man's wife sobbed and said, "If I had known he hated haggis, I'd have packed him something else!"

The Mexican's wife cried and said, "If I had known he hated tamales, I'd have made something else for him!"

The other two men's wives turned their head to look at the blonde guy's wife. The blonde guy's wife said, "What are you looking at me for? He packs his own lunch!"


What's the diffrence between a bnlode and a:
Greyhound bus? Fewer people have ridden the bus
Bowling Ball? Can only put 3 fingers in the ball

What do you call 30 bnlodes standing shoulder to shoulder? A wind tunnel
What do you call a bnlode who has dyed her hair? Artificial intelligence.
Bnlode, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the tooth Fairy are competing to see who is the smartest. Who wins?
The bnlode, the others are imaginary



female dictionary...?
1. yes= no
no= yes
maybe= never
i'm sorry= you deserve it!
we want it= i want it
do as you wish= you'll pay for this
we need to talk= i need to make a complaint
go away= stay
stay= scram
i'm not nervous= and if i am, it's your fault, idiot!
you're so masculine= you're sweating and need a shave
be romantic, turn off the lights= i'm fat!
this kitchen in impractical= i want a new house
i want new curtains= ...and carpet, furniture, washing machine...
i heard something= you're almost asleep.
how was your day?= i'll ask you for an expensive gift...
how much do you love me= i did something that you won't like
i hate my butt= tell me that you adore me!
am i fat?= say that i look pretty
i need a new pair of shoes for the wedding= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of black.
you need to learn how to communicate= just agree with everything i say
nothing= everything
everything= my PMS is at its peak
nothing, really= you're and idiot!


female dictionary...?
1. yes= no
no= yes
maybe= never
i'm sorry= you deserve it!
we want it= i want it
do as you wish= you'll pay for this
we need to talk= i need to make a complaint
go away= stay
stay= scram
i'm not nervous= and if i am, it's your fault, idiot!
you're so masculine= you're sweating and need a shave
be romantic, turn off the lights= i'm fat!
this kitchen in impractical= i want a new house
i want new curtains= ...and carpet, furniture, washing machine...
i heard something= you're almost asleep.
how was your day?= i'll ask you for an expensive gift...
how much do you love me= i did something that you won't like
i hate my butt= tell me that you adore me!
am i fat?= say that i look pretty
i need a new pair of shoes for the wedding= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of black.
you need to learn how to communicate= just agree with everything i say
nothing= everything
everything= my PMS is at its peak
nothing, really= you're and idiot!



Do you know that...?
1. english is hard language? read this....

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic
protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical
structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self
rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after!



You know you are HAVING a bad day when you get a PAPER cut from your SUICIDE note?
1.


A teenage girl is babysitting for her neighbors and despretely needs the money. Later that night the boy she was babysitting called from up stairs
"Please come up!" She went up and went into his dark bedroom.
"Will you sleep with me, I lost my teddy bear and I can't get to sleep without it." The boy said. "Sure she replied and laid down next to him.
"Will you take off your shoes, my teddy bear doesn't wear shoes." the boy said.
"well I don't know." she replied.
"if you don't I'll tell my mommy and daddy and you'll get fired!" he replied. So she took off her shoes.
"will you take off your shirt, my teddy bear doesn't wear a shirt. If you don't I'll tell mommy and daddy and you'll get fired!" the boy asked. So she took off her shirt.
"Will you take off your pants because my teddy bear doesn't wear pants. If you don't I'll tell my mommy and daddy and you'll get fired!" The boy said. So she took off her pants.
"Will you take off your underware because my teddy bear doesn't wear underwear. If you don't i'll tell my mommy and daddy and you'll get fired!" So she took off her underwear.
She laid there next to him, naked. Then he asked,"My teddy bear lets me stick my finger in his belly button. Can I put my finger in your bellybutton? If you don't let me I'll tell mommy and daddy and you'll get fired." She said sure then a minute later she jumped and said,
"That's not my belly button!"
The boy replied,
"And that's not my finger either!"
1.

Underwater

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep
without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"
1.


Two guys walking in the woods,one stops and bends down to look at something,just them a poisonous snake leaps out and and bites the guy on his privates,the other guy don't know what to do,so he runs to town to get a doctor,but the doctor is busy with an accident victim,he gives him a scaple and tells him to cut where the snake had bit the guy and them suck out the poison,the guy takes off running back in the woods,finally reaches the other guy ,well,well,what did the doctor say,the doctor said you are going to die.
1.


The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he said he didn''''t want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.Finally, when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold."No," the inmate said, "just get it over with." "Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn''''t even want a special last meal!"The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."The guard nodded and told him to go ahead. The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."
1.


How would you annoy people in a school?
-Bring a llama to all of your classes. When someone asks why, just shake your head and mutter furiously.
-When in exams, every five minutes tear up your paper, scatter it in the air, scream MERRY CHRISTMAS, then ask for a new peice of paper. Repeat until you are asked to leave.
-Write a really long essay, REAALY long, and in the middle somewhere put something like 'I am Elvis' or 'Death to squirrels'
-Burst out laughing, stop abruptly, then stare suspiciously at everyone
-Insist that all teachers much refer to you as 'My Lord'
-Whenever someone opens a door, scream and faint

How would you annoy people in a cinema?
-Discuss really loudly what a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Jar Jar Binks would be like
-Throw things at the people in front of you. When they turn around, point at the person next to you
-Try really badly to imitate an American accent, even if there are no American people in the actual film.
-When something really important's about to happen, like when they name the killer, scream LUKE! I AM YOUR FATHER! and roll, laughing hysterically, down the aisle
-Gasp after everything
-Ask an usher or an attendant if they are expecting any turbulence
-Shout 'Did you hear that?!?!?!?' after every sentence someone says
How would you annoy people in a library?
-Ask someone where the nearest toilets are, then 'SHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!' them when they try to answer
-Gather loads of books, and walk around dropping one occasionally. When someone asks you what your doing, whisper 'Leaving a trail.....'
-Horde all the Harry Potter books in a corner. When people walk past, announce shiftily 'Nothing to see here....'
-Put a bright yellow pair of pants on your head and run through the library yelling THEY'VE GOT ME!
-Rugby tackle anyone turning a page. Explain you were trying to save them from getting a paper cut.
-Wear a top hat and bid every one a good day in a really bad English accent
-FLAMETHROWER!!!!! MUHAHAHAHHA!

How would you annoy people in the street?
-Ask them for their autographs. Refuse to take no as an answer.
-Try and take their jackets
-Try to sell random items eg. an egg or your sister/bother
-Pretend to die dramatically in front of people. When they bend down, shout YOINK, grab their shoes, and leg it.....
-Ask them where the nearest country is
-Put on an eyepatch and leer at people

How would you annoy the guy on the other end on the phone whlle ordering a pizza?
-End every sentence in 'because that's what the Matrix wants me to order'
-Laugh when they talk
-Ask for cavier. When they say they haven't got it, gasp and slam the phone down
-Rap your order
-Ask them to guess what you want
-Alternate between a really high voice and a really low one. Make weird screeching sounds

my personal favourite, how would you annoy people in an elevator?
-Block the doorway with a desk. Ask people if they have an appointment.
-Charge elevator tax
-Scream everytime the door closes
-Put red paint around the hatch, sit in a corner, point upwards and whisper 'I think they want in'
-Hum the LotR theme tune. When someone tries to get in, scream YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
-Sing the Spiderman theme tune. Everytime the word Spider comes up, yell it at the top of your lungs
1. Source(s):
quizilla


Little Billy was two years old and completely bored and out of control. It was a rainy, windy, blustery day, and he was cooped up inside as his mother was trying very hard to clean the house for an upcoming dinner party. her day was going badly not only because Billy was like an out of control whirlwind, but because the Taco Bell burritos and chalupas from the night before were wreaking havoc with her innards.

Billy came tearing into kitchen, wailing like a fire engine, and his mother, near her wits end saw the bag of red balloons on the counter. She blew one up and tossed it to her little wildman.
"Here, Billy," she said, "Play with this, but do it quietly, okay?"

Billy was happy with the balloon, and he smiled ear to ear when he thanked his mommy and ran out of the room.
He kicked that balloon from room to room for over an hour until he kicked it right into the toilet. He didn't feel like fishing it out, so he simply closed the lid and went tearing around the house as he had been doing before.

Shortly thereafter, the Taco bell from the night before became too much for Billy's mom, who ran as fast she could into the bathroom, and just made it as it all came rushing out in a stinking liquid mess. She never noticed the balloon in the toilet. When she was done she was flabbergasted and amazed at the amount of gunk there was in the toilet. She became alarmed and called her Doctor who agreed to rush right on over.

The doctor looked at her, looked at the mess in the toilet, back at her, then he took out a pen and began poking at the floating orb of congealing crap. He poked just a little too much and the balloon exploded, showering them both with the smelly remnants of last night's taco Bell mission. The doctor shook his head and sighed, "Thirty years as a doctor," he said, "and I thought I'd seen it all. But that...that...that was the first time I have ever seen an exploding fart!"