Question for ALL mothers! Please answer!?

Question

Do you compare your children to others? If you are around someone that seems like their children are smarter, sweeter, cuter and better behaved than your children are, how does that make you feel? Do you try to show your child off to prove that they are sweet and smart, too? ( or whatever it is?)

This is just a general question. Please do not give me advice.

Answer 1

To the parents who say they don't, If you REALLY don't I'm impressed with your self control, just as people compare themselves with others, we do it with our children too. no one said there was anything WRONG with it, it's human nature. Just as the birds flaunt their feathers to attract a mate, we as humans tend to try and be better. As for "showing your kid off", I don't think that is right because it teaches your child to be insecure. They pick up on that sort of thing. Even at a young age they are all ready comparing themselves to their peers. Teach them instead to be happy with who they are. I don't think comparing them to their peers is a bad thing though because it teaches you to notice if your child is growing at the same rate or not. How else would we know??

Answer 2

Based on your screen name I am sure you do.

I don't think my son is better then any child however I do compare to see if my son is where he's supposed to be at. I think all parents want their children to be on target (if not better) with their weight, height, and developmental stand point.

I don't think my child or any other child is smarter sweeter better or cuter then any other child so, sorry I don't feel anything because I don't think I'm applicable to answer that question.

As for showing off my children--no. I actually don't have to because of their behavior. If a child has good behavior what more can a person ask for? Behavior is shown by children--it’s not something to “show off” its just something that shines through.

Answer 3

No reason to compare my children to others. I love mine regardless if another child is smarter, better behaved, etc. Now the pretty part...mine are always prettier than someone elses children, but I don't know a single parent that doesn't feel that way. I do not show my children off, they aren't show dogs, they're people. I also don't need to prove anything to anyone about my children, I know they are smart, beautiful, well behaved, etc etc. That's all that matters to me. I could care less what someone else thinks about my children.

Answer 4

When I had my child, I had friends tell me that I would hear a lot of comparisons from other mothers!
I have to say honestly, that I haven't or if I have I didn't listen!! I tend to ignore things like that!
I have a 22 month old and I am a "mature mom" (I was gifted a child later in life!!)
I think it makes a difference that I am older, more laid back and have seen enough in this world that I don't sweat it. As long as my little guy is healthy, happy and developing, I am happy.
Besides, I love children, appreciate them ALL.
I feel bad for moms who feel the need to "prove" their children are smart, cute, sweet, etc... and some do it at the expense of other moms, and then I feel bad for them to have had to listen to it!
Each child is a beauty, a gift and outstanding in their own way!!

Answer 5

I have two kids, my girl is 7 and my boy is 1. My kids are smart, sweet and healthy. I have seen kids that may be smarter or better behaved, but I feel good when I see that. Why? Because I see even worse behaved kids all the time. Just the other at Wal-Mart a 6 year-old boy was insulting his mother loudly and she bought him what he wanted. Now that saddens me. So when I see well behaved kids, I smile...because someone is doing their job as a parent. Not all kids are perfect, I wouldn't want mine to be, how boring would that be. I would have no stories later on in their lives to embarrass them with..lol. I loved them as unconditionally as they love me. That's all that matters to me.

Answer 6

Actually, I have seven children and they are the smartest, sweetest, cutest and best behaved children who exist, so I don't need to show them off. They just are - lol

Truthfully? I got relief from any sense of competition with other parents by just raising them well and doing most of it by myself as a single parent. I just wanted my kids to be the best THEY could be and for some, that was academically... for some that was artistically/musically... for some it's yet to be determined. But... they always were well-behaved because I expected it and insisted on it. In public anyway - lol

All kids have their strengths and weaknesses, just like adults, and if I have one who wants to sing for the aunties or the neighbors, then I allow it... but I don't push them to perform, and their best competition is themselves :)

If it's an issue, and this will lean toward advice, someone once told me to think about how I'd feel if my husband expected me to outperform all the other wives.. or even his ex-wife, in every situation and how I'd feel. It would make me feel like his love for me was conditional on my performance and on being the best. I wouldn't want to feel that way and I wouldn't want my children to feel that way either, so I guess it stuck in my head all these years :)

Answer 7

I do, but only if the person I am around is "flaunting" the fact that their child can do something better. I think that all children have the same chance at being good at something, and it isnt fair for anal parents to always flaunt their childrens strengths in other peoples faces. When I do say something about one of my childrens strengths, I dont go over board. I may say... "That is so great that Johnny can play the piano at 5 yrs old. My son really isnt into music, but he loves to draw and we think he is pretty good."

Answer 8

No, I don't try to "show off" my child. When my little on started pre-school, I thought she was pretty smart, but there are a few kids that are even smarter. It didn't make me feel bad or anything, it just made me realize that I need to spend some extra time with her on certain areas, like learning to write her name and stuff.
But other than that, I just love her and try to raise her the best I can!

Answer 9

I don't compare my daughter to anyone else, although earlier in her life I was looking at other babies and feeling a little sad that they were doing things that my daughter wasn't, like crawling/rolling over etc. But then I realised that she was going to do things at her own pace and that I shouldn't compare her.
Now, I admit that I get jealous sometimes, but I don't enter into any 'she is better than your baby' competitions.
I think that I might sometimes subconsciously state what she is good at, but on the whole, I try not to.
I'm not competitive, or confident, enough to do this!

Answer 10

I DO NOT COMPARE MY CHILDREN TO OTHER CHILDREN. MY CHILDREN ARE WHO THEY ARE. THE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO MAKE THEIR CHILDREN SEEM LIKE THEY ARE ALL THAT AND THEN SOME, ARE THE ONES WHO USUALLY ARE LET DOWN BY THEIR CHILDREN IN THE LONG RUN. NO ONE SHOULD PRETEND ABOUT THEIR CHILD'S LOOKS, BEHAVIOR, OR KNOWLEDGE BECAUSE IT WOULD ONLY HURT THE CHILD IN THE LONG RUN IF THEY ARE NOT ALL OF THOSE THINGS. I DO NOT LET PEOPLE LIKE THAT BOTHER ME. WHEN I SEE SOMEONE TRYING TO SHOW OFF THEIR CHILD, I SMILES ABOUT IT BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO PROVE. I DO NOT HAVE TO ACT WITH MY CHILDREN. IT IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE PEOPLE I DO NOT EVEN KNOW COMES TO ME AND TELL ME GOOD THINGS ABOUT MY CHILDREN. WE DO NOT HAVE TO PUT ON A FRONT. IT'S EITHER YOU ARE OR YOU'RE NOT