should grooms have a say so in planning a wedding or just agree with everything bride wants? a friend was asking me why her fiance wouldnt agree with her on anything and he said to her"isnt always what she wants, so who cares do whatever you want , even if i am paying for all this crap!" does he have a reason to be upset and should she let him decide on what color his tux should be since she wants everything perfect even though it never turns out that way.
2006-10-24 07:48:20 · 19 answers · asked by CUTEZY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think that the wedding day planning belongs to the bride. Now, if she wants him to look obnoxious, then of course she should step in, but come on, the more you let her have her way with this, the more ammunition you will have later on when he wants his way.
-EZ
2006-10-24 07:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Grooms should DEFINITELY have a say, it is not all about the bride at all, that's rubbish, it is their wedding day, a bride can't get married without a groom, and as he is also in the spotlight then yes, if the bride insists she make all the decisions then I would say she is selfish and that the groom is seeing the "real person". Agreed that some guys don't care about colour schemes etc, but I would always ask their opinion. My b/f has chosen what he wants to arrange for the wedding, so he is handling his outfit and that of the best man, the food, and the music etc. I think the man should have a say in everything, after all, it's the beginning of the partnership, and should start as they mean to go on.
2006-10-24 23:49:18 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grooms do care, at least a few do. My son-in-law wanted the wedding, my daughter wanted to elope. He wanted to see her walked down the aisle in a beautiful white wedding gown. I have help do nearly 200 weddings, and yes, some grooms do want to be included. It's usually the bride making the big decision in 75% of the weddings. The rehearshal dinner and honeymoon is their thing to plan. I personally like it when the couple choose their wedding plans together. She's happy and he's happy. He's not wearing some tuxedo the color of sissy nerd, and have a look of I wish I were died on his face.
I disagree the bride should be the major say-so. It's their wedding, not just hers. I think it should be a reflection of both of them. So, the bride should include him. That's not a very poplar option on here it seems, but I can say this....I would much rather have a happy groom in a brown tux and black shoes...then one that can't wait to ditch the tux, so he rushs the bride threw the whole thing. And I have seen this happen several times.
You are very right, no wedding is perfect. There are mistakes, or should have or shouldn't haves in all of them. Me, I thought it was wonderful how my daughter and son-in-law planned, shopped, and discussed everything down the lettering on the napkins. He won some-she won some. It was a wedding that they both could look back and say "that was great"
God bless us all.........
2006-10-24 13:14:15 · answer #3 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure. It depends on if the bride really wants his input. If she doesn't she shouldn't ask him. It seems that sometimes a lot of planning that goes into a wedding can be overwhelming for some men. Some men feel that proposing and buying the ring was a part of planning. Not all though, keep in mind. If her fiancee is paying for some or all of the wedding, he may want to have a say in some of the decision making. He might feel like he'd like to know where his money is going. Plus, he might just want to be a part of planning. If he is interested in making some of the decisions, she should be grateful and should take his opinions into consideration. He is right that it may not be all about what she wants. As far as the tuxes go, he's the one wearing it. He should be able to pick it out. Poor guy, he probably feels like she doesn't feel like he's capable of making a "good" decision. Even if he doesn't pick out a "good" tux, she should just relax and realize that it's his pick. If anyone says anything, she can just shrug her shoulders and say "he wanted to wear that one."
2006-10-24 12:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a wedding planner I see more brides get ecstatic than grooms.
Often brides ask me how they can get their groom more involved, and the groom isnt much interested in the finer details.
Should he have a say? YES, ABSOLUTELY!
Why is it more important to her than to him? It isnt always, there are guys that are very much involved in the planning, but many men just dont have the interest, and others feel compelled to keep their ideas to themselves because society in general has turned the wedding day into a "Bride's" event (as if the groom didnt exist).
If he wants to help with the planning tell him to sit down with the bride and discuss it. She should be willing to give him parts to take care of without her assistance or else let him have a say in all the decisions so that the decisions are THEIRS not just HERS.
If they cant get past this they need to re-evaluate why they are getting married at all.... this is just a small piece of the bigger picture (the marriage).
2006-10-24 08:12:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because a lot of women have this fantasy stuff built up in their heads, and concern themselves more about the wedding than the marriage. Men tend to be more levelheaded and think about the marriage. Of course the grooms to be should be involved in planning, especially what kind of tux he wants for himself and the groomsmen, as well as other things - like obviously about the ceremony and reception. Women tend to obsess over the details...
2006-10-25 00:33:42 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the bride and groom should work on the wedding together and at least compromise on things. The bride and groom are equally important, there wouldn't be a wedding without one of them being there.
2006-10-24 08:13:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
the focus tends to be on the bride. a lot of times men don't seem to care about the big day as long as they have their bride there. some men will want to help and plan with you, but ia lot don't want to be bothered.
my husband went with me to what he considered important stuff - the food, the cake, the dj, the photographer, the site, etc.
i picked out the flowers, the favors, the bridemaids dresses and my own dress all on my own
2006-10-25 06:18:46 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its important, its just the most bridezillas go ape shyte over the whole deal and demand the impossible from everyone.
its supposed to be a joyous day but some women turn it into some fairly tale make believe wonderland that cost 40 grand.
a guy tries to get a little input and she has a coniption fit about how it doesnt mesh well with HER Godly plans for HER perfect day!
last time i looked its TWO people getting married, not just HER day, its their day.
2006-10-24 07:57:57 · answer #9 · answered by seanachie60 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
A bride has been thinking about this day since she was a little girl. A groom doesn't think about it until he's engaged. It's much more important to her.
2006-10-24 08:36:18 · answer #10 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am dead serious when I say this day is just far more important to the bride than it is to the groom.
We men really could care less about all of the details of this day.
The big picture is what is important to us. The marrage is far more important than the wedding day.
2006-10-24 07:55:54 · answer #11 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋