Very strange form of BPD / Depression???

Question

I am diagnosed as BPD with depression. However when people look at me, I am like a super happy person in the world. Yes, sometimes I cried out of the blue and suicidal thought striked but not most of the time. I sleep well, eat well, no significant weight gain/loss. I don't think of suicide everyday. I believe in gray area, not just black and white. I don't fear of abandonment. I smile and talk to people (but not talkative). I did not lose a job, no immediate family member died. I do well dress myself. I don't call up friends in the middle of the nights. I don't think I am a super energized person. So, how could i be having depression? (Is it some type of denial?Oops you got me :) But basically, I was described only very little does of Zyprexa (0.25) and Tegretol (800). No antidepressant (how could that be if I am really depressed?) Any idea, anyone, serious, no pranks please. Have a good day! ;)

A very mild abnormality was seen on EEG test though...something relate to temporal lobe thing?

Answer 1

How were you diagnosed as BP? This condition is not easy to diagnose. They usually look at your lifelong history first, then evaluate your current behaviors. There are two types of BP (BP-1 and BP-2. One is more severe than the other. The severe one includes a psychotic feature and more noticeable mood swings. However, there is also a mixed type of BP too. So it is not easy to diagnose. Make sure you have a reputable psychologist or psychiatrist and if you're not comfortable with the diagnosis or treatment, please get a second opinion. Usually the symptoms are the mood swings-the "high" which manifests as a feeling of euphoria or feeling that you are on top of the world and have few inhibitions. There are episodes of extreme behaviors like shopping sprees, promiscuity, rapid or pressured speech, and very little sleep. The "lows" are very dangerous because you feel so low and hopeless that you can be irrational and have thoughts of self-harm. These behaviors are not present everyday and can appear without warning. If you are having true depression or even BP disorder, it's not likely you are in denial. It's there and hard to cover up. BP disorder may require a few trials of meds because what works for one may not work for another. In most cases, an antidepressant or even two, one which controls the serotonin and one specific to the norepinepherin hormones in your brain is required. These hormones control mood. Then you may need an additional drug that levels out moods. Its not easy to get to a manageable level, but it can be achieved. Again, it you're not satisfied with your treatment, get a second or third opinion.

Answer 2

I have no answer to your question, but the way u feel are just what i have been going through since i became a teenager.... I too are for most people a super-happy person, with apparently no worries and always kind to everyone. The other symptoms that u write about are the same to me as well...I've never experienced those sorts of problems....

I've been suicidal, many times, but most of the times I'm just feeling happy to be alive.

But not since i was 12-13 years old ( now i am 23) have i visited any doctors about it, so i have no idea whether it's BPD i have or whatever... But, I feel i have the same symptoms as you, so then maybe i too have a bipolar disease or whatever it's called....

Sorry i don't have any answers to your problem, but you might have helped me becoming aware of mine.... can i ask you did it help to see a doctor? should i do that too?

Good luck with your disease anyway

Answer 3

You probably had a decrease in the size of the medial temporal lobe which is often present in BPD. As for the depression, with the BPD and you do think of suicide sometimes and do get the crying out of the blue spells would indicate some depression maybe mild, but nontheless depression. Just stay in touch with your doctor and keep him/her informed of any changes you might experience.

Answer 4

First of all, know you have the right to another opinion. BPD is one of the current diagnosis of choice by many of my collegues. Second, educate yourself...you obviously have a computer, use it, lol. WebMD, Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, etc. have excellent information of BPD.

Now...surprise...BPD comes in colors. I am being light on purpose. What I mean is, there is more than ONE kind. One kind, often called primarly, manifests itself on long periods of time on one side or the other and can even go into psychosis like manifestations. Another is commonly referred to as bipolar II and is not as severe; these people often "rapid cycle", going from feeling depressed to manic behavior (not sleeping, risky actions with money or sex, etc.). There are other varying degrees.

One thing is, if, after you educate yourself and get a second opinion, if your diagnosis is still BPD it is imperative that you take your medications. You may feel, while manic, that you are fine and can take on the world...but this is a symptom of the disorder. Unfortunately a lot of people stop taking their medication during this time and this can result in WORSE mania (remember the psychosis) or in severe and debilitating depression. It really helps to have someone help you and remind you that you must take it.

Good luck...hope the second opinion is better...but even if not, please know, many, many people, those you pass on the street, famous people, historical people, have BPD...and they do or did fine.

Answer 5

Yes, Get a second opinion. In todays society we love to lable people and we kill for an easy fix. I am a firm believer in chemical therapy, yes, there are people out their that need drugs to make them like the rest of us but I also believe that majority of people on antidepressants are on it because that's the easy way out.

Again, talk to your primary physician or a Doctor that you respect and like and ask them who they recommand for you to see as your psychologist. And take it from there. Yes, your best defense is self education, get actively involved in your care rather than taking a passive stance. You have a right to ask your doctor why he thinks you have BPD and explain why you are questioning his diagnosis. There is a right way of asking everything.

Sometimes when people go to the doctors office they are a bit nervous and the doctor is a bit hasty and as a combination of these situation they don't always catch on to the whole story and set out on the wrong track. Remember there is a lot of subjective information they use to diagnose you.

It's your life! Your are not in denial, it's normal, you should question a lable if it is not answering your questions.

Answer 6

BPD can mean Bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. They are different. It is difficult to tell which one you are speaking of. One might assume because of the meds you indicated that you are talking about Bipolar. However, fluctuating suicide thoughts are common in borderline personality.

Medication is the best known treatment for bipolar.

DBT is the best known treatment for people with borderline personality disorder who have frequent self harm issues. Otherwise, if you are a higher functioning borderline, there are other effective treatments such as transference based psychodynamic therapy, mentalization based therapy, etc.

There is hope out there, just keep reaching out and advocating for yourself.

Answer 7

From what I know about Borderline Personality Disorder, one can also be depressed. So, I'm wondering if you received an official diagnosis of Borderline? However, comorbidity of personality disorders and major depression has been estimated at 20% to 50% of inpatients and 50% to 85% of out-patients with a current major depressive disorder have an associated personality disorder. Cluster B personality disorders, in particular borderline (10-30%).

Answer 8

My husband is also bipolar with chronic clinical depression related to his cerebral palsy. He uses no medicine most of the time; just a daily dose of St. John's Wort. He's the funniest clown you've ever seen most of the time, but he says he's considered suicide since he was 11 - and he's 40 now. I don't know why your doctor chose your dosages, of course. You might ask him about St. John's wort, as it does help my husband a lot. I think the happy/talkative thing you mention has to do with the manic side of the bipolar problem.

Answer 9

Bipolar works differently than major depression. Bipolar disorder is related to membrane instbility whereas major depression is related to neurotransmitter depletion. Two different causes, two different treatments.

Addendum: Bipolar disorder is a biologic disease, not psychological. Counseling and psychotherapy may help you cope but it will NOT treat the underlying disorder.

Answer 10

Just a quick question: Have you had your thyroid checked? Our thyroid's can play havoc with our emotions, weight, .......everything. And if you are not happy with your doctor's orders: talk to him/her. You have the right to know WHY you are on meds. Good Luck dear!