death is very tempting (should i end my life ?)?

Question

hi im nick ive answerd and asked a load of q,s on here but well as u may know i suffer from bad acne and i dont have to many friends (2) which one of hits me anyway and no one realy pay attention to me everyone in my class makes fun of me espechially the girls and my family neva really pay attention to me i have ran away 3 times im only 14 i gert beat up everyday and i just feel theres nothing left for me i hav helped loads of people in ym life throught there troubles but i cant seem to get my self through this i mena looking bk at my life i see that i neva really fitted in i always listend to romantic sad music not rock like everypone else and i would whcth sad films not like evryone else i would be hard working at school not like everyone else god sake i was well what was i mena am a geecky looser i just always hated my life i mena look at my face its horriblre i know true beauty lies inside thtats how i lok for girls thier personality but know girl feels that way bout me oh nvm soz

Answer 1

Hi Nick

I know you have a lot of answers already but I hope you get to reading right through to me!! Please ignore some of the idiots who type stupid answers because they can hide here. It is the same as the people who make you feel bad at school - they hide their own insecurities by picking on someone elses.

Now, to the crux of the matter. You have acne. Badly it seems. This is horrible but something which will pass. One of my sons is unable to achieve continence and has to cope with the constant possibility of messing himself. He is not your age yet but has found the last 4 years of school difficult and challenging because of the way others see him and increasingly the way he sees himself. And this is why I am telling you about my son - the real problem you have here Nick is how you feel about yourself. It is not all about the acne. You feel different from others - you would still feel that if you didnt have acne, but it might be a bit easier to cope with of course!

The things you say about yourself make you sound like an interesting person - not a sad one or a looser. You are at an age where everyone feels the things you are feeling but some feel them more strongly than others. I cannot stress enough that you must go to speak to either a dr or school counsellor or other person that you trust. You will be taken seriously and you will be valued.

Ultimately, you sound as if you are going to grow into an interesting and confident young man - even if you dont believe me right now!! Take control of your own future - do the things you enjoy even if no one else is doing them (you will find out later that lots of people were doing the same things but not telling others so as to fit in!) and talk to someone urgently about how desperate you are feeling. The internet is not the place where you will find answers, tho you may find support here.

Good luck and very best wishes to you Nick.

Answer 2

I felt the same way at 14.

You seem to have taken a few issues and compounded them to an overall. I see your issues as:

Acne- this is obviously bothering you a lot judging from the questions you have asked. there are a lot of treatments available, see a doctor.

Getting beat up - Who is doing this? if it is at school, contact your school headteacher or counsellor. If it is outside school contact the police.

Feeling that you are not valued by others.- You say you have two friends. Two good friends are a lot more valuable than many casual acquaintances.

Low self esteem and possible medical depression - this is not surprising give the above problems. You may need medical treatment for a while.

What you can do.
- Get medical advice for your acne and depression
- Seek couselling to discuss these issues. This is usually available free at school or through church groups.
- Report the physical violence. Enduring it and saying nothing doesn't help anyone including you (I know this from experience)
- Join groups / clubs that interest you (eg. drama, sport, chess, youth groups, outdoor camping etc) Then you will meet more people who are like you.
- If school is the location of most of your problems and you need a fresh start, ask your parents if you can change schools. This can make a huge difference. It would be a good idea if you did some of the other suggestions first to minimise the risk of 'taking your problems with you'
- Find an adult you can trust and confide in. If your parents aren't suitable try a coach, teacher, youth leader or other relative
- Remember there has never been another person like you and there never will be. You have some great qualities (to quote you: "i know true beauty lies inside " and "i hav helped loads of people ")

I hope that helps.

Answer 3

No that is not what you need to do.
First you need to go to the doctors and get some medication for youe skin and ask your doctor to arrange family therapy and to arrange counselling for you.
Once you leave school in a few years time and you are working life will change for the good.
I except you are very shy and when you go to work you will change if you work somewhere where none of your school peers are you can make up a new personality for yourself.
One bit of advice from an older woman who was bullied by her mother, father, brother & sister, yes I am talking abot me. I was bullied at school too.
Plus my 1st husband tried setting me on fire and stabbed me, my 2nd husband used to shout at me all the time and get drunk, I left them all and have no contact with any off them.
I now have a partner who is very good, I now even though very skint have a much better life. What I am telling you one day you find the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes I also suffer with depression but no where near as bad as it was and I take medication for it every day.
What I am hoping you can get out of this is, If we were all the same then life would be very boring.

Here is some thing I would like you to think about....

If I always do,
What I always did,
I will always get,
What I always did!

May be you do need to change abit, do it slowly, 1 step at a time.
As a fly trapped in a spiders web of life, tackle the small problems, 1 at a time. Until all the small problems are gone then start on the big problems in life.

Answer 4

Hi Nick! You sound as though you are having a really tough time at the moment. I suffered from spots for the first time at age 30 and know how hard it was for me, without all those 14 year old hormones running around.I don't envy you at all.However, please don't do anything silly. Life is too short anyway and in a few years time you will have gotten over this awful stage of your life. I was terribly depressed when I was about 17 and felt low all the time, I couldn't see a way out of my dismal life> I had been dumped by a guy who I worshipped but who was a total bastard. I had no-one to talk to and felt like I think you do at the moment.All I can say is that things do get better and you learn from everything that you go through. One day you will be able to give advice to someone else who is feeling like you and be able to talk from the heart. Go and see your GP and have a good chat to him about how you are feeling and what effect your acne has on your life.He should be very understanding.Otherwise get in touch with The Samaritans or Childline, they deal with all sorts of problems like yours and sometimes it just helps to talk to anyone who will listen. I hope I have helped, I have so much more that I could say, Get on with living your life and enjoy your youth! Wish you luck!!

Answer 5

Hello, Nick.
Please do not end your life, as there really is so much to live for. You have an amazing life experience on which to help others even less fortunate than you. Just imagine, if you study hard and get the right qualifications, you could become such a support to other people in the future! Wouldn't that be something?!
In the meantime, have you had another chat with your GP, a friendly school teacher, or a Church minister?
Chin up and good luck.

Answer 6

Nick Im very sorry you feel this way but at the end of the day you've been put on this earth for a reason. Theres obviously something out there that only you are great at and it sounds like you haven't quite found that yet. First you need to speak to someone about the way you feel. Someone that doesn't know you very well that way the advice you're given is objective. If people don't want to hang around with you then thats their loss. Do they know who they're missing out being friends with? Speak to your family more. Maybe its just a mix up in communication thats causing them not to pay much attention to you but they really do love you. You're only 14. Life is to short to end it all. Hang in there. You will find light at the end of the tunnel. Best of Lck Remember You're Great. Don't Forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Hi Nick,

Hold on a moment. You are 14 and acne as cruel as it appears will pass. It seems huge now but it is a small time in your lfe. Please see your doctor because acne can be treated very, very successfully with medication now. No young person should suffer this way with it. In a short time all this will be history and you have your life before you. You MUST report bullying. If you do not have the courage, and who could blame you, to approach your tutors at school, then write a letter to them and ask if they can speak to you privately somewhere out of school. They will. You sound like a real nice boy. Its wonderful that you play romantic music, but try not to be sad and never think your life must end. The frivolous, superficial type of girl would not be attracted to some one with deep feelings like you whether you had acne or not. Please be strong and know that lots of people out here are rooting for you and sending hugs. God bless Nick. Write again when you can.

Answer 8

I think you are going through a difficult time in your life right now. I can't tell from your post how serious you are about your suicidal thoughts, but if you are serious it is important to think about whether you really want to be dead, not to exist any more. Or do you just want the life you are living now to die? If it is the latter, you can do something to change things.

Being 14 is crap, but it will pass and things will change. Well but that doesn't help you right now does it.

What will help is to talk to someone, does your school have a counsellor? If they do, go and talk to them, you will get independant and confidential support. If not, try and find out if there is a youth counselling service in your area, look up 'counselling' in the phone book or your local library will have a list of local counselling agencies. It should be free and confidential (they won't tell your parents). Alternatively, go to your GP and talk about how you are feeling.

If you are feeling very desperate, don't hesitate, call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 (from the UK) or visit their website on http://www.samaritans.org/

Answer 9

I've been depressed like that before, and can tell you about the wonders of seeing a doctor. Most of the help I've gotten has been from anti-depressants.

As for your current situation, I can say if you act like a jerk towards girls, they'll pay far more attention to you than if you're nice. It sounds difficult because you're a nice guy, but if you try this, I guarantee you, you'll feel a lot better.

Everything else the other users are saying is all true too.

Answer 10

You are just at a low time at the moment and you seem to have a low esteam of yourself. We all go through a tough time at your age due to the cruelty of other people. The thing is to have a talk with your parents to tell them how you feel, as they might not be able to tell how you are feeling. If you find that you cannot talk to your parents try to talk to someone such as a teacher or minister of religion, or a family friend. You will be surprised of the amount of friends you might have if you joined a club of some sort, as the friends you have at the moment do not appear to be nice friends. Things will get better I promise you, just hang in there, the achne will not last for ever and the doctor may prescribe medication to help you. we are all wishing you well.