I've been lied to and cheated on and I just don't trust men.
2006-10-24 08:37:58 · 34 answers · asked by poowoda715 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Time, time and more time. Finding the right man will aid in your recovery.
2006-10-24 08:39:34 · answer #1 · answered by sacharose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just how you feel, except I'm a man. I'm straight and feel the same way about women. I've been lied to and/or cheated on by every single female I've ever tried to have a relationship with. I'm proof that nice guys finish last, even though I'm not really the "nice guy" type. I just mean I haven't cheated, lied, or otherwise been a bad partner. In the eyes of many women, men are dogs. (liars, cheaters, ect.) But I believe that today's society and media bombard women with the idea that cheating is ok, and at the very least, something that is bound to happen.....on their end. Just look at the way musicians dress, the lyrics and names of their songs, scandals of political figures, ect. I prefer to call it "The cheating society." As far as trusting goes, well, there's only so many times you can be betrayed before you become jaded. So ,I tried to seek out someone with the same "issues" so that we could help each other because then we'd both have an understanding of what the other needs. You're not alone.
2006-10-24 08:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by jirstan2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel, I am the same way I don't trust anyone and it is hard to start a relationship with someone and continue that relationship without trust. However, from experience if you continue to do that your relationships will always fail because trust is part of a relationship. Being cautious is great you should always be that way. My advise to you with this person is start out fresh, try to get the not trusting out of your head. Its a new man, new day, and new relationship after that then live day by day with him, don't think about the past, don't focus on the future just enjoy every minute that you spend with him on a day to day basis. It also wouldn't hurt to let him know about how you had been hurt so you don't trust. My current boyfriend knows that about me and so when I start accusing which I do a lot he reminds me that he isn't here to hurt me and that he loves me very much. He has put up with a lot of accusations and is still with me, sometimes I wonder why. But I also know in my heart that I will eventually have to just TRUST, what doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. Another thing be very confident in yourself and realize that there is someone out there for you that will be the "ONE" sometimes you have to open and few bad doors until you get to the right one. It will happen though, have faith in yourself and if you pray and believe in god he will help. If you don't I apologize. If all else fails find a good girlfriend to confide in, maybe she can help. I wish you the best of luck and just know you are not the only one out there with this problem.
2016-05-22 08:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men? Men? Why do you categorize every man for the few men you have dated or had a relationship with? There are millions of men in the world and you are stereotype all of them based on the few you have had relations with. I would say change your criteria of men and actually look for good one. If you date an asshole guess what expect an asshole. A polished turd is still a turd. Trust everyone till they give you reason not to. Then just don't trust that person not the entire race.
2006-10-24 08:43:47 · answer #4 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider it a valuable lesson. Hopefully, you will be able to spot the liers/cheaters more easily now before you get involved. Also, maybe you will learn how to protect yourself from liars/cheaters in the future. Maybe you'll find out that you're attracted to the wrong kind of man for the wrong reasons. Sometimes it takes a few dogs before you can really learn what kind of mate is truly good for you. I know it sucks, but it helps you fine-tune your life. There are trustworthy men out there, you just have to be ready for them.
Good luck and don't give up yet!
2006-10-24 08:42:45 · answer #5 · answered by galacticsleigh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trusting men is not the real issue here, TRUSTING in general is the issue. We learn to trust using baby steps not by jumping in head first. Never forget trust is earned. That goes for both men and women.
2006-10-24 08:42:15 · answer #6 · answered by Jamaison D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends.. Where did you meet that man and if you already have known something shady about him before you meet him.. There are many stupid fools out there who are only interested in themselves.. And it is not just men.. Women are just as bad.. Both sexes will do anything to take things from you.. We are who we hang out with.. So hanging out with the right people should re-gain your trust again.. And it not happen over night either.
Trust is a two way street..
2006-10-24 08:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by MinnesotaRick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make yourself have a healthy relationship with men, even if your not dating just try to keep and open mind towards all men, there are some good men left in the world. You have a special person just for you, but if you close the door I'm afraid you won't find them.
Gayle
2006-10-24 08:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by gayle j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a shame .... I feel sorry for you. Just "go-with-the-flow" for a while, make new male friends. "Friends" means just that, not lovers, not sexual, just friends. Get to know the new friends; if there's a spark of interest on both sides, don't give into it until you feel comfortable and certain of what you are doing. You know, it is perfectly all right to have a male friend for a year or more, with no sex, just fun shared experiences. If love develops, trust will come with it.
Good luck. I wish you the best
2006-10-24 10:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by bobinbelen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men are not the same. I would not trust the same guy that cheated on me because once a cheater always a cheater!!
2006-10-24 08:52:44 · answer #10 · answered by adamsjeeps 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do people discriminate against genders. Women are just as bad in that sense. Don't dismiss a gender, obviously your attracted to the wrong type of men. Use that to watch out for future heart breakers.
2006-10-24 08:40:45 · answer #11 · answered by Starr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋