This is a long story so please bear with me. i am an adult with my own child and my parents have divorced. my father alone has done awesome. works. has his own house. doing his own thing and i think it is great. my mother on the other hand received well over 100k in settlement and just can not get her act together. every guy she meets she moves in with. always messing up her bank accounts. not paying bills. she would move in with someone and not tell me and my brother where she is. i have been told more times than i can count that basically anything that she does is not my business. so recently there is this guy that she is dating. he is totally bad news- has been abusive, on drugs, truck driver that has been charged with DUI, unemployeed and my mother has caught him on line talking with other women. there has been nothing positive about this guy. so last week she drops the bomb that she is marrying this guy- and if we dont deal with it she is done with us. am i wrong for flipping out
2006-10-24 08:17:12 · 7 answers · asked by MELISSA R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you're not wrong, but what can you do but let her crash and burn. She will eventually find out how bad this is and if you try to step in she will resent you for it until she realizes it herself.
2006-10-24 08:19:37 · answer #1 · answered by Alessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy is bad, then talk to her and stop her as she will feel hurt after marriage. Just tell her that she has two children and should act responsibly. I think she is insecure and want a guy for her old age. You know women are worried that in their old age they need a husband so they don't feel lonely cause at that age they will not work or have much friends, so its the husband.
You and your brother talk to her and promise her that you two will always be there for her till her end.
Hope she will change her mind and you and your brother and mother can live happily.
Good Luck
2006-10-24 15:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only imagine how distraught you are, but you know the old say, "I am not my brother's keeper"? Sure you are mad, and rightly so. Your values are completely different from hers. You can't tell her what and how and when, she is a big girl, has made disastrous decisions, but will no doubt never change. All you can do is either write her off, or, just love her for her, and as long as she doesn't ask you to bail her out of trouble, continue to love her, as they say, unconditionally.
2006-10-24 15:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong you are only looking out for your mums best interests even though your advice is not wanted,all you can do is sit back and wait for the call and trust me it will happen.she will need you one day probably before you need her,you sound like you have got your head screwed on the right way.Keep in contact with your dad and stay proud.....regards....louise
2006-10-24 15:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO your not wrong at all. This is very serious and sounds like an intervention is needed. Get her into counciling as soon as possible.
2006-10-24 15:40:44 · answer #5 · answered by Tink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow..when is your mother going to wake up and smell the coffee..leave her alone..I would talk to her again one last time to see if she has her head on straight..if then she does not listen then I would leave her alone , let her make her mistakes then maybe just maybe she will realize things could go better for her..
2006-10-24 15:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no your not wrong but you cant tell your mom what to do either you will just have to go with the flow and live with her choice
2006-10-24 15:23:43 · answer #7 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋