I am 27 and have had custody of my daughter (6) since she was 1. I have found it increasingly difficult to find a women that understands my circumstance. It seems as though the women I find care about their children and themselves and my daughter and I have to take a backseat to their needs. How do I change this or am I just looking in the wrong place?
2006-10-24 09:21:56 · 23 answers · asked by Dustin27 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sorry but i think you should put your companionship needs aside, and continue being a dad 100% of the time for your daughter. Any woman who falls in love with you is going to see your daughter as baggage plain and simple. Sounds like your already experiencing this.
No your daughter does not need another mom, she's lucky enough to have you, you have custody of her meaning she is where she should be, with her daddy. Just love and spend as much time as you can with her. When she goes off to collage, then jump back in the seen, should you want.
You sound like a great father who could be on the verge of making a huge mistake trying to get remarried. Your daughter will not react positive to losing time with her dad (trust me it will happen) she will start to act out to try to regain your attention.
Thank God you seem to already have notice this, most people are so stupid or looking out for there own needs that they forget about there children. just go to the search bar and type in "step children" to hear how some people treat there step kids, it's sick, don't risk your little princess.
Stay strong, keep doing a great job raising your daughter!!!!
2006-10-24 21:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably looking in the wrong places. You wouldn't want a woman with or without kids that thinks only of herself. I would think a guy that actually got custody would be a pretty good guy. Treat your daughter like a princess and women will see that. I know that I think of how men will be as fathers as part of their attractiveness. Heck your daughter may work better than a puppy for picking up women.
2006-10-24 16:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by #2 in the oven 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably looking in the wrong place. You have needs too! Anyone you see that doesn't respect you, doesn't belong with you. You can't change a person, so I'd say look elsewhere... there are others out there, may be hard to find someone that will meet your desires, but I'm sure you will find somebody. I didn't think I ever would, and my grandmother told me it would happen when I least expect it. it definitely did! Weird how it works out. i wish you the best.... don't give in to those who don't treat you or your daughter right! You seem like a good father!
2006-10-24 16:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire single fathers, raising a child is hard for anyone, period. Do not stand for women who only care about their kids, that's immature. My advice is when you start dating someone, openly tell them that you are a package and are looking for someone who is going to accept you and your daughter. In other words, someone that is going to accept your daughter as her own. And keep that communication ongoing...once they meet, ask both your daughter and potential person how they feel about each other (separately). Make sure you stand your ground and let that person know that your baby is just as important as the other person's baby. Sometimes guys think it turns a woman off if they start talking kids from day one, but it really doesn't. We, women appreciate a man that's up front and open. Don't give, there's still women out there looking for the same thing as you. Good luck.
2006-10-24 16:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are looking in the wrong place and possibly looking for the wrong thing. You can't expect a woman with children to put you and your child ahead of their own children. You can expect an equal share in a caring relationship. You can find a person who will treat you child as well as she treats her own and will love you as an addition to her family.
If you are constantly taking a backseat, if your daughter is treated as less than the other persons children, then you are in the wrong relationship.
2006-10-24 17:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it takes a time. Make sure you don't marry any women who dose not treat your daughter like her own. Many women are like that Many men ARE like that. A lot of men do not put another womens children 1st. Personally i have children i won't date a man with kids BECAUSE i don't want my kids put 2ed to the mans blood born children. I don't want to be mom to another child. I know it sounds cruel and nasty most women won't admit they feel that way about single dad. HOWEVER I ALSO totally respect a man who is there for his kids every day i do admire that if i had no kids i would gladly take on being mom to daughter of the man i loved.
2006-10-24 16:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You keep trying and god bless you. Your priority is your daughter and you and she are a package deal. There are women out there who respect that (I was one of them) and you just have to have patience. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate and compromise.
Just remember that when you do find her, you will also need to have 1:1 time with her alone. The package deal is essential, but so is building a relationship. It has to be 1:1 also.
Lastly, it's important that your daughter knows that you can share your feelings between her and a woman. My step-son tried to sabatoge my relationship with his father until he realized I wasn't going anywhere. He was 4 at the time - now he's 26 and going to be a father himsself. (Ahhhh, payback's a *****...).
2006-10-24 16:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by Allison S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say how proud you must feel with having custody of your daughter, don't know the circumstances...but needless to say you are definitely not one of those dead beat fathers! I think you are commendable for what you are doing and if women you date can't see the understanding / love / affection / determination that is in your heart then they are not worth dating. Good luck, you will find your princess.
2006-10-24 16:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It may be their natural instinct to care more for their children than yours......or maybe they're just shallow.
Put your daughter first and forget those bitches that make you AND your daughter feel that way!
Wait until you find the right woman to bring around your little girl. Use the others for what you need and keep them away from your daughter.
2006-10-24 16:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't fault a woman for putting her children first. Would you put your daughter on the back burner for a woman? I hope not. I'm sure you'll meet someone one day who respects the responsibility you've taken on, maybe a woman with no kids of her own or a woman with older children, which would allow them more flexibility when pursuing a relationship.
2006-10-24 16:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋