parenting question?

Question

is it best to have your babies close after each other or with a bigger gap between each other? what are the pro's and cons?

Answer 1

My kids are six years apart...they are 14 and 8, and for me it has been great!..I had the time to enjoy all those little things like walking, first words, etc, because I wasn´t all stressed out by having two toddlers. The older one enjoyed all my attention for six years and enjoyed playing by himself or with company the same, and was expecting his baby brother with the same anticipation than me. Because he´s older, he is more understanding and patient with his little brother, and the little one is always in awe of his big brother, he still is his hero. So for me, it has been great, i wouldn´t change anything. My sister on the other hand, has three girls, 16, 15 and 14, and sometimes she didn´t even had time to get a haircut!! and doesn´t remember a lot of those little details that are special to us moms! (plus I can´t imagine having three teens at the same time-I´m glad I only have one at the moment!)
Hope this helps...

Answer 2

there are 5 years and 8 years between my 3 children. When they were younger I could give each one full attention because my first went to school as my 2nd was at home. When she came home from school my husband was home and was able to look after my son so my daughter had my attention. When my 3rd child was born the other 2 were old enough not to be affected by the new addition. Also because of the age gap it was handy that they could do things to help too. As they got older the age gaps became a problem because they were all at different stages of their lives and dont want to do what the others do want. Also I've still got the school run to do for another 8 years even though my oldest left school 5 years ago and my son left school this year. If I had it all to do again I would have them closer together.

Answer 3

I had 3 boys in four years and they get on famously and hardly ever argue. The cons are, it was hard work at the time and there was a constant string of laundry-there still is-and cleaning up after them. the pros are, they grow up together and are very close, homework was done with all of us sitting around the table and the older ones helping the younger ones etc. It is all over and done with in a few years.
Then 11 yrs after the youngest was born, I found out I was pregnant again! You do not realise what you forget, you start all over again with nappy changes, feeds, the loss of sleep as well as Independence that you have just gained etc.
Having had 3 so close and then a major gap before the fourth one, IMHO I -who would not be without the 2 yr old-advise having them close together! MUCH EASIER!

Answer 4

I love my kids close together. It wasn't planned that way and it's certainly no walk in the park now (they are 2 years apart), but I love them both so much and to see the interaction, even at this early stage makes it all worth while for me.

And I can't wait for them to be old enough to play together.

My husband is 7 years older than his brother and basically they never bonded, they are like two seperate people.

Obviously it's also down to how parents treat the situation but in my opinion siblings that are born very close together have a better chance at getting on with eachother.

Plus you are still in the swing of things when the second one comes along, you've still got the clothes, the bottles, the moses basket, basically everything. And once the baby stage is over you can relax a little.

Answer 5

My 3 are close together... 7yrs old, 5 yrs old, and 4 yrs old. The con is that its just HARD... they need you at these ages, you have to have patience made of steel and you have to have unlimited amounts of energy.... When I was pregnant with 2nd and 3rd, I still had to take care of the baby I already had so I didn't get to do much resting. And I still don't get to do much resting, although now they are at ages where its easier to get out and do stuff... like, they can get dressed themselves and brush their own teeth.. etc....

And it's really rewarding when you get down to that last kid and they finally get out of diapers, or stop needing formula... you will finally be done with that for good.... And its great seeing how close they all are, they are like friends, and they go to the same school.

I guess another con is that its so darn expensive, as far as day care goes, and school clothes. And I'm sure those types of expenses will always be there, even if they were further apart....

Answer 6

There are arguments for each side. Close together they will have a playmate and probably be closer as siblings. Further apart gives the parent a little break. I personally wouldn't want two in diapers at the same time. But too far is weird. I think it is weird when someone has a 17 year old and then has a baby.

Answer 7

I have a four year old and had my second when he was two, my third when my second was 19months. Having them close together was never a problem for me and other than a few weeks hard work I am finding it a lot easier than expected. My youngest is now 7 months. There was some jealousy with my eldest (who was three at the time) but he got over it fairly quickly and absolutely adores him. It's a personal decision as to how close or how far apart you want them. Whatever works for you.

Answer 8

Closer together, for sure. For generations my family has had kids close together (including my children). There have been no birth defects (Praise God!) and the body is an amazing thing; it heals quickly. There was even one set of cousins that were 9 months apart! TOO CLOSE!! LOL! They shared a crib! Way too close. You're not suppoused to have sex for at least six weeeks. ANyway, I loved having my kids close. They are 9, almost 8, and 5 and a half.

Answer 9

Definately better to have a bigger gap in between. My eldest is more or less able to sort himself out eg; eating, drinking, going to the toilet etc.
Much easier than dealing with two babies at once.

Answer 10

my sisters eldest is 13 months older than her youngest. They get on like a house on fire, yet argue like cat and dog - just as siblings do. but my sister is glad that she got things out of the way as she thought that an only child would be lonely.

my eldest is 9 years older than my youngest, but i am glad of the big gap because i don't think i could have handled two close in age. my eldest is great with her sister and they have just as close a bond as my neice and nephew.

with having them close after one another, the pregnancy thing is out of the way and you often go through similar things soon after one does it...school etc and that's that...on the other hand you have to virtually forget you as a person....

with having them far apart, you have a baby sitter, more time for yourself, have a different perspective on parenthood and have an instant example to your eldest as to why not to have boyfriends! however, on the other hand, it can be like starting again...