I'm the groom, and the only two bridesmaid that aren't cooperating are in my family (sister and cousin). they are the only two girls in my family on the brides side and they will not help with anything! they have postponed getting sized for thier dresses until i threatened that they will be removed from the party, and now instead of picking up thier dresses they lied to my bride's face and said that they did, and didn't! My bride did... HELP! what do i do to fix the problem without causing a family fued!
2006-10-24 08:53:22 · 24 answers · asked by Tim 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Boot them from the wedding party. You guys don't need this. If they really wanted to be a part of your day then they would have been more cooperative. You already warned them so it shouldn't be a surprise if they are asked to leave. You can give them another job like doing a reading during the ceremony.
2006-10-24 08:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by bustylaroo99 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are a bit stuck. You sound like you want to be loyal to your family, yet you see what how this part of your family is hurting your bride. A wedding, is if anything, a day for the bride. Depending on how far away the wedding is, and if suitable replacements can be recruited, I'm afraid your sister and cousin will have to be left out of the wedding.
You are starting a new life in a new family. The one that you are building with your fiancee. If your old family is obstructing, or even sabotaging your wedding plans, then they have no right to be a part of them.
You will end up with a family feud over this. Be strong, and be the rock for your bride.
2006-10-24 09:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by Stubblejumper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I wouldn't be concerned about causing a feud or hurting their feelings. I mean they obviously don't care that they are being a major pain in your *** and lying straight to your brides face. It doesn't sound like they care at all about your wedding. If they were at all interested in being there for you and your bride they would be more than willing to do their fair share and they definitely wouldn't lie about completing tasks they haven't. I would just tell them that you don't have the time nor the patience to deal with immature bridesmaids. Then I would tell them they can take a seat in the pews with the rest of the guests. It's not fair to you and especially not your Bride to have to deal with crap like this before your wedding. If your mother or Aunt has an issue with you removing them from the wedding, simply tell them they obviously didn't care about standing up in it and didn't want to fulfill their duties, so they can sit in the pews with them. After all, this is your big day and no one should be interfering with the day going off without a hitch especially not your sister or cousin.
*** I would definitely have some words with them about lieing to your soon to be bride!!*** They obviously have no respect for her or you!!****
Good Luck and Congratulations:)
2006-10-24 10:59:51 · answer #3 · answered by **hope/faith**1744 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your bride pick them because she is close to them, or more as a gesture to include girls from your side of the family? If it was a gesture-dump them from the wedding. They deserve it for the way they are acting, and I doubt anyone on EITHER side would blame you or your future wife. It sounds like they could care less, and if that is the case, they are only going to cause more problems. I shutter to think what chaos they could start on the wedding day. If your bride is close to them and really WANTS them in the wedding, SHE needs to talk to them & find out what is going on.
2006-10-24 09:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is remove them from the bridal party. If they do not want to cooperate, then the duties are obviously not important to them...the last thing that you and your bride need is extra stress, so just remove those stressers and move on...you will be greatful that you did in the end. Also, did you ever think that they might be acting that way because they don't want to be in the wedding party but don't want to tell you?? Talk to them...if they beat around the bush just say thanks, but no thanks and be done with it...
2006-10-24 11:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to be worrying about this neither does your bride. Ask them to step down. Do not let them be in the party? Its your day don't let the family give you any bs about them being your family. Family should NOT treat you that way! Good luck and God Bless your wedding much happiness to you in your future. PS be strong don't let anyone tell you n your bride what to do.
2006-10-24 09:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't let those two ruin this special time for you and your bride. Tell them to straighten up or you will ask them to no longer be a part of the wedding.
2006-10-24 09:15:21 · answer #7 · answered by Just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems kind of obvious that your sister and cousin don't want to be in the wedding. Who would you like to be happier on your wedding day? Your bride to be or your sister/cousin. Take a real close look at your answer before you get married
2006-10-24 09:04:33 · answer #8 · answered by toomanybaddogs 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Beat them!! Hit them with whips and chains! Ahhh... if only we could. YOU need to sit them down and ask what the hell their problems are. Do they not want to be in the wedding? Are they jealous? Are they having money problems??
I think a lot of it is a jealously factor, you getting all this attention and presents... and people don't think "hey, they are paying for this whole day" they just see their own selfish side to it.
My brother is driving me crazy, because he is trying to grow a ZZ top beard for the wedding to annoy me. My mother however is stepping in before I pay to have someone brake his legs. I would also talk to your mother about this issue. And keep their ages in mind... they sound really young.. but if they are 30, then perhaps you should seek professional help!! LOL
2006-10-24 09:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Kick 'em to the curb. Seriously, don't worry about their feelings because they obviously aren't worrying about yours. Bring in two more from the bride's family...and then tell your two that if they cause any more sh*t then they won't even be invited to the wedding.
2006-10-24 10:15:00 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋